Just One More Step

Part 3

By the way a lot of this book is going to be in Izuku's POV because that is the way that I have planned it to be.

Denki's POV

I was starting to worried for Izuku, but I knew that in the long shot that this might be able to help him. After this, he might start getting better and becoming happy not a fake happy but a real and true kind of happy. When he finished the third song, I knew that there were going to be a lot of poems. I looked him in the eyes as I could both see and feel the tears that were threatening to fell on both his and my face. Looking into his eye also made me blush, yes I was Gay, yes I had a crush on him. When I brought myself out of my thoughts Izuku was still looking at me but, was also blushing. 'Does he have a crush one me?' I put myself back into my thoughts.

Izuku's POV

I looked over to Denki who was starting to worry about me. I could see the tears that were threatening to fall on his face and I could feel the ones on my face. When I was looking in his eyes, I started to blush because this was the man that I liked and that I wanted to be with. I took one more deep breath and then started with all nine of my poems which each on after the other -

"The Monster -

Dear Anxiety,

When they ask me what I am afraid of,
I lie.

I can never expose you,
never tell the truth about you
for fear of speaking you into existence.
You are my punisher and my captor,
my tormentor, my torturer.
You are the little voice inside of my head
telling me bad, bad things to do to myself,
things I can't talk about
for fear I'll forget who I am and turn into you.

You tell me we are one and the same, but I am not you.
I would never hurt a child the way you have hurt me.
I would never tell a young boy, he is unlovable,
or fat,
or ugly,
or crazy,
or worthless.

I would never tell him to carve ugly, terrible words into his body,
to hold a flame to his skin,
until he has burned himself so badly that the pain goes out like a light
and his nerves are dead,
just like he should be.

I don't know why I listen to you
when you force me to my knees in front of the toilet.
When you send me running around the house in a panic,
searching in vain for a pencil sharpener I haven't already dismantled.
When you tell me the closest to love
I will ever come is sending naked pictures of myself
to disgusting hunters of young prey.

But I am not afraid of them.
I am afraid of the shadows of my mind
of the twisted and warped reality I am living in.

And I scream, because it is all in my head.
I scream because none of it is real.
I scream because you are clawing your way up my throat,
stealing my voice, gouging out my eyes, eating away at the lining of my stomach,
turning my bones to jello and my hair to dust,
destroying, destroying, destroying, destroying, destroying, destroying.

ENOUGH.

I have had ENOUGH. I am not you.
I never was.
I never will be.
This is only a body, and you are only a feeling, and I will rise above.

I am above this, above you, above my thoughts, above it all.
And I will survive.
And I will love me.
And I will not let go.

Sincerely,
Izuku

Silent Screams -

Can't you hear my silent screams?
They are so loud they echo in my dreams.

Behind this face that carries a smile
Lies a dark road that goes on mile after mile.

My silent screams have been going on for years,
But it always falls on so many deaf ears.

How can they hear these silent screams in my mind?
They can't hear my thoughts if I keep telling them I'm fine.

What can I tell them? These silent screams carry no words.
It's just feelings of sadness and darkness that come in its herds.

How can I explain so people understand this?
It's like walking around in a suffocating black mist.

It's holding on to happiness like holding water in your hands.
It just trickles between your fingers and disappears into the sands.

I can't explain how this feels; it's so extreme,
So I hold my mouth shut to cover my silent screams.