someone was going home today. someone was going home today. those same words kept spinning around and around my mind, sucking me in. i climbed slowly out of bed and pulled on my dance clothes for the day. someone was going home today. and it might be me.
"hi," i said flatly to mom, who slid me a plate of toast. we ate our breakfast in silence. all my hard work might be sliding down the drain today. even if it wasn't me who was sent home, i would feel so terrible because someone else's dream was being stripped away from them.
we piled into mom's car, turning the heat all the way up as we drove to the studio, still silent.
"i'm sure you won't get cut," she said, sounding choked.
"uhuh."
⤎⎼༌·⋱🩰⋰⋆༌⎼⤏
"let's go!" abby called from the studio. we lined up in front of the mirrors and waited.
"i'm happy with the results of the competition. i'm happy that the group won, and i'm also happy that the duets had a clean sweep, which is the way it should be. i'm of course happy, for our perfect score, as well."
she smiled at me. i gave a weak one in return. i was too worried.
"however, i am not happy with the way everyone behaved. we had kids crying. kids making mistakes. kids threatening to quit. we have an entire group of women who are jealous of a fourteen year old boy! i will not stand for that. i did it. the same kid was in the front every single time. we won every time."
maddie. of course. maddie wasn't talking to abby anymore, even though she was abby's favourite.
"i want a team where everyone pulls their weight. brady and mikki, you are clearly the best dancers on this team."
i didn't even feel like smiling.
"but i'm not going to put all my eggs in one basket. so regardless of the talent, brady is going on a break."
my heart literally stopped.
i hugged brady. i knew his mind must be in a mental tornado. everyone was so surprised.
"i'm sorry."
"each and every one of you girls are going to learn what it's like to carry the routine yourselves."
"i don't want to go home and i think that this is...crazy," brady finally said. some of the moms were crying now.
"let's go," tricia snapped.
"no, you're dancing this week."
"he does a good job and we're gone? that makes sense. do you think he's got all the advantages now, guys? it's what you want? are you happy?"
"stacey? are you happy?" abby asked. stacey shook her head. but i knew that she thought it would be a good opportunity for lilly to shine. "we're not going to use brady to win. we're going to win and win as a team. let's move onto the pyramid.
at the bottom of the pyramid, savannah." abby took off the covers of lilly's headshot, then sarah's, gia's, hannah's, brady's, pressley's and finally mine. "to be honest, i'm only really happy with mikki's performance. this week, we're going to scranton, pennsylvania. the group routine is a tribute to the queen. our routine is called king of queens."
so brady was the lead. he deserved it.
"brady, you are the king, portraying freddie mercury. we also have four solos. hannah, you are doing tainted rose, and it's based on gypsy rose lee. it will not be sweet and pretty.
"next solo goes to brady. one of my favourite broadway shows was swan lake. you are doing your swan song.
"gianina, your solo is entitled snowflake. it's about your relationship with your grandmother. she passed away just before your broadway debut."
gia started to cry. her grandmother must have been her biggest supporter, and she narrowly missed her debut, narrowly missed seeing gia's star moment. i felt sorry for gia. we piled in to hug her.
"if you lose to hannah, you will be going be going home. if i send him home, i can send anybody home. everyone is replaceable. moms, go."
we spread apart and started warm up. brady was going home.
but there was this tiny, sick part of me that was happy i wasn't the one leaving.
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