Dangerous Territory [Completed]

8. College Cafeteria

To make sure, the college management wanted to call Father. Why would I lie about my kidnapping? I gave them his office and personal number. Father of course told them everything, every detail as if he was reporting the case to the police, he even mentioned all the assets he had to give over. And then finally the coordinator agreed. The staff were given a holiday along with the students, so it shouldn't be expected that any one of them would be called to attend to my paper during the one week, the coordinator asserted. Hence the date was finalized for two days after the holidays. 

I couldn't be more relieved, but Ramsha whined all day, saying that I should not ditch them for the farm house plan. Plus, she said, I deserve the picnic more than anybody else. Of course, I had no plans of giving it up. In fact, I intended to divide the days, and spend the first half at the farm house and then return home to study. I told Ramsha that much, but she seemed only somewhat satisfied.

After their exam, which according to Ramsha didn't go really well and which I didn't really believe her about – she always did that and then went and got brilliant grades – we went down to the hospital cafeteria to get some snacks. She wanted me to go shopping with her, because she needed some new dresses for our time at the farm house. I agreed only half-heartedly, my mind was stuck on the predicament I had willingly set myself in. Before leaving for uni, I had retrieved Adil's number from Father's call log, while he watched me with a painstakingly helpless expression etched on his face. I couldn't for the life of me understand what turnout could be so harrowing, the fear of which had already started to take a toll on him. I hated looking at my father with it, it seemed like he was being ripped off his dignity. But I was haunted by the feeling that I had to talk to Adil and I would not get answers from anyone to questions that had taken over an unhealthily large amount of my head space. And my father knew he couldn't stop me. Therefore, telling him not to worry, and that I'd make sure nothing goes wrong, I had left.

"Are you even listening to me, hello, earth to Mashal!" 

I blinked and straightened up on the chair. 

"I'm sorry." I said timidly. 

"Hey, you guys!" 

We both turned around and saw Bilal heading towards us from the small glass entrance of the cafeteria which was currently open for only the students and the staff. To my surprise, I felt a trace of a mingled feeling of annoyance and irritation creep up to my heart. I worried he might want to talk to me and maybe confess, but today really wasn't the day I wanted to deal with this. While I was somewhat drawn by the idea that one of my oldest friends was taking an interest in me, I didn't really think I would give in. To be honest, I had never looked at Bilal like I'd someday want to go out with him, despite the fact that I had often sung the praises of his charm. I didn't really know how to turn him down without being rude. 

" 'Sup?"  

"Want to go shopping with us?" Ramsha quipped with a perk.

"Why is that even a question?" Bilal made a face that blatantly impressed upon his disgust at the idea, as he pulled out a chair beside me. 

Ramsha returned the favor.

"You okay?" He turned his attention towards me.

"Yeah." I said with a nod. 

"Hey, what about we hang out tonight, have some fun?"

"Um," I thought I should say yes, I might get a chance to turn him down there. "Sure."

---

I did not. Got to tell him the truth, I mean. He was acting super sweet and super loving and super caring, and I just felt so bad I couldn't bring myself to blurt it out. And maybe I liked it too. Even though it wasn't the first time we were out together alone, in fact we had made so many spontaneous plans and successfully executed them that I'd actually lost count. But this was different. It was awkward and somehow kind of nice too. And still Bilal didn't get to the darn point. Of course I got the hint, but you need to say it to make it real, don't you? 

Until that happened, I guessed I was safe, since we still weren't together. 

Was I playing with him though? Was I being a bitch by enjoying all this tremendous affection and attention and giving him hope that I might actually agree when he'd finally come to it? 

Maybe, yes.

But I wasn't really sure if I was going to turn him down or not. I needed more time to think things through because that night, he behaved like an ideal partner and I felt like I wouldn't meet someone like him again. 

But as enticing as this scenario was, I had other things to do. Once back home, without getting out of my formal dress, I flopped down on the couch, dialled Adil's number, pulled in a long breath and brought the phone to my ear.

He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey, Uncle Sahir. Felt like groveling or something?" He sounded cheerful, more than I'd thought him capable of. I thought he was one of those brooding types who didn't know how to stretch up a smile on their faces. 

I couldn't believe though, that after taking the peace of our lives away, that too by blatant deceit, he could be content and satisfied as much as he sounded. "It's me, actually. Mashal." I spoke in clipped tones.

There was a long pause at the other side, before he finally spoke up. "What do you want?" 

"I know everything."

"Wow, what a wonderful declaration." He scoffed. 

"You're a despicable asshole, do you know that?" I was seething at his sarcasm. "You freaking lied to me, you kept things from me you didn't want me to know! What did you think, that I'd never find out what actually happened? You're a manipulative scoundrel! You made me believe Father was some, I don't know, fraudster or something." 

"Yeah? Let's see who's actually a liar. Tell me, Mashal, did he tell you our fathers are step brothers?" 

I almost dropped the phone. I felt as if I'd been knocked out of breath. 

"Judging by your silence, I assume he didn't. Now, who's a manipulative scoundrel? Speak up, would you not? My father, Mashal, was an illegitimate child. Why don't you go and ask your father for answers instead of needlessly shitting at me?" 

He hung up, the beep of the disconnection rang in my ears and reverberated around my skull. It felt like a brutal strike. I stared wide eyed and unblinking at the blurred bedpost. 

Father had based our lives on lies. What else was he hiding?

"No, you don't. You know nothing about your father, Mashal." The sentence haunted me through the night and I didn't know at what point I dozed off, and when I woke up my head was pounding yet again.

Taking a disprin, I changed, took the bag I had prepared and trudged down the stairs. Bisma was already there, and at my sight she jumped up from the dining chair and came to give me a hug.

"I hope you have a wonderful time." 

I couldn't smile, not even for her. It just felt like an impossible feat. 

She pulled away and grinned at me. 

"You be safe on the trip, okay?" I said, remembering she would be leaving for the northern areas with her college group. 

"Obvio." She rolled her eyes. "Something wrong though?" She added as an afterthought. 

"No." I tried again to smile, but I was sure my face instead twisted into a grimace. "I better get going."

"Breakfast?" Her eyebrows arched up.

"Nah, we'd be stopping at some dhaba."

"Cool. So wait for father then, he'd just-" 

"No, that won't be necessary. I'm only going for five days for heaven's sake." I muttered sulkily. 

"Oh." She said backing away. 

With a sigh, I turned to leave.