Shadow and Stars

One

A sky darker than beads of ink pooled on a stark white canvas.

No stars shining, no moon.

Just...black.

A weak voice pleading with me, dripping with desperation.

A brilliant flash of light burning at the edges of my vision.

"Miss Young."

I jump in my seat, my eyes snapping open; the blackness of the night vanishes, and I am surrounded by the curious faces of my classmates, my teacher staring at me with genuine concern.

"I—"

"Miss Young, are you all right?" my English teacher, Mrs. Nivens, asks, her normally strident tone gentle and uneasy.

I flush, my brown skin heating to an uncomfortable temperature, and I twist a ringlet of ebony hair between my fingers. "Yes, Mrs. Nivens. I just—I think I fell asleep," I say in a low voice, the lie rolling off my tongue. "My apologies."

Her perfectly sculpted eyebrow dips, and it's clear that she doesn't quite believe me, but the pressing need to finish her lesson on symbolism in The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock forces her to let it go. With one last glance in my direction, she continues her lecture.

I spend the last fifteen minutes of class in a haze, in that space between sleep and waking right after you've had a horrible nightmare. Whatever I'd seen in those few seconds is right on the edge of my consciousness, yet too foggy to grasp.

But there was one thing I was sure of by the time the bell rang—I hadn't been asleep, so whatever I'd seen hadn't been a nightmare.

This isn't the first time something strange has happened inside my head, but it's the first time it's happened in public; the first time I've been certain that I wasn't imagining it, if only because others witnessed the aftermath.

I'm not the girl who gives in to whims and impossibilities, so the idea that I'm having any kind of vision is inconceivable. Yet, here I am. My breath is coming in shallow pants as I roam the hallways searching for the one person I know I can trust with this, the one person who won't think I'm crazy or look at me like I've got two heads.

I burst out the double doors, and as soon as I see him, my heart rate slows. His umber skin is almost shimmering in the bright afternoon sun, complementing the bright colors of Eureka Springs High School.

Levi Hammond, the boy I've been in love with since we moved back to Eureka Springs five years ago. His smile can soothe any pain, and his caramel eyes take hold of me without letting go.

But he presses his lips into a hard frown, and his normally warm gaze is harsh...cold.

I continue my path to him, but my steps slow as I get closer. I tilt my head to the side and put my hand on his cheek. "Levi, are you okay?"

He jerks his face away from me and leans back against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. "Why don't you tell me, Cam?"

I step back, stung by his rejection. "What are you talking about?"

"I already know what happened. You don't even have to tell me, but it would sure be nice if you could own up to it," he hisses, his eyes flaring behind his glasses.

"I don't...are you talking about what just happened in English? Because I don't know why you'd be mad about that or how you'd kn—" I say, but he interrupts me, shaking his head, a bitter laugh escaping his throat.

"I don't know what just happened in English, Camryn, and frankly, I don't give a rat's ass!" he yells, and the few students and teachers standing around look in our direction.

My eyes widen, and I close the distance between us. "Levi, I have no idea what you're talking about," I whisper, panic rising in my chest.

"How long has it been going on? Just tell me that."

"How long has what been going on?"

"Come on, cut the shit. How long have you been cheating on me, Camryn?" he barks, and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach.

"How long have I been cheating on you?" I exclaim, losing awareness of where we are. "I'm not cheating on you, Levi; where in the hell would you get an idea like that?"

His lip curls in an expression I can only describe as pure loathing. "Considering I saw you with my own eyes, I don't think it requires any further explanation."

"I'm—what—you saw me? Saw me doing what?"

"Stop, Camryn. Just stop with the innocent-I've-never-done-a-bad-thing-in-my-life routine. We both know that's a load of bullshit. I saw you before class kissing some fucking loser out in the courtyard. I'd never even seen him before, but clearly you had. You know, I thought the last three years meant something to you, but I guess I was wrong about that too."

Tears run down my face now, and I shake my head. "I didn't kiss anyone else, Levi, I swear to God, please believe me!" I reach toward him, but he puts his palm out toward me.

"Stay away from me, Camryn. If I never see your face again, it'll be too soon," he spits, the anger in his face burning, overflowing like lava from a volcano you'd always thought was dormant.

Before I can say another word in protest, he's gone, and my heart is in pieces on the sidewalk.

I just stand there for I don't even know how long—it could've been five minutes or two hours. By the time I stop crying and look around, all the buses are gone, and teachers' cars are out of the parking lot.

Walking back to my car, I retrace my steps from first period until now. It's silly to even consider; I am 110% sure I didn't kiss anyone besides Levi today, or any other day, but he was so adamant, so certain. Was it possible he wasn't wearing his glasses and just thought it was me from the back? What other explanation could there be? Was he lying? That doesn't seem probable either, but after the day I'd had, I don't know what to believe.

Is this related to what happened in class? No. I push the idea out of my head before it can consume me.

I slide into my Honda Civic, grip the steering wheel with both hands, and grit my teeth against the fresh tears threatening to fall. How had everything gone so wrong so fast?

I would never cheat on Levi. I don't know how he can't see what he means to me, how much I rely on him to keep my sanity.

Since my mom got sick, Levi has been one of the few constants in my life besides my father, and now he's gone too. I'd just rebuilt my world, and it is crumbling around me all over again. I slam my palms against the steering wheel and let out a howl of frustration.

The unmistakable cracking of the windshield stuns me, and for the third time today, I'm left asking myself, "What the hell just happened?"