Shadow and Stars

Sixteen

"Well, that was bizarre," Julian says as we burst through the nursing home doors as fast as possible.

I snap my head toward him and raise my eyebrows. "Bizarre? That's the understatement of the century."

"All right then, it was the weirdest fucking thing I've ever encountered, and I've seen some crazy shit," Julian amends with a slight tremor in his voice.

"What am I going to do?" I cry, my voice creeping up an octave as I pace next to the Mustang. "This can't be happening. I mean, is it just me or did she make it seem like I am in actual mortal danger?" I lose my breath, my chest heaving and throat constricting.

Julian steps toward me and lays his hand on my forearm. "Cam, breathe. Please. Let's talk it through; we'll figure it out."

I look down at his hand on my skin, and before I can think about what I'm saying, I blurt, "Why are you here, Julian? This is way more than you signed up for when Ms. Ferguson paired us together for a history project." That I'm not even sure we've started.

He looks stung, but when he speaks, the tremor leaves his voice.

"I'm here because in case you haven't noticed, I care about you. You're my friend, history project or not." He takes one step toward me, closing the distance between us. "Let me help you, Cam," he murmurs.

I so badly want to let my guard down, really let him in, but I just can't. It's already complicated enough, not to mention I don't want him getting hurt.

"No. I can't let you get involved any more than you already have. It could be dangerous, and it's just..." I take a deep breath and step away from him. "It's best if we just do the project and leave it at that."

Julian rakes his fingers through his chocolate strands and shakes his head. "Camryn, why can't you just let—"

"You help me?" I scoff and back away toward the sidewalk. "I can handle it, okay? I'll even do the project, just send me what you have done, and I'll finish it."

"Where are you going? At least let me drive you home."

"I'm fine. The walk will be good for me," I call over my shoulder, and instead of walking away, I break into a run.

It's almost dark when I get home, and while I feel guilty for pushing Julian away, it probably is for the best. Whatever is going on with me isn't something he should be responsible for; we barely know each other, and this is out of the realm of casual friendship.

And if I am being honest with myself, I am already feeling something far more than casual friendship for Julian. And now is not the time for that. It's better that I let him go before I hurt him, regardless if I mean to or not.

When I let myself in the front door, Dad is sitting on the sofa watching a rerun of Jeopardy. "Hey, Daddy," I say, kissing him on the forehead before sinking down on the cushion next to him.

"Hey ladybug," he replies, clicking the TV off and turning to face me. "How did it go with Pearl?"

How much do I tell him? I wrestle with the decision for a moment but play it safe. "She's a little out there, but she told us that there were some old stories, but she didn't remember what they were. When I showed her the picture, she knew it was Aurora and Luna, but when we asked about the sun and moon magic, she laughed and said they were just stories they used to tell to scare the kids."

Blowing out a relieved breath, he nods. "Good. I'm glad it wasn't anything more than that." He looks around. "Where's your friend?" He wiggles his eyebrows, and my heart constricts.

"Oh, he had to go home, his aunt needed his help with something," I lie, picking at a loose thread on my jeans.

"Well, next time, bring him inside so I can meet him. I want to know who my daughter is spending so much time with."

I shake my head. "The project is due next week, so we probably won't be hanging out much after that," I say, and I feel an inexplicable heaviness at my words.

"That's a shame; you light up when you talk about him, you know," he says with a wink before getting up to go to the kitchen.

Closing my eyes, I lay my head against the cushion and push all thoughts of Julian from my mind.

I have to focus on figuring out what the hell is going on inside my head...and ignore the matters of the heart.

In class the next day, I am prepared for the uncomfortable moments with Julian, but it turns out I don't have to worry about it.

Julian doesn't say a word to me, and barely even looks in my direction. Chewing my lip, I pull out my phone and send him a text.

Gym Class Julian, don't forget to send me the PowerPoint. :)

I watch as he pulls his phone from his pocket, hoping for a smile or at least a nod in my direction. But he just taps a few keys and shoves his phone back in his pocket.

My phone vibrates in my hand and my face falls as I read the text.

Check your email. It's there now.

Damn, I really messed this up, but it is just all so confusing for me. One moment I am heartbroken over Levi, who I was with for three years, but within a matter of weeks, I am feeling something for this boy who just came out of nowhere. I at least wanted to be Julian's friend, but it looks like that door has closed. Just like with Rose.

Now...I've got no one.

And no one to blame but myself.