Encounter

6. Before That

I don't know why I am having such an attraction for him. I don't know why I am happy to be around. He is still stuck in his past but somehow he is comfortable with me too. I can't wait to listen to more of his stories. How stupid I am to leave the purse. I would have been talking to him right now. I miss him already. This trip brought me closer to him. I remember the day, I first saw him. I remember how dumb was I. Forgetting my card that also on the first day. I was running as if the food would be devoured by everyone and there would be nothing left for me. When he was at the door, as soon as he held his card above the scanner I ran. It was like he was opening my doors of opportunity. I didn't even look back, maybe I was embarrassed, maybe I was running for food or maybe it was meant to be. I remembered him and noticed him, maybe because I embarrassed myself in front of him. I remember Nimesh Dai was with him but I don't know why I noticed him. Maybe because in a garden of flowers, you pick the rose, that rose, you like the most. Maybe he was rose and maybe I was attracted. Everything was just normal. At first, I used to take a glance to see him as much I could but with time he just became a colleague from a different team. After a few months, there was the office's annual day. I don't know why I dressed up very well, maybe because I was a girl. I hadn't had him in my mind for very long. But that day I saw him, again he was my rose in the garden. I went near them with Ishita, my best friend in the office. 

Ishita greeted, "Hello, Kshitij. Hello, Roshan, hi Hrishab. Where's Vandy?"

Hrishab replied, "Over there" pointing right through me. I was nervous, then I turned back to find Vandy with Sandip Dai, our manager. Every one of them complimented us. But he wasn't speaking. So, Ishita asked him in a teasing tone, "Aren't you gonna say anything? Hrishu"

"Beautiful!" he replied without wasting any time.

Thats it, I wanted more, but all he said was beautiful. I was talking to myself in my head, "I know that already. Just compliment me better."

We all then went on to have some food and talked. He didn't speak much and It was odd for me to talk to those guys, as I had never talked with them before. Ishita was familiar with them as she was also a trainee. We all talked and danced together and enjoyed the show.The day went too fast but I loved every moment, capturing his every facial change. After that, we went home, and within a few days, I was back to normal. One day I found some bug in the code while developing. I traced that and found it was due to Hrishab's commitment. I gathered some courage and texted him in a very formal way. 

He replied and I had to show him some demonstration to replicate the loophole. We talked about the office work for a while. We had 2 to 3 hrs talk to fix the bug but with time we started just to talk other than the office. We would call and just do our work at home too. After that, we became closer. I don't know, how, from being a formal colleague to having a casual voice call, we started to meet and have fun more often. We started going canteen together and I started to hang out with another bunch too. 

One day, I heard our office was planning for a recreational tour and I knew Hrishab and the other two were going and I asked Ishita if she was going. She didn't want to go on any recreational tour, she had already planned to go to India with the tour's money and leave balance. I told her that I would have to cancel the plan. She asked me to go with the boys but I was uncomfortable to say yes. But out of nowhere, Hrishab called me and asked if I wanted to go with them. I was very happy and excited. Without even any second thoughts, I agreed. Later I found out Ishita was the one who made him call me. I later found out that, they were planning to go to Chitwan. I was very excited to tour them in my hometown.

 After a few days, we left the office. I was very excited about the trip but when we reached Muglin, I found out the road was blocked and Vandy was insisting on going to Chitwan. But Hrishab was silent. They were arguing like a child. I knew about the connection between Hrishab and the city of Pokhara, Ishita used to tell a lot about the guys. I knew his past, I knew he was stuck with her, still. I knew he needed someone to get him out of the misery. But I didn't want to be that one because more often the feelings and attraction coming out of that would be owing to sympathy. So I had to act cool and try to attract the Smriti I was. And yes I didn't want to sound desperate too. But I couldn't stop myself and talked Vandy out of it and made everyone and him agree to go Pokhara. 

Vandy wasn't happy but Hrishab was confident it was just for some time. I would take every chance to get him alone with me I wanted to know about him. I wanted to know his heart. Although, we talked very often I never dared to talk about his past. He was also refusing to share. Even while going to buy wines, I constantly looked at him, while he was storytelling his past. I was so lost, that I was willing that the road to the liquor shop would never end. But after having some beer, he just wasn't with us. He was constantly staring at his phone. Probably, he was looking at Prakriti's photo. I hated this attitude. It has already been more than 4 years and he is still stuck in that cave. On the verge of finding a way through the cave, he is constantly traveling in. I just wanted to remind him, that there's no end to this cave but the further you go farther you have to travel back to get out of it, only if you realize. I know I have nothing to do with life, but I have everything to care about him.

 He went to bed very soon. He was lying in front of me but I couldn't see his face. After a few drinks, Vandy started apologizing to me. Probably, he was drunk. He started to shout out loud how he didn't want Hrishab to be in Pokhara. He spits out the truth that he is still stuck with Prakriti's memories. I wasn't shocked but deep down I felt pity for him. He was in deep sleep maybe. I wanted to intercept his dreams and make him realize how stupid will he think of himself when he gets out of this and looks back at this time. He might regret this, looking back the memory lane but I have my rose with me and this rose is still in the plant, I could never pick it up. The next morning I woke up too early, I couldn't hit their door. I just thought of enjoying the sun. I saw him sneaking, seeing him my mouth widened and I smiled. 

Early morning looking at the sun, coming up, alone, wasn't that pleasant. I wanted him to stay with me. But he had a different plan. I knew I wasn't part of it but I wanted to be. I did hesitate to ask him to take me with him. I just love how pleasant my morning turned out to be. I hope I could hear him all day just talking, narrating his story, just creating a memory with me whilst dissolving the past. I might be wrong here, but I want him to spit everything he had and the only thing he could be doing is embracing the present, which has me. 

It's been so long, I just can't wait for him anymore. Maybe I should go back. Maybe he is having trouble of some sort. I was plastering my thoughts with different "maybes." I went there. I couldn't find him around the cafe we were in before. I went inside and saw my purse lying there alone. I picked that up and gestured to the man at the counter. When I got out, I was stunned. I saw Hrishab talking to a girl, who was holding her daughter's hand. The way they were taking so long to respond and the way they were surprised to talk to each other. 

I guessed she was Prakriti. 

I didn't know why but my heart started to pump faster than normal. I was blown away. I stood there for more than 2 min, without even shaking. We had no relation but I don't know why I was sad. Whatever goods came into my mind before they all flushed away. All I could think was, I had to let him go. 

They gestured their hands to say goodbye and Hrishab was about to enter the cafe but he saw me standing still with the purse he was here to pick. I wasn't sure how should I react. I had many questions, he must have prepared many stories but we both were silent, already for 40 seconds. This was a long time. He must be startled to see me and even though he wasn't into me. I knew he was afraid to talk first. I knew I had to talk first. 

Before saying anything I smiled and asked, "Was she Prakriti?"

We have a few people in life we care for the most. Often, we like their goods and restructure their bad. We push them up when they fall and we cheer them up when they are sad. These are the people, in front of whom we could smile while just to make them comfortable whilst hanging stones in our hearts.