Chapter Thirty-Nine

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Demi held Kesha's limp, boney hand as she slept. Her exhausted body was sprawled out over Kesha.

She hadn't left the hospital since Kesha had been admitted, so was extremely tired.

Samantha, Jackie, baby Dylan, Monica, Richard and Ryan had all come to visit Kesha. Kesha's parents didn't come though.

The doctors and nurses had all asked about them, but Demi never knew what to tell them.

What would she say; 'they're not here because they don't care about their own daughter'? No, that wouldn't achieve anything.

All Demi could do was sit by Kesha's side and wait.

Kesha wasn't always completely unconscious, but so far she hadn't ever actually opened her eyes or seem to be able to comprehend anything that was going on around her.

This scared Demi. She didn't know what to do. These episodes where happening less and less frequently, but that also meant that Kesha was unconscious more and more!

Kesha began to stir, shifting beneath Demi. This woke up Demi, but she didn't move.

"No," she thought sleepily. "Not again... I'm too tired for another episode."

Suddenly, she felt someone squeeze her hand weakly. That hadn't happened before!

Demi's head shot up and she leant over Kesha, a mixture of fear and hope filling her face.

"Kesha? Wake up, baby, it's Demi. I'm here," she said hurriedly.

Kesha scrunched her eyelids tightly shut, blocking out the light.

As it was night, the only light was from her open curtains and the hallway light that was seeping in from the window on the door.

A scratchy gargling sound came from Kesha's dry lips. It sounded like she had been gargling nails!

"Oh here, honey. Have some water," Demi said. She quickly pushed a bottle to Kesha's mouth.

After two big mouthfuls, Kesha moved her head away.

"The...light..." She croaked again, this time forcing words out. "It's...too...bright..."

Demi jumped into action, closing the blinds and hanging her jacket up on the hook over the door to block out any light.

Finally, Kesha forced her eyes open.

"Well," she mumbled. "Whoops..."

Demi stared at Kesha in silent horror for a moment, barely able to process Kesha's words.

"WHOOPS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" She practically screamed.

"Shh!" Kesha protested. "I have a headache!"

"You're lucky you have a headache! You could be dead, Kesha! DEAD!" Demi cried, waving her arms around in exasperation. 

"Well, darling, that was the idea." Kesha shot back lazily.

Demi was about to retaliate, when her eyes locked on Kesha's. Kesha looked away, not being able to handle eye contact, but it was long enough.

Demi hadn't seen sarcastic, stubborn Kesha. She had seem vulnerable, scared Kessie. She saw the girl silently begging her to stop, praying that Demi wouldn't become her parents.

Demi sighed defeatedly and gently shoved Kesha over on the bed, sliding in next to her.

Kesha, for once, didn't object and even let Demi wrap an arm around her.

"You want to watch TV?" Demi suggested softly. Kesha nodded, so Demi flicked it on. "Anything you fancy? They've got loads of movies."

"It's A Wonderful Life," Kesha said almost silently. "Please?"

Demi nodded and searched for it. She remembered that it had always been Kesha's favorite movie as a child.

"DemDem?" Kessie cooed, tugging at Demi's arm as they sat on the sofa watching TV.

"Yes, Kessie?" Demi sighed. This was the thousandth time Kesha had interrupted the movie to ask her something, yet she was the one begging to have it on!

"Why are those people kissing?" She asked pointing at two of the main characters in It's A Wonderful Life.

"That's George and Mary, you know that. They're kissing because they're in love, dummy!" Demi laughed, poking Kessie gently.

"But he was yelling. Daddy and Mummy yell or kiss, not both!" Kessie protested.

"He doesn't want to love her, he just does. That makes him mad," Demi explained.

"Is that why Mummy and Daddy yell at me? They don't want to love me?" Kessie asked softly, tears briming her eyes.

"I don't know, baby girl... I'm not old enough to know yet apparently," she grumbled. "Maybe ask Mum or Dallas later."

Kessie nodded and they carried on watching the film. Near the end of the film, Demi noticed that Kessie was crying.

"Oh no, what's wrong?" She asked worriedly.

"That man cried for his wife and his children," Kessie said. "He hugs them lots and won't let them go. He keeps kissing the pretty womans face. Daddy doesn't ever do that. Doesn't he love us like that nice man loves his family?"

Demi felt her heart break for her little cousin. It just wasn't fair.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and quickly pulled Kessie into a tight hug. "So sorry..."

Kessie carried on crying into Demi's shoulder, but kept her eyes on the TV.

"I wish I was apart of that family. I wish they were my Mummy and Daddy," she whispered into Demi's hair.

As Kesha watched the movie, she felt the familiar longing to be sucked right up into the film and into the arms of George and Mary.

In her eyes, they were what a family was supposed to be like and it was something she had always longed for.

Demi was more interested in watching Kesha than the film. It wasn't really like watching Kesha at all, more like watching little Kessie all over again.

"You still want to be apart of that family?" She asked finally, breaking the silence.

Kesha looked up at her, surprised that Demi even remembered.

"Don't be stupid," she whispered harshly. "That stuff's for babies."

"That doesn't mean we can't want it too," Demi replied. "Everyone wants the perfect family, Kesha. Not just you. It's okay to want that too."

"Fine," Kesha signed. "Maybe I did used to dream about George Bailey from It's A Wonderful Life finding me about to jump and becoming my angel. Maybe I did dream about Mary Bailey rocking my gently in her arms whilst she sang me to sleep. Maybe I did used to dream about playing with the children and being apart of their family. But it's never going to happen, is it? It's not real, it's just a film. Perfect families don't exist..."

Demi felt tears prick her eyes she listened to Kesha open up to her.

She wished she could give Kesha her perfect life so badly...

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