TAWAKKUL

3. Not Contact, But Contract!

I rose from the bed in angst.

Azlan probably couldn't understand why I was reacting so strongly. He got up and came towards me. Once again he tried keeping his palms over my shoulders but I pushed them away.

"Stop the drama already, Azlan!! Why are you pretending to be so caring and empathetic? Weren't you going to tell me that you weren't interested in marrying me and that this marriage won't be as great as as I thought it would be?!"

Azlan stood baffled .

" Tawakkul... I... I was... " he stuttered.

" I know everything Azlan. You don't have to cover up anything anymore. You can spit out the truth already. " I said with a fire in my eyes.

" Who told you? "

I faked a laugh.

"Don't worry, Fariha didn't tell me anything. It's just that I happened to overhear your sweet chat with her during the mehndi ceremony."

I heard those words at the mehndi ceremony when Fariha forcefully pulled Azlan into a room in order to vent her built up anger.

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"How can you marry that ugly b**** Azlan ?! How?! Your mom had been giving me hopes all these years only to eventually humiliate me by getting you married to some darkened piece of s***? All of you cheated me!!!" barked Fariha.

" It's not up to me anymore Fariha. In Fact I wasn't even allowed to make a decision. Moreover I never promised you. Neither did I love you, nor am I interested to marry Tawakkul. But I can't help it. And please don't talk about this topic anymore." said Azlan.

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" Surprised? Only if she'd chosen someone else's room and not the room which I stayed in, everything would've been different right now. But it's told right , *They plan, and Allah plans, surely Allah is the best of planners.* And so the truth is out. "

" It's not what you think it is, Tawakkul. You're just assuming based on what you heard. I'm sure you think I'm in love with Fariha or something. But no. That's not how it is. "

" Why did you marry me then, Azlan? Why did you trap us into a loveless marriage? "

Until now, Azlan heard whatever I said with some sort of guilt reflecting in his eyes. But the moment I asked him why did he trap us into a marriage, he was piqued by my words .

Looking straight into my eyes, he said,

" I can ask you the same question! Why did you marry me even though you knew I wasn't ready for the marriage? Why didn't you come and ask me? Why didn't you call off the marriage? Aren't you equally guilty? I'd been thinking I was at fault the whole time but no! It turns out that the ever so self reliant, independent and femist Tawakkul couldn't call off a marriage with a guy who didn't want to marry her! "

I looked at him in disbelief.

" Why are you looking at me like that? As far as I remember from the college days, you never succumbed to hindrances coming in front of you. You always said you would never ask a guy for help if you could solve a problem yourself. You were always self reliant. You did everything alone God damn it! You know, I used to hate your guts at times back then. But I also admired you when I compared you to other girls who went behind guys for money and attention. And that is why I'm so surprised Tawakkul. Why did you agree on getting married to me? What happened to the proud neurosurgeon that you were ? " barked Azlan.

" Should I even be surprised at the fact that you're questioning me instead of yourself? You were always like that Azlan. Never tried to understand the person standing in front of you. You were always right in your opinion. But you know what? I don't care to give you an explanation. Because I know you won't understand. And as far as I know you, you won't give me your reason either. "

" I married you because I had no choice Tawakkul!"

" Do you think I had any? "

Both of us looked at each other trying to get answers.

Seeing the despair in my eyes, Azlan quickly turned his face away.

"Since you know everything already, it would be easier to set up the contract." said Azlan with a determined tone.

"Contract?"

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NOTE : A Mehndi ceremony is a pre wedding event in Indian culture when the bride has the red-orange mehndi "stain" applied to her palms, back of hands, and feet. Guests can often opt to have henna applied, though less elaborate than the bride's.

The line said by Tawakkul,
*They plan, and Allah plans, surely Allah is the best of planners*
is a verse from the Holy Quran. (8:30)

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