not a 90s gay story

hozier, please, make a song out of this

Jimin closed the book and cried — his chest going up and down as fast as the counterclockwise, tears accompanied by an unknown physical pain even for a doctor. Worse, his soul was also hurting. Love seemed maddening, painful and desperate. It seemed to burn and be firm as a punch while, simultaneously, sweet as a hug from your favorite person. It made him want to cry and smile and scream. Yes, he wanted this — to love, to be hurt and have his heart broken, to feel like the world is ending the next day. He wished to feel like the book's characters and ask to die if his beloved was not by his side. He needed to love. And when he left this life, he hoped that the reason would be love. Love was revolutionary. Did he deserve the best of all gifts and worst of all curses?

Aimlessly, the hopeless romantic opened Google Docs and started writing. Jimin was bad at feelings but good at writing. Through words, he could find himself — or almost. He wrote:
"I am writing because I am overflowing. As I try to fall asleep, watching sunlight fall upon my bedroom's green wall, agony hits me. Sometimes I feel the twinge, and my whole body reacts and I know that something is wrong. I search on my mind: what was I thinking about before? Oh, I was thinking about how I've never fallen in love..."

Then he stopped writing. Creativity block. It was hard to find something interesting to be said since people had probably written about everything already. If he talked about the stars, it would sound cliché — everyone writes about stars — the same goes for the sky colors, the sea, nature, etc. Instead, he tweeted: "I'm looking for unseen words, is that even possible? Maybe every metaphor has already been used."

"But what about a 70s gay story? It ain't 90s", Jungkook tried once again.

"Just get over the 20th century, why are you so obsessed about it? Homophobic levels were higher, racism too. I wouldn't be so excited when it comes to that, you know, If I were an Asian gay guy."

Taehyung laughed at those two cuties having lunch together. He was happy for Jungkook to finally being able to spend time around his crush after so many years. Jimin, indeed, had been an asshole, but he knew it was due to internalized homophobia. It wasn't the same as some straight guy saying it. Besides, Jimin acknowledged his mistake quickly and seemed to be committed to learn and to become a better person. Taehyung was excited to follow his development as a decent human being, he could sense the boy's potential and hidden character. "That's why you don't like these times then?"

"Stop implying that I'm gay". It was funny because Jimin, even being an extrovert — Taehyung could bet his MBTI was ESFJ — was acting awkwardly around them. Although protesting, it looked like he was holding his voice tone to sound softer. It didn't work.

"Why is he sitting with us out of nowhere?"

"Be kind, Yoongi", Jungkook exhaled. "Can we eat in peace?"

The scariest people when mad are kind people. Jungkook was a baby boy but, when he got angry, not even Yoongi could deal with it. The Math student immediately went silent, and they stayed like this for a while. Of course, Taehyung was the one to break it. "You guys better hurry with the story conflicts aside. Better remember that my grades depend on this and my scholarship depends on my grades."

"Don't worry. I can be a lot of things but I ain't irresponsible", said Jimin. "When will I meet Seokjin? He's with us on this, isn't he? If he's gonna play the main role then I gotta know him."

"He works between classes", it was Yoongi who replied, "but we'll hang out on Friday. You can go too, all of you."

"Wow, you acted rudely when he came to have lunch with us and now you're inviting him to go out with you and Jin-hyung?"

"'Cause I wanna see you happy, dumbass". Jungkook's face went red as the statement suggested Jimin's presence would make him happy. Luckily, Jimin was so naive about gay stuff that he didn't even notice what Yoongi meant.