Where You Least Expect It...

...How You Least Expect It

Lizzie had been nervous after Grace's visit.

Seeing the woman that Tommy had loved in the house that he had bought her- the house Lizzie now lived in- it had shaken her. Even with Ada and Esme and Arthur and Pol lined up in support of her. Even with Tommy's eyes locked on her- only seeing her. Even knowing how much Tommy Shelby loved her, Lizzie couldn't help but look over her shoulder. For weeks she held Ruby tighter. As if someone- as if Grace- would come and snatch her away. For weeks she fucked Tommy harder, faster, wilder- using tricks she remembered from boyfriends she wished she could forget.

But things had settled. Tommy had grabbed her hand one day, pulled her into his arms and kissed her. For no reason. 'I fucking love you, Lizzie Stark. Hm? It's like a fucking...I don't know. You're like air or water or a cigarette on a bad day. Can't do without you, Liz. Don't want to.' And maybe he'd known she was worried. Maybe he'd seen the way her body tensed when a blond approached him in the street or in a restaurant. But it didn't feel like it. It felt honest and spontaneous and true- the kind of true that was too deep for anything to tarnish.

So she'd relaxed. She'd learned to breathe easy again. She went shopping with Ada and Esme and left Ruby with the nanny instead of keeping her close. She fucked Tommy hard and fast and used her tricks until he was clinging to her and whispering her name the way she liked. But she made love to him again, too. Slow and gentle- letting the pleasure build and fade again and again until they were both blissfully destroyed at the end. She'd let herself get comfortable.

She should have known it wouldn't last.

He'd been acting strangely lately. Taking more and more private calls. Staying out late at night when he was usually home in time for supper. His kisses were distracted little things more often than not. Unless they were fucking. She could still hold all his attention when she was wrapped tight around his cock. But she'd lived this life before. She knew the signs. And it was tearing her up inside because she'd let herself fall for it- fall for him.

She didn't tell anyone her fears at first. She knew the Shelby crew. They loved her- they'd take her fucking side. But that was the problem, wasn't it? She couldn't turn his family against him. Grace had done that well enough simply by marrying Tommy. Lizzie didn't want to reopen a rift that had only recently mended. So she smiled- though it didn't quite reach her eyes as often. And she laughed- forced though it was. And she enjoyed the weight of Tommy's hand holding her and the warmth of his smile. Because it'd be gone soon.

She wanted the memories while she could get them.

~*~

It was Ada that she ended up telling.

They were sitting in Lizzie's little study, when Ada'd asked, "Hey, Lizzie? Do you know who Tatiana Petrovna is?" Lizzie flinched. She didn't- not really. But she knew the name. She hated the fucking name. But she schooled her expression into slight confusion and shook her head. "Huh. Thought you might. Tommy's been meeting with her for lunch the last few weeks." Lizzie swallowed hard, her nails digging into her palms. "Won't say shit, of course. Fucking secretive, always has been."

But Lizzie was barely listening. She'd known he called her, the Tatiana woman. She'd been angry and stupid drunk and Tommy had left his phone when he and Ruby had gone for their Daddy/Daughter Date. So she'd gone through his contacts. There were two new ones that she could tell right off: Alfie Solomons and Tatiana Petrovna. And he'd called Tatiana every single day for three weeks straight.

Ada's hand came to rest on her arm. The sudden touch jerked Lizzie out of her thoughts. "You went somewhere. Want to tell me about it?" Lizzie opened her mouth to say 'no', but Ada cut in. "And don't bother saying 'no', because you've got tears in your eyes." Despite how much she was hurting, Lizzie couldn't help but smile. Ada never let her hide anything. She was as tough as her brothers- tougher, really- and it showed.

"It's Tommy." Ada raised a brow, but didn't look surprised. "I think he's fucking her. Tatiana Petrovna. Has been for weeks, probably." Ada sat up straighter and she had that look about her. Lizzie avoided that look. Fuck, even Tommy avoided that look. "Don't look like that. I could be wrong. No point in stirring up trouble before I'm sure there's any to stir." Ada relaxed a bit, her eyes turning sad instead of angry. It was almost worse in Lizzie's opinion. "Promise you won't tell anyone else?" She wasn't sure she could handle seeing that look on the rest of the family's faces.

"He's stupid if he's screwing around with some other girl. Me and Esme will hold him down while you take your heels to his balls. I swear, we will. Polly won't even try and stop us." The image made Lizzie smile. Then chuckle. Then she was laughing and Ada was too. And if her tears weren't quite from laughing like Ada thought, that was no one's business but Lizzie's.

~*~

He was angry when he got home.

It would have bothered Lizzie more if he didn't smell like some other woman's perfume. Or maybe if his hair wasn't mussed. Or maybe even if he'd just had the decency to fucking call instead of showing up at nearly eleven at night. But since he did smell like perfume and his hair was mussed and he hadn't called, Lizzie didn't give a shit that he was mad. She was fucking fuming, wasn't she?

She was sat at the top of the stairs, silk robe- fucking strange still, her being in silk anything- tied loosely to cover the little slip of fabric she'd worn. For Tommy. Tommy who reeked of some slut's perfume. Tommy, who'd probably just had his dick- the dick she'd fucked that morning- in some other girl's cunt. And she couldn't believe she'd got dressed up for him. She couldn't believe she'd let herself think that maybe she was wrong about him. Maybe he wasn't like the other men she'd been with. Maybe they'd fucking last.

"Lizzie." It was like he was surprised to see her. Like he'd forgotten she lived there. Like he'd forgotten that he'd been the one to come find her. He reached for her hand. "It's late, love. C'mon, let's go to bed, eh?" She stared at his hand like it was covered in filth. Then her eyes found his and she watched him tense. She watched as his eyes narrowed in that way they did. "Liz? What's wrong?"

