Dearest

#3

Dearest,

I am dearly sorry that I have not had the chance to write to you in so long! It's been a whole month that has passed, and I am DEARLY sorry that I did not write. But, I do have an explanation of why I did not seem to have the time to write.

In my last letter, I mentioned the Winter Ball that my family will be hosting. It's a celebration of Christmas, and it will be hosted on Christmas Eve. I still have not picked out Mother, Father and Paul's Christmas gifts! I am thinking of getting Mother some perfume, and Father some perfume as well. And for Paul, I will be sure to get him that pocket-knife he has been pleading for. How blissful he will be when he sees it. Don't you think, Johnny?

Mother and I went shopping at the new boutique for ball-gowns, and we picked one that suits me quite well if I may say so myself. The gown is made of velvet and quite soft. It has a large neck-line, though. Usually Mother would never purchase a gown that shows that much of the cleavage area, but I pleaded with her, and she gave in when she saw that I was close to tears.

Mother and Father are very protective of Paul and I. They still are set that I shan't find myself a suitor, even though I am 19 years of age! Mary, one of my companions told me that she is already looking for a spouse! Mother would go out of her mind if Father suggested such a thing. Or the other way around!
Anyway, the dress is green of color, and it fits me like a glove! When Father saw me in it the first time he was bought to tears! How silly is that?

Around last year, during Christmastime Father and Paul snuck abroad a ship! Did I tell you that, Johnny? Ah, yes, I did. I can see it in our previous letter.

You must attend the ball too, oh, Johnny! You and I will dance in the candle-light of the ballroom, and you will put your hands by my waist and I will place my hands around your neck. And then, when the clock strikes midnight, like all of the other couples, we will sneak outside to the courtyard and share a kiss under the moon.

That would be rather splendid, would it not? Please answer my letters, Johnny! And if you fail to show at the Winter Ball I will be moved to tears! That will be an immense betrayal towards me. Mother and Father will be quite upset if they see me in tears at my own ball. Please! Attend the ball for Pete's sake!

You know, Johnny, you have been upsetting me with your silence! Speak, you bastard! Or at least write to me to let me know you are there.

Life has become very lonely, and sometimes I wonder if it would be better to just end my life altogether.

We have a noose in our storage room.

Father has plenty of pistols and rifles.

He would not notice if it was gone.

Now would he?