Traces of the past

1. Losing my notebook

Reth POV-Edited

I looked one more time in the mirror to make sure every strand of my hair was in its place. I fixed the collar of my old white shirt and looked at my girlfriend for approval. As she titled her head a little I understood that I was good to go.

-You look fine, Reth! Stop fixing yourself. She scoffed at me when I reached her.

-No, I don't! I replied. 

She knew me too little to understand the need of checking myself constantly wherever I go. My face was fine, everyone was telling me this, but I always felt like there must be something that can be fixed; or I was just obsessed as everyone was saying.

Obsession did not quite suit me. I never liked how it sounded to my ears, it had a very bad meaning attached to it. Let's say I was preoccupied.

-You spend at least one hour in the mirror every morning and still looking at me? 

She looked away mad. 

-Mai întâi să vezi bârna din ochiul tău și-apoi paiul din ochiul fratelui! I whispered under my breath while trying to catch up with her. (You shall first see the wood beam in your eye, then the straw from your brother's eye!-Romanian proverb meaning to look at your flaws before judging others)

I knew these from my mother that was Romanian and in my distant childhood, she taught me things that I no longer remember. I still remember her eyes, but only a little. They were green like mine and very kind.

That is all I can say about them as my childish mind couldn't make up a more beautiful and accurate description of my mother's eyes.

I was now in Romania, my mother's sacred land. She was long gone, but the memory of her was still vivid in my imagination. Her dazzling eyes, her hair that was caressing my pale face while she sang a lullaby I couldn't understand, her slim fingers playing with my hair...

She left me when I was then, with only some phrases in her languages that I managed to memorize. She was proud of it and always spoke highly of her country.

-Can you move faster? It's almost the time of the meeting and we still have ten minutes more of walking.

-Yes, yes... let's hurry...

I tried to recall my mother's face again, but my thoughts were drifted to what were going to do this afternoon and I could not reconnect.

My girlfriend, Sarya was talking about our visit, the last resort of our three day trip to Romania, to a medieval castle. We were also meeting another three friends that we came with, as she mentioned.

The trip to Romania was my idea. Thinking about my lost childhood, that I could not let behind,  no matter how much I tried, I decided that it was finally the time to visit my mother's country.

Without any plan to look for the past, for her family, for her story, for the reason that she abandoned me, I ended up coming here just like any other tourist, with my girlfriend and a group of noisy friends that were the only ones to agree.

My other friends thought lowly of Romania. It was a country of rubbish and gypsies, of thieves and uneducated people for them.

I on the other hand was imagining it as a fairy tale land, but on a second thought that was maybe because I was associating it with my beloved mother and all the things leading to her were beautiful to me.

The weather was hot, as it was at the end of summer and one of those days where the sun hits with it's most powerful heat as if fearing autumn will come too fast and shadow it's round glowy form.