Rage, Rage, Against The Dying Of The LIght

Death Doesn't Discriminate

A/N: Okay so I know that the timeline of the story doesn't match the tv timeline but I'm still figuring out the kinks honestly. This is definitely going to a slow burn fic so just wanted to put that out there as well. Also, there are some weird age differences between characters too so.
Also I do not own the peaky blinders. Only my own original character(s) and that's it!! Thank you and please enjoy!!

1919:

The death of my best friend was something I had seen coming for months. It was a Friday evening when we had gotten the news.

"Danny is dead", a peaky blinder said showing up on our doorstep.

My mother almost immediately collapsed onto the floor of our flat.

"No, he isn't," I said laughing incredulously in the boy's face.

Denial. One of the many stages of grief. There are so many more than seven.

"How he'd die then huh"? I asked still in disbelief. The first time they said he died it had all been a lie, a ploy to get the Italians to believe that he was so because he had gone off the rails again and stabbed some poor innocent grocer. So surely this had to be the case again.

"Tommy wants to see you, he's at the Garrison waiting. He'll not be patient about it neither." The little boy said.

"Bloody Christ I need to change and make sure my mothers okay. You'll wait outside." I said

I don't care that it was colder than Jack Frost himself outside. I had too many things to do.

I got my younger sister Vera and told her the news whilst changing into something warmer and then I was out the door. There were other Blinder boys outside as well.

"For protection then?" I asked.

The little boy just nodded. He couldn't have been older than 12 and already he was a Blinder in the making. I had never wanted that for Danny but he was so changed after he got back from France after the war had ended. Couldn't hold a steady job. Was prone to go off the rails anytime any place and, I knew that a part of him had suffered and died when he was over there anyway. I couldn't feel anything as we walked to the garrison I was just numb. That was all. It wouldn't last though.

I opened the door myself and walked in. The streets were desolate, the pub empty of its usual occupants as well.

"Davina, I'm-".

"How'd it happen then?. Did he finally go batshit and off himself? Drink himself to death? Or was he bloody stupid enough to get involved in Blinder business again?" I yelled.

I sat down across from Tommy and took off my coat and scarf, I grabbed his glass and downed it instantly. He poured another glass and I drank again, but slowly this time.

"It can't be true. He promised me. HE PROMISED ME." I wailed

Tommy handed me a handkerchief, it was so quiet except for the sound of my sobbing.

"He jumped in front of the bullet for me, luv that's how he died," he said in a remorseful tone.

I couldn't breathe. I wish I had died right then instead.

Tommy got up and pulled me against his chest and it was futile to resist him but I did so anyway. He rarely showed affection for the people he cared about so I settled as he sat down again in a booth with me in his grasp. He didn't speak or say a word, he just rubbed my back and hummed a familiar hymn as I cried and cried.

We stayed like that for at least an hour or two.

"When's he going to be buried then? Do Anya and the boys know? God poor Anya." I said breaking the silence.

"Sunday I imagine". Tommy said.

"Two days then. I feel sick." I whispered.

"If you need to be sick the loo is-. Oh not like that then. I feel it too luv, he was my brother even though we shared no blood." he said quietly

"He was my first everything. I smiled, my first kiss, first love, the first boy that ever made love to me." I said.

"Yeah? Was he any good then luv? I always wondered why the girls seemed to flock to him honestly."

I hit his chest and laughed sadly. He was smoking a cigarette and I plucked it from his lips and took a deep from it. As the nicotine hit my bloodstream I could feel instant relief wash over me.

"Thought you quit smoking?" he asked

"Mum thinks I did but I still sneak one now and then always from Danny too. How'd he end up in blinder business again Thomas? Truly. Last I saw him was a few months ago. I couldn't be around him anymore for my own sake not after he killed that grocer. I absorbed so much of his own pain and suffering that it eventually began to become my own. Then he went to the shipyard and I thought he was gone until I learned he wasn't and the lines just became so blurred I put it in the back of my mind."  I said softly.

"How'd you find out he was back then? That intel should not have gotten out. Seems someones got a loose tongue and nobody told me," He said angrily.

"I want to see Anya and the boys but we had a falling out after Danny disappeared to London, she accused me of whoring around with him and encouraging his outbursts," I said

"Was there any truth behind her accusations?" he asked

"Yeah the first part was true and I told her it was and she slapped me across the face and then I left because I didn't know how to see past it all anymore. So I had to let him go. I think I'm up the duff as well so that only adds to my list of never-ending problems." I whispered.

A/N: I left the first chapter on a cliffhanger so please read on to the next one if you liked this chapter thanks!!