Guide to Hobbit Courting

The Courtship begins

The courtship with a hobbit starts when he decides to buy you random things. For example; if you tell a hobbit that you noticed a great looking book in a shop, and the next day he has bought it for you, you know the hobbit wants to court you. All the hobbits know this but the other races are not familiar with this courting behaviour. That's why some other races might not realize the hobbit tries to court them before the little man/woman get's very frustrated because he is not acknowledged. It is important to let them know you understand they want to court you.

Of course, maybe the most important thing to a hobbit is respectability. If your suitor can't prove to you that he, or she, has lived a respectable life up until now, you are welcome to decline their offer of courtship. It is very important that you will choose your mate carefully. And we all know what will happen to you if you live with hobbits and you are not respectable. 

If you don't know what I'm talking about, ask Bilbo.

Hobbits are straight forward when it comes to courting but they stay polite if they decline a courtship. There are no official words but you must let the suitor know that you don't want to start the courtship. The suitor can tell you about all the respectable things he has ever done and you are free to talk to his neighbours, family members and friends to hear more stories. It is their job to inform you well and tell you if the hobbit is indeed respectable or not, according to their standards. After that, you have to decide if you wish to court the hobbit or not.

For example; going on adventures, disappearing for a year without any warning and without any letters, travelling with dwarves to unknown places and participating in a war is not respectable at all. Most hobbits will avoid you and think you have lost your mind if this is the life you have lead. (Bilbo made me write this down... I don't see the point in adding the obvious *smack* and now I will have a blue spot on the back of my head tomorrow morning.)

Another thing that is deemed highly respectable among hobbits is saving your body for your spouse. You are not allowed to give yourself to anyone before you have a ring around your finger and before you have said 'I do'. Bilbo didn't want to go into specifics on this subject but he did tell me that it is hard to know when someone has given themselves away before marriage. He explained that it is a part of the special bond the two hobbits share when they get married. There are no punishments if you do it before being married.

Bilbo, however, told me about one couple who were about to get married when the suitor found out the bride had already slept with another man before their courtship. The suitor had turned his back on his consort and had left town for many years. There was no real punishment for this, but the rumours wouldn't stop. The poor girl was faced with the consequences of her decision many years after that. Other hobbits wouldn't stop talking about it. Luckily, she married the love of her life a few years later, and the rumours settled down. 

In the Hobbit Courting Book it specifically says that 'a hobbit shall not participate in any foolish business before his or her marriage'. I asked Bilbo what they meant with foolish business and I know I shouldn't have done that. His cheeks turned tomato red and for a while he could only mutter some incoherent sentences.

- Poetry

If you accept the courtship with a hobbit you can only wait for the first poetry to arrive in your mail. They are very poetic folk who don't hide their feelings from anyone. They will tell everyone who they are courting and for how long they have been together. When you are a shy person and you want to keep your courtship to yourself, you should probably let the hobbit know before you accept his courtship.

The poetry has almost always something to do with food or plants. Hobbits like to express themselves with the things they can relate to, like their pies and sunflowers. For example:

You are the sun to my sunflower,

You bring me joy on grey nights

and make me rise with just one gentle touch

You are the one who brightens my days,

the one who can't hide behind the white clouds

Be my son forever more

Bilbo didn't get why I was snickering, but I just couldn't help myself. He had once written this for a young hobbit lass. Sadly she had turned him down. Either way, he now had his eyes set on another hobbit. Bilbo didn't have to grieve for long.