⎼⎼⎼ 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 ➵ 𝑏.𝑓.

030

mikki

i almost couldn't drag myself out of bed. yeah, the group won. i was happy. but the euphoria had worn off after a few hours. i was off my dance high. i trained every hour i could, making sure i ate healthy and stretched a lot, but dance was becoming tiring. it was new to me. i used to be able to get up every morning at 4am if i needed to go to dance, but now...

i didn't have my best friend connor.

i didn't have my best friend brady.

drama was spiralling around me every week.

girls crying all the time.

and then perfection.

it was too much for me. i wanted to go back to what dance was like before. dancing hard, going to competitions and training with my friends. now it just seemed to be people attacking from every side.

i put my bag down on the bench and plugged in my earbuds as i pulled off my boots and took off my coat.

oh and i,
i don't wanna do anything but cry.
oh i'm so low,
i'm almost at the bottom,
oh nowhere to go
even my soul has-

"girls! moms! let's go, let's go, let's go!"

i pulled out my phone and pressed pause.

"congratulations. the group finally won!"

everyone clapped and cheered. even i allowed myself a smile.

"i guessed that my philosophy worked. without brady, you danced together as a group."

i wished she would stop talking about him.

"no." it was yolanda. please no. "bringing elliana in to stop everyone else stuffing everything up for the rest of the team worked."

"they knew that they had to work together as a team. with or without your kid."

"but you can't discount her."

"i have been in touch with yolanda and the schooling has worked out," abby said, "i had a trial because i wanted to put this assault to rest."

"if there was an assault then i would be in prison," yolanda fired back. "i'm not going to stay here and continue."

"then go." stacey piped up. "we have to find a way to move past this. she attacked my kid!"

"moving on to the pyramid," abby called over the noise. i was glad. my head was pounding. "at the bottom, hannah. you didn't do anything wrong, there wasn't a lot to judge you on. next, elliana. you were in a duet. you didn't win. second is the first to lose. next, judge gia. it was good, but not good enough. next, sarah. you took elliana's place to learn the duet. you were the swing and did good. on the second row, mikki."

i only felt the tiniest tinge of surprise.

"you did well. but mikki, you already know i expect more from you. i expect you to dance like a broadway kid. i want you to be as good as you can be and more."

in other words, she wants perfection.

"next, pressley. i thought you did an amazing job, but i still need to see improvement in your feet and your flexibility. we have lilly. even the very last step off the stage, you were in character. and kamryn is at the top of our pyramid because she won. that's more than i could say for the duet.

"this week i will be tougher and meaner than ever because we are competing here in pittsburgh attending ignite dance live. every studio out there wants to beat us. it is important that we walk in there representing the legacy of the aldc. we have the added factor of a guest this week."

no. not again. please...no guests...

"i've invited jojo here."

no way. i gasped. yes guests, please guests!

the moms all clapped.

"jojo is coming to inspire our soloists. the solos are jojos solos. they're not just the solos the way jojo did them. they're jojo's solos on crack."

i could feel my hunger coming back. i wanted a jojo solo and i wanted to prove that i wasn't just a pretty contemporary lyrical dancer. i could do anything.

"elliana will be performing a solo. lilly will be performing a solo. but we also have a trio."

as far as i knew (i'd watched all episodes of dance moms with connor several times) jojo had only two trios - kalani and kendall with abby's angels and golden girls with maddie and kendall.

"but that will come later."

i hate cliffhangers.

"this week the group routine is inspired by the bermuda triangle. it is a place where people disappear and are never heard from again. kinda like some members of the team."

savvy. kammy. brady.

"but one of the dancers are back."

savvy? kammy? brady?

the door opened. and it was him.

he was taller, brighter-eyed, happier but it was him. screams and cheers erupted as brady walked in. i just stood with my mouth wide open, staring at him, hardly daring to believe it. the rest of the girls were all over him, hugging him and clapping with excitement. he stared straight at me and opened his arms. i ran over and hugged him.

and to my relief he was solid. solid, dependable brady, back from his break.

"i missed you," he said. i just nodded. my throat seemed to be far away. we all

"and we also have someone new."

my stomach dropped.

"please welcome connor padley!"

my mouth dropped.

connor?