Free-Flight

Are We? - Part 2

Spensa

I took my time getting dressed. I know that I should stop procrastinating and go and face him like a warrior, but the truth was, I didn't actually want Jorgen to be angry at me. As much fun as it was to pester and frustrate him, I didn't want him to think poorly of me. Which if he didn't already, I probably just made him think I was a liar and a rebel not worth his time. He was probably so frustrated at having to reprimand me for some reason or another every time we flew. I really didn't want him to hate me. But he probably did.

I walked back to the hanger where I knew Jorgen would be waiting. I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes in the most defiant expression I could muster. A warrior always faced her challenges, no matter how handsome they were.

I immediately spotted him leaning against his Largo, a thoughtful expression on his face. Our eyes met and he glared. Scud. He was more than furious.

Not breaking eye contact, I closed the distance between us. He didn't say anything. He just glared down at me. And I glared right back, like it was some sort of angry staring contest.

We stood there in silence for what seemed like forever. I hated to admit it, but the death glare he was giving me made my insides crawl. I'd never seen him so angry. But I couldn't show any weakness.

"I'm waiting," I said impatiently, not able to stand the silent fury any longer.

"Spensa, are we a thing?" He suddenly blurted, his hard expression softening into shock.

"What?!" I shouted, taken aback. For a second, I'd been convinced he wanted to kill me. But then he goes and blurts out something like...that. Scud.

"Are we...a thing?" he repeated reluctantly.

I so desperately wanted to say yes. And I almost did. But the truth was..."I...I don't know," I told him. "Are we?"

"We... can be," he suggested hopefully. "If you want to, of course."

Scud, I wanted to. But that barrier was still there between us. Maybe he didn't understand that. Maybe I'd have to explain it to him. "I dunno, Jorgen," I sighed. "You're my Flightleader. Don't you think that would be kinda...weird? I might distract you from your duties."

"Trust me, you already do that, Spin." Jorgen slipped his hands around my waist. I don't know if it was that, or the flirtatious voice he was using, but my heart was fluttering like mad."I... love you," he breathed. Somehow, I managed not to melt into a gooey puddle on the floor.

"I...love you too," I found myself saying. And  it was true, I realized. I did love him. But...we couldn't. It just wouldn't work.

"It's just..," I explained, letting down the walls that hid my doubts and feelings. "We're complete opposites, Jorgen. You're a rule follower and a good leader and I'm...a complete rebel. I don't even know who I am. How can I get into a relationship with someone like you? I don't deserve you."

"Actually," he said, moving one of his hands to my cheek, which I'm pretty sure was actually on fire. "I don't deserve you. You're so brave and strong. You bring strength and confidence to the Flight. And to me."

"Really?" I said. Did he really feel that way about me?

"Yes, Spin. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Staring into those wonderful, knowing eyes, his gentle but strong hand pressed against my cheek, my racing heart... I couldn't hold the emotion in any longer, and I let myself melt. But just a little.

"So..," Jorgen cautioned. "Are we?"

"I want to be," I looked away, unable to meet his gaze. As much as I wanted to say yes, there was still something holding me back. "I really do. But there's just so much going on. Especially with being cytonic and all. It's just...I don't think you could understand."

"Actually, I might understand better than you think," Jorgen said, lifting my chin so I had to meet his eyes. "There's something I never told you."

What? How on earth could Jorgen understand what I was going through? I knew Flightleader was a big responsibility, but it didn't carry as much weight or risk as being cytonic.

"I'm not supposed to talk about this," he continued, slumping against his ship. I sat down next to him. "But I think you should know."

"What?"

"The cytonics didn't stay in the engines, you know."

"What are you saying?" I asked. What did he mean the cytonics didn't stay in the engines? People feared them, which is why they were stuck working the engines. And even if they somehow went to other departments, what did that have to do with anything?

"I saw the eyes, Spin," Jorgen confessed.

I froze. The eyes? Jorgen could see the eyes? How was that possible? Unless...

"That's how we found the Taynix," he continued. "I could hear them. I've always been able to hear them, but spending a week with your Gran-Gran helped me—"

"You spent a week with Gran-Gran?" I blurted, struck with a pang of jealousy. I wasn't sure who of. Maybe it was both.

"Cobb sent me to her when I told him about the eyes," he explained, a smile crossing his face. "We made bread."

I almost laughed. No doubt, she had made him do it with his eyes closed. I wondered if he peeked as much as I did. Probably not. He was much too good at following directions.

"So... you're a cytonic, too,"  I said.

"Yes," he said, leaning ever so closer. "Just not as powerful as you."

In that moment, the walls came tumbling down. That was what I'd needed to hear. I realized that I'd always known Jorgen was special. Maybe that's why we butted heads so much. I was afraid to love him. If I hated him, I wouldn't fall for him, right? If I didn't love him, I couldn't hurt him, and he couldn't hurt me. There was just so much risk in the relationship. But I'd fallen for him anyways. I realized that sometimes you have to take those risks. And I knew this was one of those risks I had to take.

"So, do you want to...," Jorgen asked, leaning impossibly closer. We were so, so close...and it was wonderful.

"Yes," I agreed, leaning in to kiss him, like I'd wanted to for so long. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.

A/N EEK! I don't really know what I'm doing, but I hope you like it! I also don't really know what I'm doing next, and I don't remember a lot of the things from Skyward, so I'll have to reread it. I'm sorry, but it might be awhile before I update again. I hope you enjoyed!