Regret Me!

Chapter 8

" ALICE!! Could you at least fucking help me with the damn bags."

Instead of replying to his royal bitchiness, I turn to face the house that brought so many dark memories. The house, that was supposed to provide me comfort and acceptance but instead gave me isolation and humiliation. It stood out enough to make anyone stop and stare in amazement as they lay their eyes on the beauty. It captured your attention and encouraged the temptation of wanting to take a peak at what lays beyond those bricked walls but what you would imagine, would be the complete opposite of it's reality. You've never truly felt alone until your inside those walls inside contained a cold atmosphere that suffocates you and I know I might now have to feel that same atmosphere now that I'm their "luna". Cue in the eye roll.

I knew that we haven't completed the mating ritual, it's obvious things would change. Their wouldn't be anymore beatings, there wouldn't be anymore insult and I know this should make me satisfied but I'm not. You CANNOT treat me as less then a human being and expect me to just forgive you because of the title I never fucking wanted. The feeling of being lost never could escape my heart and facing this house that stood for everything that was wrong in my life just made me want to take a sliver bullet and shoot it through my heart.

Why couldn't I've died in place of my mother.

A soft whimper fell on my ears from behind me. As I turned I saw him looking at me with such sadness and anger in his soft forest eyes. " Alice don't you dare say such things. As your mate i forbid you from uttering those words, I know it's been hard for you. I know I can't make up for the past but please let's make a new beginning.....please Blue." He sounded so desperate it almost made me forgive him but the reality was nothing could take away this pain how do you come back from everything. I couldn't move on even if I tried but the desperation in his eyes and that lingers in his voice it almost shattered my heart. Almost.

How do you reply to this? I just couldn't deal with it. I shook my head and entered the house facing my pack members standing in front of the door with expressions shame and regret taking place on their faces and they spoke in unison " we're sorry Luna"

I don't know if it was the fact that today was just so overwhelming but the sadness that took places in my heart turned to anger . " How dare you come near me! How fuckin-
" Please just hear us out" one of the pack members say as she tries to approach me.

If you come near me I'll kill you and I won't regret a damn thing" I felt my eyes flashing bright red as I stare at these fucking savages.
" You will NOT threaten your PACK members Alice, apologize now!!" Blake growls.

" Oh you want me to apologize." I see him nod his head in confirmation clearly pleased with my submission. Think again buddy! " I AM SOOO VERY FUCKING SORRY that you pathetic ass dogs exist! I am sorry that you have no fucking heart and most importantly I am sorry for myself because I have to deal with you fucking shit heads. If anyone of you come near me I will fucking hurt you and that's a fucking PROMISE. " The growls that erupted through the house would make anyone cower in fear of being killed but I for one could not have given less of a shit. " SCREW YOU AND SCREW YOUR WHOLE FUCKING BULLSHIT APOLOGIES because I don't want it. You don't get to abuse someone in every way fucking possible, you don't get to receive forgiveness for turning your head and pretending it never happened and you don't get to have the guilt that your feeling for NOT doing what every FUCKING PACK IS MEANT TO DO which is protect their fucking LUNA. YOUR what every kid fears when their little, a monster. You made me feel so much pain! I WISH I WERE DEAD every second of every day because of what you put me through and you just come up here and apologize and expect me to be like ' hey guys all is forgiven let's sit on the couch and watch fucking SPONGEBOB like nothing happened' think again because if I have to relive those moment every time I close my shitting eyes you don't get to go to sleep guilt free. Realize if you weren't such fucking assholes I wouldn't have gone through that shit and we wouldn't be having this conversation. I've went through so much and I'm still going through hell because of you. I may be your leader but I want you to know just how much I hate every single one of you step for the children cause they didn't do jack shit. FUCK YOU PEOPLE IM TAKING A NAP!!" I hadn't realized that tears had begun to fall at some point during my rant, I begin to wipe them away as Blake's pack members stare with shocked and pained faces. Good. They deserve it, they deserve every bit of pain.
I might sound horrible but i have to live with what they've done and what am I supposed to do ease their pain no I won't.

I know I may have been a little harsh but it's what they deserved. I have to live with their actions then so do they, I won't let them forget and I'll never forgive.