Phoenix Mating

July

Courtney

Today was my birthday. That was the first thought that crossed my mind as I woke up this morning. July 14th. I was currently walking around my house sipping on a cup of coffee. The summers here were a lot more intense than they were in Jersey. It also didn't help that my body ran hotter than the average person.

I was going to go to work at my second job today as a bartender at a club. It didn't pay much, but the tips that I am able to rack in help pay for gas and luxury items that I am not currently buying. I was going to put on an audiobook, but the ringing of my phone changed my plans.

"Hello mom," I said.

"Hello darling, happy birthday," My mother said. "How is everything going down there, do you miss us?"

The assault of questions, Lord have mercy.

"Thank you, I'm fine. I have work later today and that's about it."

"How are you having a birthday all by yourself?"

"I'm fine, it wasn't like I was gonna do anything up there anyway," I said walking back up front to finish my coffee.

"You don't know that, we could have done anything, but you left me up here," my mother whinnied again trying to guilt trip me once again from leaving home.

"Well, I gotta get ready for work, I'll talk to you later," I said. Once she said bye I hung up and finished my coffee.

One of the reasons that I left home was to be away from my family. It felt smothering being around my mother who thought that my entire world should revolve around her, it was too exhausting and after doing it for 24 years I decided that I needed a change. I wanted to live a life for myself and not feel like every decision I made for myself wasn't going to be a problem for my family.

That's how this move came into play. I was going to stay here for about 6 months before I decided what to do next. I really just wanted to live my life and enjoy some of my youth. I already had a pretty good feeling about this. I was making more than enough money and I was enjoying all of the alone time I was having. I probably should be using this time to make friends and extend my social circle, but I really didn't want to. I'm the oldest of three kids, but I am an introvert and I value my alone time. I don't want to overwhelm myself with new people when I'm not quite ready to nurture them to their fullest potential. I'll stick to Lee and the mentorship gatherings every 6 months, or a really low maintenance friend.

My heart started beating quicker out of nowhere and it could possibly be from the thought of how to navigate making new friends, so I sat back and did three deep breaths- relax. I went to pick up my phone since it was shaking like a stripper on my coffee table. I was getting a few text messages from my friends and family members wishing me a happy birthday and saying how much they missed me. To celebrate my birthday in my own way, I'm going to cook myself one of my favorite meals of pork barbecue ribs, seafood macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes, and green beans. It's honestly one of my favorite meals to have and make, plus it doesn't hurt that I won't have to cook for the next four days.

I smiled, getting up to go get the ribs from the fridge and the macaroni which was prepped, it just needed to be put in the oven. I pulled out the ingredients for everything else before going out the kitchen side door to set up the little grill Lee left behind. I was going to make this process as authentic as possible.

***

I was stuffer than a Thanksgiving Turkey as I drove to work. I drove with my black jeans unbuttoned letting my stomach sit free and get some air. NO REGRETS.