Damnit it Hurts

-Chapter 1-

Click

Click

Clickclickclickclickcli-

"Dude, can you please stop." Hanta groaned, sending an annoyed yet playful look at Denki.

The electric user was playing with his clicking pen. It was so satisfying, he couldn't stop. Was he addicted to a pen?

Denki let out a little laugh and tried to spin the pen in his slightly shaking hands. No one except the boy had noticed the trembles that seemed never let his hands remain still.

The 'Bakusquad' was currently seated on the floor of Katsuki's dorm. The group helping each other study for the end of year exams.

Well, all except for a certain yellow haired boy who was playing with his pen.

He had tried his hardest to get some work done, however, apparently his brain had other plans. Instead he was left unable to get anything done, mind fogged and increasingly getting bored.

With a huff, Denki pushed himself off the floor. "I'll be back dudes, 'gotta go to the loo." He said with a grin, giving his signature thumbs up. "'Kay Kami-bro." Ejiro waved, not looking up from his textbook.

Denki entered Bakugo's bathroom, the cleanliness was satisfying, everything was neatly organised. Denki liked it a lot, it reminded him of his own dorm.

He glanced at himself in the mirror. He wanted to break it, never look at his ugly face again. His eyes trailed over all his imperfections, the way his jaw was slightly uneven, the barely visible freckles that didn't suit him, heck his entire face was repelling. He hated the way he looked. He was so fat, and looked disgusting.

The golden eyed boy shook his head, and teared his judging eyes away from his reflection.

Once he finished his business, he dragged himself back to his friends. Plopping down onto his pillow, he glanced at his work once again. The words seemed unreadable, gibberish that only he couldn't comprehend. It was 'kinda stupid.

He went to grab his pen, before a hand stole it from in front of him.

"Bro, no more clicking your pen. Have mine instead." Hanta frowned, handing him a simple lidded pen.

There goes his distraction.

His golden eyes skimmed back over the papers. He didn't want to be here.

Well, he wouldn't mind being here, just not doing work. He wanted to be having fun with his friends.

They weren't doing that enough recently.

Bakugo huffed, "Stupid Dunce Face." The blonde threw his notes over to Denki, not looking at the boy. This was the angry boys way of helping him.

Denki grinned, grabbing the notes. "Thanks dude!"

Bakugo only 'tsked' in response, going back to his own studying.

—————————-

It was late when they decided to call it a night, slightly after ten.

Mina yawned, pouting. "Why did we have to work for so long" She groaned, flopping onto Katsuki's bed. "I need my beauty sleep y'know."

Katsuki rolled his eyes. "Shut up Raccoon Eyes." He huffed, eye twitching.

"Calm down bro, we got a lot done! You should be proud!" Ejirou grinned, patting the explosive boys shoulder.

"Yeah! We're epic!" Denki laughed.

"Well, not really you as much, dude. You didn't do anything except copy off Bakugo's work." Hanta pointed out.

"YOU DID WHAT!" Katsuki raged.

"Shush bro, just pretend I did it." Denki said with a grin.

It hurt smiling, it hurt so much to know that none of them are real.

"'Kay dudes I'm gonna rest so my attractive self can be more beautiful!" No, I'm so ugly. "Haha, night dudes."

"Yeah, 'night bros" Ejirou yawned.

"I'm staying up too late, never again you idiots." Katsuki growled, pushing himself off the floor and laying on his bed.

"Night!" Mina waved, leaving the room.

"Night!" The others said in unison, before bursting out laughing.

"Get out."

They left, waving to each other before heading their seperate ways. Denki, made his way to his room, he never locked it, he wasn't bothered. Haha, lazy bastard.

Falling onto his bed, his smile dropped. He was so tired. Socialising drained him. But, he couldn't let anyone find out, they would be so disappointed.

But then again, who wasn't?

The electric user gripped his hair, pulling the locks with all his might. He wanted to scream, let out all the pain and guilt he felt inside.

No he couldn't, his façade would slip. The people he depended on would leave him.

So he just curled into himself and let out a silent sob.

——————-

"You're annoying!"

Denki had a good life. His parents didn't beat him, he had friends, a cat. He was selfish for complaining about the way he lived, people have it so much worse, and there he was, crying like a baby.

He was annoying, just like his parents told him. Maybe, he should just leave everyone alone, spare them from his burden.

Huh, it was funny. Everyone thought he was that happy, carefree loser. Well, he was a loser, but the rest is fake.

"Supid, idiot. That's what you are. Heck, that's all you are."

It was too true, too right, too real.

He was digging himself into a hole. He new it wouldn't help, but he deserved it.

Despite all that, Denki still held the razor against his skin. He was too weak to actually kill himself, but at least this would bring him closer to his death.

1 cut, 2 cuts, 3 cuts, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9-10-11121314151617-

How many had he done again? Denki scoffed, it's not like it mattered anyway. It doesn't make a difference.

He leaned dejectedly against the white walls of his bathroom. His too skinny fingers gently gliding up and down the edge of the razor blade. The familiar sting bringing him some peace.

He wasn't going to lie, it hurt a lot. But, it's what he wanted.

Denki leaned forward, before ramming his head back into the wall. He winced.

"Ouch.."

He wanted to stay there forever, never get up. Never breath, never see, never smell, never taste, never hear, never liveneverliveneverlive-

He slapped his cheeks, eyes squeezing shut. With a groan he pulled himself up, using the sink as a stabiliser.

Denki winced as he ran cold water over his cuts, red tinted water staining the sink. Once his cuts were clean, he pulled out the first aid kit they were required to have. He slowly wrapped a bandage over his still bleeding arm, hoping it wouldn't leak through.

With that done, he dragged his hurting body over to his bed, dropping onto the mattress with exhaustion.

His eyes fluttered closed, and he fell into a terror ridden sleep.