[MC #2] Biker's Savior

Chapter 25 - Katherine

I actually feel breathless when I pull away from Killian's kiss. What did I ever do to deserve a man like him? He's so loving and sweet I could literally melt on the spot.

But I can't.

Now that I agreed to be his, I need to tell him everything. I've been preparing myself for this the whole way back from Des Moines.

"Killian... I need to talk to you about something." I look shyly into his eyes, feeling extremely nervous about disclosing my past. It's not the same as telling the women about this. I'm about to tell the man I love about my fears... And I don't know if I can do this.

"What is it, Cupcake?" Killian questions softly, effortlessly ridding me of any reluctance I may have felt moments before.

"I think you should sit down for this." I chuckle quietly when I realize we're still standing in the middle of the room with me wrapped around my man like a clingy monkey.

Killian doesn't release me even for a moment as he goes to sit on the edge of the bed, staring me in the eyes as he waits for me to speak.

"I... I told you that I'm not ready to have sex with you right now... - I sigh heavily – There's a reason why I'm so... hesitant about getting intimate with someone. You know I wake up at dawn, no matter how little sleep I get. You've seen me flinch away or tense up when we touch. All those reactions come from... from when I was younger. – I can see Killian doesn't like where this is going as he frowns deeply in anger – Bernard used to touch me at nights, right at dawn. He would come to my room and put his hands on me. That's why I never sleep in anything revealing, that's why I wake up so early.

I know you probably don't want to hear it, but I couldn't possibly hide this from you any longer. I don't want you to hate me when I can't give you what you want. The thought of being intimate with a man scares me. I managed to get over some things, but this is beyond my control..." I finish quietly, not sure what else should I say. I can see that Killian is trying his hardest to stay calm, but his furrowed brows and harsh scowl show me he's furious.

"Did he... did he hurt you?" I feel my eyes widen slightly at the pain in Killian's voice then nod silently, averting my gaze from his so he doesn't see the shame in my eyes.

"I'm gonna kill him!"

"Killian?"

"He fucking hurt you! – He snarls furiously – And now he's trying to hurt you again! No one touches my woman! No fucking one!!!" He pulls me harshly into his chest, burying his face in my hair. I hear him take deep calming breaths, but his body is still locked solid, tense with fury as he keeps me snug against him.

"You... you don't hate me for it?" I tentatively ask after a while.

"How could I fucking hate you?! – Killian pulls me away from his chest and cups my face gently – I'm furious at what was done to you, but I'll never hate you. My anger is directed at Bernard, not you." He gives me a sweet kiss that immediately makes me relax in his hold.

"You're not mad that I'm not... pure? That I'm used?"

"Don't you fucking say shit like that! – he admonishes harshly – What happened to you doesn't fucking define you! To me, you'll always be the sweet, pure, gentle and gorgeous Cupcake. Nothing can change that. Absolutely nothing." I wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face in the crook of it, and relish the warmth he provides. I love this man so much!

"I love you!" I cry out into his neck, getting only a squeeze in response.

"And I love you, my Cupcake." Killian breathes out into my shoulder before kissing it softly.

We stay like this for a while, just relishing the closeness. Seeing as Killian didn't push me away and call me a slut like my mother had, I decide to tell him everything.

"You know, I told Gloria about what her husband was doing to me... - I feel Killian's hold on me tighten even more at this – She didn't believe me at first. But Bernard admitted to everything. He said I seduced him and pretty much invited him to my room. You see, I had to sleep with the door open because I couldn't afford to put a lock on it or get an air conditioner. My room was really tiny and it would get extremely hot in there. I had no choice but to leave the door slightly ajar if I wanted to breathe. I never wanted him to come in and do what he did.

What hurt the most was when my own mother didn't take my side on this. She was so fixated on Bernard she took his words over mine. It was only after I lost my job and didn't have money she could steal that she made him leave. But she didn't do it for me. She said... she said that way I won't be too distracted whoring around and find a new job faster. That was my breaking point. She didn't care about me, I was just a way for her to feed her addiction. I was just a burden that managed to earn money so she wouldn't have to.

I was naive enough to believe that she would change over time without Bernard influencing her in any way. I couldn't be more wrong. It didn't take her long to bring him back. As soon as I saw him walk through the front door of our house, I told my mother I'm going to leave. I couldn't stay in that place with them. I just couldn't.

I got into a big argument with Gloria about that. I tried to make her see that Bernard is a monster and that he'll only keep hurting me, her own daughter, but she didn't care. She said it's her life and she can do whatever she pleases. Whenever I tried to reason with her, she would hit or slap me and call me a slut. She was convinced that what Bernard had said was true and nothing could change her mind. So I left. I didn't even take anything with me, I just ran out the door and left it all behind. I never expected her to follow me or come all the way here, even though I should've expected that. I was her only source of money. Without me paying the bills and getting food on the table, she would never be able to hold a job. Not when she's so deep into drugs."

I actually feel lighter after telling Killian everything, it's like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders.

"They didn't deserve you. You shouldn't have been used like that. And you can be goddamn sure I won't let anything happen to you anymore. You're mine and I take care of what's mine." Killian states sternly.

I know it may sound outrageous to some people, but I love being called his. I don't mind him saying that. I don't mind wearing a cut that says I'm his property. It feels nice to be cared for rather than be the caretaker, especially of someone as ungrateful as my mother.

"You have no idea how scared I was about telling you this. – I whisper quietly, pulling away so I can look into my man's sweet eyes – I was afraid you'd look at me differently, that you'd realize I'm not worth the trouble, that... that you'd see me as pathetic..." I admit hesitantly, getting a deep sigh in response as Killian shakes his head at me.

"You have the strangest mind. I'd never see you as pathetic, Cupcake. In fact, I think you're much stronger than you give yourself credit for. So what if you went through something horrible? Everyone has their own baggage. What you've experienced would never change the way I see you. And it never will. Because all I see is a strong beautiful woman that despite being dealt shitty card in life has a big heart and can find it in her to love someone as fucked up as me. I have a past of my own, Cupcake, so why would I judge you for yours? We've been over this already. Nothing you do can ever make me look at you differently. Nothing." I feel my eyes tear up at the sweet confession and lunge at Killian in pure euphoria.

He understands. He still loves me. He still wants me!

I take my man's face into my hands gently and claim his lips with mine, pouring all my feelings into the kiss.

I can do this.

With Killian by my side, I'm invincible.

It's time to face my fear.

"Killian, take me."