She stood up, ignoring the hand still held out to her. "I'm going to sleep in one of the other rooms tonight. Whoever she is, I hope she's a good fuck." She turned and walked down the hall, fighting back tears with each step. She'd not let him see her break. He wouldn't be another man she broke over. She couldn't- there was Ruby to think about now.

She shrugged out of her robe once she reached the room she'd chosen for the night. She crawled under the covers and pulled the extra pillow closer, hugging it to her stomach. Then, behind the security of a locked door, she cried. She let the pain and the betrayal and the anger and the love- God, how much she loved that fucking man- pour out of her and soak into her pillow.

Her eyes were heavy and swollen. Her throat tight and raw from self-inflicted silence. And she knew she wouldn't sleep. As tired as her body was from crying. As exhausted as her soul was from everything else. She wouldn't sleep. So she took deep breaths until her lungs stopped shuddering on every inhale. Then she thought of Ruby and every wonderful thing that made her daughter so special.

It took a long time- the clock on the wall said at least two hours. But finally she was calm. Finally she had let out all the things she could for the moment. No doubt there'd be more tears later- especially when she left this place. But that was a tomorrow problem. So she let go of the pillow she'd held crushed in her grip. She got a dry pillow for under her head.

Just as she had gotten comfortable, the door opened.

Tommy stepped in and turned on the light. She could feel his eyes on her, taking in her puffy face and red-rimmed eyes. She wanted him to go. She wanted him to let her have this night- this one moment to be broken. But he didn't leave and she couldn't help but let her eyes go to him. He was in his night clothes. His hair was damp from a shower. And his face was a bit paler than usual- she might have called it a guilty conscience. But he still looked perfect.

The fucker.

"I've got a plan." She nearly rolled her eyes out of her head. He ignored her. "I've got a plan, Lizzie Stark. For my future. And you-" he said, pointing at her, "are fucking it up." She felt her heart break a little bit more. Hadn't thought it was possible, that. Then he was walking to the bed, and climbing in. She sat up, a squeak of indignation leaving her as she searched for the best words to tell him to fuck right off. He didn't give her the chance. "Now. I'm having to do this different because you've got some nonsense in your head."

"Tommy if you don't-"

He kissed her. Just a quick little thing. Just enough to startle her into silence. "Right. So tomorrow, we're doing this again. And when we do, just know that this- tonight- is your own fault." Then he was reaching into his pocket and pulling out a little box. She didn't care. He wasn't going to fix this with a bit of jewelry. She'd never been one for jewelry anyway. Instead she rolled over and ignored him. And the fucking prick laughed. "That's alright," he whispered, lips glancing along the shell of her ear.

"Lizzie, you make me laugh more than anyone. You don't put up with my shit. Call me out more than Pol, and that's saying something." He let out a sigh and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her stiff body against his. "I thought I knew what love was once- with Grace. Thought I'd found the purest, most perfect kind of love. But I was wrong." She tensed, waiting for him to say he'd found it with this new girl, this Tatiana. "You- us- that's the purest. That's the pinnacle. The most perfect. And I want this- us- for as long as I can keep it. So, Elizabeth Stark- my angry, perfect, Lizzie... Will you marry me?"

The little box was placed on her pillow, right in front of her nose. In it was a beautiful ring. At the center was a perfect, round cut ruby. It was surrounded on both sides by three diamonds. Two years ago, she wouldn't have been able to tell it was a real diamond just by looking. Life was strange. She blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. She forced herself to ignore the rush of giddiness and excitement she felt at his words.

"Who's Tatiana?"

The arm around her waist, didn't tense. Tommy's breathing didn't change. Instead he pressed a kiss to her hair and Lizzie felt him smile. "Ah. That's what's got you so wound up." She bit her lip to keep from snapping at him. She wanted his answer. She needed it. Rolling her to her back, Tommy brought a hand to her cheek and guided her so she was looking at him. His blue eyes were light, but she could see that whatever he was about to say- it was the truth. "Tatiana Petrovna is a Russian duchess. Her family are jewelers- top quality, fucking expensive shit. But it's the best. Custom." Lizzie nodded slowly, the pieces coming together. "You deserve the fucking best. And she's... She's fucking insane, but she makes beautiful jewelry."

A small smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. Her finger, of its own volition, traced a line down Tommy's chest. It was almost coy. And she'd been ready to cut off his dick not even an hour ago. "It sounds like...Tommy Shelby was scared." His expression deadpanned. Her smile broke through. Her joy poured out of her in bright laughter.

Tommy smiled then. He tugged her closer. "Lizzie," he whispered, forehead dipping to rest against hers. She hummed, brushed his nose with hers. "Say 'yes'. Please." His fingers slid into her hair, gripping it lightly. She pulled back a bit so she could see him properly. He looked nervous. He looked like a kid asking a girl to the school dance. It made Lizzie smile. That- out of everything- made her let go of the fear and the hurt and the anger. That little bit of nerves- proof that this, she, meant something to him.

"Yes," she whispered, leaning in to brush her lips against his.

"Yeah?"

She loved him. Fuck, she loved him. She kissed him again- let herself sink into it for a moment. "Of course I'll marry you, Tom. Pick the day. Pick the place. I'll be there." He caught her smile with his lips. She wondered if he could taste her happiness. She thought maybe she could taste his. "I love you. I love you so much, Tommy Shelby." He slid down a bit, pulled her in so his head was pressed to her chest. She let her fingers thread into his hair, tugging the strands a bit. This was good. And, now, she could only see it getting better.

"Can't believe you thought I was fucking cheating on you."

She shook her head and smiled.

"Shut up. You gonna put the ring on me, or what?"