authors note!
so i decided to just start writing long ass chapters instead of spreading them out into different chapters because i feel like it's easier for me and plus i sometimes don't know where to cut my stories, especially this one. i hope you guys enjoy this little story! <3
oh and sorry for any misspelling or mistakes, i was too lazy to reread all of this lmao! <3
TRIGGER WARNING! (abuse)
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JONATHAN'S POV
12:27 a.m.
the pain i'm going through right now is just unexplainable. i've been smoking and drinking more lately, not even caring about life anymore. there's no purpose of me here on this earth without her with me, beside me, traveling with me, pushing through every obstacle together, it's hard without her here. i've been going to the club everyday tryna get my mind off of this girl but i just can't. nothings helping, no matter how drunk i get, how high i get, and all the girls i take home with me after the club, it always leads back to me thinking about her.
"john baby, please put the bottle down" my mom comes to me and tried to get the bottle out of my hand. "mom please mom, i need it" i grab it from her. "son i don't like seeing you like this" she gave up trying to take the bottle away. "i can't help it" i shook my head and took another sip. "i'm worried about you jonathan" she grabs my hand. "don't be. theres no point of being worried about me, im worthless" i looked at her. "you're worth it john, i carried you for nine months, don't let a girl ruin you like this" she explained. "you don't understand, i was in love with her, i was gonna marry her, SHE DID THIS TO ME MOM! ITS ALL HER FAULT!" i cried out as i slammed the beer on the table. "calm down please" she flinched and grabbed the bottle from me, i went to the kitchen counter and grabbed my keys. "john where are you going?" she asks me. "somewhere your not" i said and slammed the door.
i ran to my car in the rain, hopped inside my car and sped off with tears rolling down my eyes. i hate how i get like this, i always take it out on my mama and i do feel bad after but it ain't right. braelyn changed me for the worst, fuck i hate saying her name. i know i shouldn't be blaming her for everything because i understand why she left me. i arrived at the club, i parked my car, grabbed my ID and my gun just in case, and then walked inside. "back again?" the bartender said as he makes the drink i always get. "you already know the drill" i said as i sat at the bar. "did you know that theres a show today?" he says as he passes me my drink. "who's performing?" i asked him as i took a sip. "not sure, its a beautiful girl though" he said. "hm i should stay and watch then" i turned back around facing the bartender. "i think she's going on right now" he said as he looks at the stage, i continued to face the bartender. "EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR B.SIMONE!" the announcer said as everyone claps, my eyes lit up, i quickly turned around and there she was. standing on top that stage, about to sing.
🎶 "i'm going under and this time i fear there's no one to save me, this all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy.
i need somebody to know, somebody to have, somebody to hold.
it's easy to say, but it's never the same.
i guess i kinda like the way you numbed all the pain" 🎶
her voice, god damn her voice was the most beautiful voice i've ever heard. i never knew how much i missed that voice of hers, she would always sing me our favorite song every time i was feeling down. "wow that girl has a beautiful voice" the bartender says as he washes the cups. "i know right, she's beautiful too" i smirked. "i heard she just got out of a abusive relationship, this is her first time back" he says. "oh really? what happened?" i asked him, acting like i didn't know what happened. "i heard she was abused by this guy and she had to run away so she could leave him" he explained. "what was the dude's name?" i asked him. "jonathan.." he said slowly, looking at me weird. "yeah it's me, i regret everything" i shook my head and chugged the rest of my drink, "i want another one" i slammed the cup down, he rushed to make another one.
