Innum Konjam Neram: KM Episode Tags

394: Padaathu Padum Paadu

Episode 394: August 06, 2020

Author's Note:

Vanakkam Makkale! Nyayama paatha this chapter should have ended up in my other story, Jimikki Kadhaigal. But today's episode got in the way :D

Based on the lovely episode today, this tag could have gone in different ways - they lay next to each other for the first time after all! But this is the most character-consistent version I could think of and I went with it.

Let me know what you think!

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It had finally happened. Kathir and Mullai were on one bed. Lying next to each other.

Both their minds wander back to the only other time something like this had happened. Conversation had been easy with a metre between them on that Kodaikkanal bed. Within arm's reach of each other, everything seems natural and strained at the same time.

Mullai looks at the stubborn man in front of her and feels a rush of fondness and exasperation. For how long had she tried to make this happen? Even now, she was on her side, squarely facing him while he studiedly faced the ceiling. She could feel the effort he was putting into staying aloof settle down as a dewy boundary line between them.

She had often taken to making fun of his paai-sombu routine with glee in the past few months, but gazing at this wonderful, distant man lying next to her, humour fails to protect her.

Quickly swiping at her suddenly moist eyes, Mullai continues watching Kathir. Her wonderful, wonderful husband. A forgiving, dutiful son-in-law. A rugged gentleman. A thoughtful companion. The best father, she had no doubt. Right next to her. So close, yet so far away.

Unakkillaadha urimaya, he had assured her once. Pudikaadhinlaam illa/Romba romba romba pudikkum/love ellam vera engayum unarndhadhilla, she was fairly certain about. Azhagu and asathal have been tossed around. He had bought her poo and alwa.

Even Paapa and Valagaapu dreams have been dreamt! What could be keeping him away? She finally lets deep-seated concerns and doubts take over her sleep-addled brain. Had she pushed him so far in the initial months that he still refused to turn her way?

Kathir had stared at the ceiling long enough for the cracks to start looking like creased pleats on Mullai's saree. He could feel her watchful gaze pull him towards her with a vice-like grip. He couldn't turn her way and he couldn't turn away.

Having overcome the hatred, anger and disappointment in the first few months of their marriage, they had settled into a steady companionship and understanding. Taking initiative was risky. Kathir didn't have it in him to face Mullai's rejection or disappointment. He knew that they'd raise children and grow old together, but didn't know how to gather her into his arms and brush her hair.

Kathir feels himself relax gradually and senses that Mullai must have fallen asleep. He finally turns towards her and sees her face pressed against her palm. She looks annoyed even in her sleep. He chuckles and settles comfortably, facing her.

Her Jimikki presses into her cheek as she snuggles closer to her palm. Questions that had ailed Kathir on many nights find him again - How does she sleep with her Jimikkis on? Don't they prick her? Won't they break?

She must be used to them. And the Jimikkis seem sturdy. He had never seen her lose a bead. What would she do if she lost a bead? Was there any way to string it back on? She wouldn't throw a pair away over a couple of broken beads, would she? These were Jimikkis that he had gifted her. He really didn't want her to throw them away.

That was that then. He couldn't let her break those Jimikkis. He sits up, reaches over and gently unscrews the back of her Jimikki. The screw seems loose and comes off easily. He slides the Jimikki and screw off her ears, pairs them up and places them on the floor.

That had been the easy side. He prides himself on managing to remove it without touching her skin and starts making plans to reach the side pressed between her left cheek and palm. He tries his trick of controlling her movements through his mind. Seven minutes of mind games later, Mullai turns towards the wall. Kathir pats himself on getting better at this and moves to work on her Jimikki.

This one is stubborn. Kathir holds the front firmly and tries to remove the screw gently. His fingertips brush against her earlobe and he pulls his hand back in a hurry. He slowly reaches over again to caress her ear and stops midway.

His sudden urge to touch her bothers him. No. He wouldn't lovingly touch her for the first time when she is asleep. It was a harmless, loving gesture and he knew it. He looked forward to a lifetime of lovingly brushing her hair and caressing her face in her sleep. But she would have to be awake for the first time.

That was that then. He would trust her to not break the Jimikki and let her be. He lay back down grumpily and tried to fall asleep. With a sense of emptiness troubling him, he reaches down and picks up the Jimikki he had removed a while ago. He moves it to his lips, closes his eyes and gives a heartfelt kiss. His lips linger on the metal and the droplets tickle the sensitive skin below his lips.

He closes his fingers around the Jimikki and turns towards Mullai on the bed. With his hand against his heart, Kathir finally falls asleep.