T H E M .

Doubts and "What if"s

Ok, so why the fuck do I have to cry over you all the time?!

Goddamn, how the fuck did I manage to fall in love over a screen huh?!

I didn't even know you could love someone so much! 

With every exchanged word and emoji I fall deeper in love with you.

 Like, shoot, I didn't mean for this to happen!!

I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you!

But here we are....

And I couldn't be more happy with it.

Now, I can't imagine my life with anyone but you.

But then again.....

I can't help but think....

What if?

What if we grow apart?

What if we never meet in person?

Or, what if I never get to kiss you, or hold you, the way I want to?

What if...

What if....

Things don't go the way I thought it might?

We're talking now, and I'm trying my best not to cry.

Because I doubt you'd like be back...

I doubt you'd want me like that...

I'm scared of you rejecting me...

As both friend and lover.

Because I can't stress enough how much you mean to me...

And how much I want- no, need you.

 I need you...

Because you've saved my life more times and I'd like to admit...

I'm also scared that you'll find this, read it, and then I'd be outed...

I'm not ready for that yet...

Because even if things go well...

I don't know if I could handle a long-distance relationship...

Knowing that I could be holding you and kissing you....

But we'd be limited to video calls and text...

I don't know....

I just don't know....