LOVE OF MY LIFE(Mpreg)

"99 Roses"

Time passed realy fast when I wanted it to stop but as always when I think everything is going to be fine a Storm name FORTH always comes to my life and knocks on to my door and can't help myself but to open the door wide open for him.

It's always been me who let him inside the door.It's always been me who couldn't say no to him. It's always been me and alone me. I am the one who let him take control over me but not this time. I can't let him even if I want to I can't.

This time I am not alone. I have tae and the moon with me. I can't let them get hurt. It was okay till it was me alone. It was okay when the heart that was broken into pieces was mine but now I can't let my angel's heart shattered into pieces just like mine.

But I can't just blame everything to forth I was as much as guilty as he was we both 

That is what I am going through. Believe me this is the worst feeling in the world. In my case I don’t even know the reason for us not being together. Did I make a wrong choice that day leaving him without asking what was going on when he promised to me that he would be with me while he was kissing the girl that was supposed to be his fiance…?

Should things turn out different if that day I talked to instead of running away….?

Will it be different when I find out that we are gonna be parents? Will it make a difference….?

Will we have a better place in a better relationship….?

Will we be living together like a family moon me and him….?

The never ending longing to be together wont let me live. It feels painful that you both love each-other but can’t share feelings. It feels frustrating sometimes because unlike other couples, we both are living estranged even when in love. It feels like injustice done by God because when love came to your life , rather than grabbing the gift of God, you decided to move on due to the unfavorable circumstances.

There are many feelings.

Joy.

Joy of having angels in my life they are the living proof of our love for each other they are the symbol of our love they are the creation of our love I am blessed to have them with me in my life.

Pain.

Living the life alone that we dreamt together it was my and forth dream to create a home for us where we would live with each other and will have children together we will play together eat together bath together cook together shopping together we would do everything together.

Numbness.

The undying loneliness is here my heart there is an  hole a dark hole that is eat me inside out and without forth this hole isn't gonna  fill itself.i am incomplete without him.i am happy with angels I am but there will be an empty part in my life for forth that can't be filled or replace by anything or anyone.

Oh, my gosh! It's for real!

Aching for the other's touch.

The inability to exchange a simple hug or hold hands in his arms and sleep together every single thing is here. I loved him with my whole heart so did he. I know he did. I know he is in pain too but I still can't help it.

I couldn't believe it when I  found someone who understands even my silence. I don't have to do anything at all but he will read me like an open book and appreciate my soul!

Why must the god curse me by giving me the most amazing person ever while keeping us inches apart when we have a distance of  thousands of miles in over hurt that can't be filled.

“It's okay, my love. Cry if you need to. Someday we'll be together.”

And my tears subside for now as I think to myself…and my Angels

Someday…we'll be together

Someday…we will be in each other's     embrace.

Someday… we will love each other again                              like we did once. 

But today is not that day.

The knock on the door brought me back so I wiped my tears and moon and came running.

"Mommy how I am looking" asked moon.

"Beautiful as Ever" I said.

"What about me Mommy" asked tae.

"You are the most handsome guy I've ever seen in my life" I replied.

"What about daddy am I more handsome than him..?"asked tae.

" Yup you are more handsome than your daddy" I replied.

"But do you want your prince charming to stand outside forever or are you going to invite him inside?" I asked.

" We forget about him" they both said shyly.

"Go get him inside or else he will go back" I said and they both ran to open the door for their charming prince.

"Wow I thought you are not home I was just about to go back" said forth kneeling down to tae and moon's level and kissed their cheeks.

"We were waiting for you prince charming" said moon as she kissed him back.

"What about you buddy" asked forth to tae.

"She dragged me with her. I wasn't waiting for you," said tae.

"Moon didn't my..daddy said lying is a bad thing, bad uncle would take us away from daddy if we lie why are you lying" said moon.

"I am not, " said tae.

Before the moon can say something again, forth interpret them.

"Okay, it's okay if he wasn't waiting for me but I was waiting for you angels. I was waiting to meet you to talk to you and give you this," said forth as he handed them a bag with both of them.

They turned to look at the beam asking for permission with those cute innocent eyes that anyone can fall for whatever they can except the gifts given by me or nod.

Beam smiled and nodded in agreement; they hurriedly took the beg from my hands and ran to open and see what was inside of that bag.

I walked toward the beam as I handed him a rose flower bouquet.

"For you,your favourite" I said as I handed him.

"That wasn't necessary," I said as I accepted the bouquet.

"Aren't you gonna ask how many roses are there?" I asked.

"Do I have to?" he asked back. I don't know when he became this cocky should I say what happened in 5 years that changed him so much.

"I know you are curious," I said.

"So spit it out if you know I am curious or is it your hobby to make me suffer?"he asked.

"There are 99 roses in this bouquet"he said as he come closer to me"I only enjoy making you suffer when we are in bed you know that right" he whispered into my ears

"Why 99" he asked again.

"Because I have the 100 one roses it was special and as you know I keep everything special close to me if you want it all you have to do is ask I will give like I give you everything that you ask me to give you" he said.

"Keep it, I don't want it," he said.

Before we can argue more than that moon and tae come back running with their gifts.

"Daddy see my doll and doll house" moon said showing her new doll and doll house.

"Daddy sees a new plastic model and iron man" said tae showing his gifts.

"Are you that happy" Beam asked the angels.

"Yes we are so happy" they both said jumping.