chaos is a friend of mine

venti

"Hey," A hand shakes my shoulder and I jerk from where I had been sleeping. 

Rosalie's face peered over mine with concern. "You were yelling."

"Sorry," I murmured, thinking of the nightmare I just had. I felt cold and full of dread. 

There's a knock at the door and Edward appears in the entrance to the room. "Hey Jo, wanna go for a ride with me?"

He probably saw my nightmare and wanted to talk about it. I nod and sit up, ready to find my shoes when Edward scooped me up into his arms. 

I don't protest, still jittery from the dream. We take his silver volvo and drive in silence for a while. 

"Rosalie will love you no matter what," Edward starts and I peer towards him. He focused on the road. "She will support any choice you make."

"Nico was talking to me in my dream again," I knew he had seen it. "I just want him to go away."

"You're tired, and I understand that," Edward soothes. 

"Do you, Teddy?" I question a little harshly. "I haven't kissed my wife in months because the thought of someone who hurt me watching me sends me into a panic attack."

"I can't imagine how frustrating that must be," Edward sounded sympathetic. 

"I want him out of my head," I belatedly realized that there are tears dripping into my lap. I furiously scrub my face with my pajama sleeve. "And the only option I have at the moment is the Nollic clan. No matter how much Jane and Alec hate them, they're my best option."

"You've only heard Jane and Alec's opinions on them. You should talk with the Volturi about it. Get their opinion," Edward suggested. 

"But what if they tell me not to go. What if they take away my only chance?" I questioned. 

Edward pulled the car over and turned to look at me. 

"When you fought Nico, you slit your throat. I was never more terrified in my life than I was seeing you bleed out. I never want you to go into a dangerous situation like that again. If the Volturi think that the Nollic clan is too dangerous then I don't want to risk it," Edward's voice was serious. "You're my sister, Jolene. I hate that Nico is in your head but if it comes down to it then I would rather you be safe."

I can't stop the floodgates that open, a leftover headache from the dream. "I'm so tired, Teddy."

"I know," Edward's voice was quiet as he reached over and pulled me into a hug. 

"My sister is going to live here. I don't want her getting hurt," I murmur into his shirt. "Nico already possessed me once. I don't want to risk hurting my sister. Vampires can bounce back but humans can't. Nico very well nearly killed Renee." 

"We won't let you hurt her," Edward promised. 

"What if I can't get him out?" I let out a sigh and press my face into his shoulder. "I'm scared."

Edward was quiet for a moment before his arms tightened. "Me too."

The drive was continued in silence for a while until Edward decided to change the subject. He might have heard one of my stray thoughts that crossed my mind.

"Why don't you call Esme 'mom'?" He blurted, the question seeming to have weighed on his mind for a while. "You call Carlisle 'dad'."

"I do," I nod and glanced at him. I hadn't expected him to ask.

"It would mean a lot to Esme if you did it," Edward started before he backtracked. "But it's okay if you don't see her that way."

"Teddy," I interrupted before he can get frustrated at trying to phrase things without offending me. "It all boils down to one thing."