Saved By Steven (the first story)

32. Hello again.

Soon enough her dealer arrived, like he always did. A handoff. A whispered exchange. Lauren shoved the cash into his palm and slipped the baggie into her jacket pocket. No one noticed. No one seemed to care that she disappeared. 

The bathroom was the same one as before—the stall with the lock that clicked like a promise. A perfect place to fall apart. Nobody knew you were there as the doors closed entirely. 

She didn't waste time. Joint first. A deep drag. Smoke filling her lungs, her head, her chest. But the rage didn't leave. Not this time. Steven.Why now?

Why the fuck now?

The needle came next. Her hands shook so badly she jabbed twice before hitting the vein. The rush was instant, hot and cruel and familiar. She slumped against the wall, head tipping back.

Steven fucking Tyler. Coming back here after months of silence, after leaving her to rot in that place. He didn't even tell her he was on tour. Didn't write. Didn't call. 
Now he's on the radio saying he wants to visit?
Visit her like a charity case? Like some project he abandoned but feels guilty about now?

Lauren finished, wiped the blood, and stared in the mirror.
Her eyes were red, wild.
Her face ghost-white, except for the bruised crescents under her eyes.
She shoved on her sunglasses and walked out like nothing happened.

Most teachers were at lunch, laughing too loud. A few were on the field playing soccer. Lauren spotted Mick and Tom near the bleachers. They looked happy with their cigarettes in hand and smiles on their faces. She walked up. Tom grinned and threw an arm around her. She needed the weight of him, even if it meant nothing.

They watched the game for a while. Lauren took the cigarette from Tom's lips and smoked it to the filter without looking at him. He didn't flinch. He was used to her moods. The others noticed. She didn't care.
"You good?" Tom asked finally, sitting next to her on the grass.
"Fine," she muttered.
"You look pale. You eat today?"
"No."
End of conversation. She didn't want words. Didn't want food. Didn't want this.

Tom exchanged a look with Mick and walked off. Lauren didn't move. Didn't blink. The match ended, whistles blowing in the distance like alarms.

"She's off again Mick." Tom whispered as he found his friend talking to the headmaster. "I think you need to see her."
Mick excused himself and walked with Tom. "What do you think is going on?"
"I don't know. She won't talk, eat, nothing. It might have something to do with Steven coming back or maybe drugs."
"She said she wasn't doing drugs."
"Well, you know her. She can be sneaky as fuck."
"I know."

Mick came back with Tom, both crouching down like cops trying to talk a jumper off a ledge."Laur," Mick said softly. "Talk to me.""About what?" She kept her sunglasses on."What's going on?""Nothing.""Is it Steven?"That name hit like a slap. She flinched. Mick saw it. Pressed."Because if it is—""It's not," she cut him off, sharp. Her voice cracked like glass. "Don't say his name.""Baby, please. This is how you crashed last time—shutting us out, lying. Be honest with me. Are you high? Are you scared because he's coming back? Just tell me. I won't judge you.""Fine." Lauren tore off her sunglasses and threw them into the grass. Her pupils were blown, her skin gray. She didn't have to answer.Mick's jaw clenched. He knew. And that was it—his face, that look of disappointment. It was a match to gasoline.

"Don't you fucking look at me like that." Her voice was low, dangerous.
"Laur—"
"No. Don't you dare." She shot to her feet, fists balled. "You think you know me? You think you're
my goddamn keeper?"
"Lauren, calm down—"
"Calm down? Calm DOWN?" She laughed, sharp and broken. "You don't know what it's like to wake up every day wanting to rip your skin off. You don't know what it's like to claw your way through rehab while everyone you love forgets you exist."
Mick reached for her arm. She yanked it back like he burned her.
"Don't touch me!"
Teachers were staring now. She didn't care. Her voice rose like a siren.
"You all think I'm better? You think I'm fixed? I'm not fucking fixed! I'm duct tape on a bullet wound, Mick! And now—NOW—he decides to come back?! After leaving me there like a fucking dog?!"
"Who?" Tom whispered, but Mick already knew. Steven.Lauren's head snapped toward the sound of footsteps.

Hello, Doll."
Steven.
That voice. That easy drawl like nothing had happened. Like months of silence didn't exist. 
Lauren froze. Heart punching her ribs. The world narrowed until it was just Steven and the rage roaring in her ears.
"You've got to be kidding me," she hissed. "You—" Her voice broke. "You have the fucking nerve—"
"Lauren—"
"No. NO." She stormed toward him, finger stabbing the air. "Don't you dare say my name like you still own it."
"I just wanted to see you—"
"See me? SEE ME? Where the fuck were you when I was puking blood on a bathroom floor? Where the fuck were you when I begged for a visit and they told me you were on tour? Huh?!"
"Baby, listen—"
"Don't call me that! Don't you dare fucking call me that!" Her voice cracked, raw, sharp enough to draw blood. "You don't get to waltz back in here like some goddamn savior. You left me. You LEFT ME."

His face fell. For once, Steven Tyler was speechless. Joe had arrived too and knowing better, Joe walked around the group, so that if Lauren would run, he would catch her. Steven on the other hand walked straight towards her.
"You think I wanted this?" she screamed. "You think I wanted to run into a bathroom today and shoot up just to breathe?! Because YOU came back?! You broke me, Steven. And now you want to fix me? Too fucking late."

Lauren tried to run but bumped into Joe. He just held her arm, firm so she wouldn't leave. She didn't put up a struggle.

Joe please, I need to go. I can't breathe here. Please, let me go. She begged him in a tiny voice. He saw in her eyes she wanted him to let her go. It broke his heart, even after all the nasty tricks she pulled on him. "I can't baby. I know you know that."

Her knees buckled.
She dropped like a stone, air tearing from her lungs.
Mick and Tom moved fast, but she shoved them off, crawling backward.

"Don't touch me!" Tears blurred everything. "Just—just stay away—"
"Lauren," Steven said softly, crouching in front of her like before. "Please. Just breathe with me."
She sobbed, shaking her head. "I hate you," she whispered. "I fucking hate you for making me love you."

Her body gave out. Joe caught her before her head hit the pavement. Steven knelt, his hand trembling as he brushed hair from her face.
"Goddammit," he murmured. "I'm not losing you again."