broken and healing

0.1

it was a rainy tuesday afternoon, i sat alone in my living room reading a nice book, curled up in a blanket, while some music was lightly playing. i hummed among to the words. once i had finished my chapter, i decided that i wanted coffee, so i grabbed my phone, bag, and keys and headed to my car. on the way i had made the choice that i wanted to redecorate a little and clean my house up. going to starbucks has been a daily thing for about two months now, and everyday i go, there's this one boy always there, and he looks sleep deprived, and numb, i decided today i was going to talk to him. we talk a little every day, a simple hi, hey, and bye, conversation, but today i want to actually talk with him. i jumped out the car and walked inside the starbucks. i ordered my normal, birthday cake cakepop, and a venti guava chip frap, with 3 pumps hazelnut, and caramel drizzle. after they gave me my order i walked over to where the boy was sat, and sat down across from him. he just looked at me. if looks could kill man, i'd be long long gone.
H: hi, im hailey. i wanted to introduce myself, hoping we could maybe be friends?
he chuckled.
T: friends with me? why would a pretty girl like you want that?
H: well you seem lonley, and i dunno, i just wanted to talk to you. i don't have many friends myself, i only have four friends.
i said looking down.
T: whats in it for me?
H: umm, i'll buy you coffee?
T: im thomas.
he said , his expression softening a little.
H: i've already introduced myself. but do you wanna hangout today?
T: what are we gonna do?
H: well i was gonna redecorate some of my apartment today, and clean, but we don't have to do that. i can get around to that any day.
T: wait do you live on your own?
H: oh, yeah, i have for a year and a half.
T: oh cool, and we can do that today, it's fine, i'll help.
we took our drinks to my car and went to the furniture store. when we got to my apartment i let him pick some music to listen to while we did this. and we had gotten halfway through when we got tired and took a break, i went to my bedroom and grabbed my dab pen from the drawer and walked back out to him. "you smoke?"
he nodded. i hit it and passed it to him, and we repeated the process a few times. we were sat on my couch listening to music, when nowhere fast by miles wesley came on, i stood up and started dancing around like a weirdo and he just laughed at me. i sat back down by him, and he spoke.
T: tell me about yourself
i took another hit.
H: im seventeen, i have four friends, i got emancipated because my mom and i didn't get along she's very toxic. physical fights happened everyday when i lived with her. i have a toxic past, i was the hbic of my highschool, hurt a lot of people's feelings and ego. um, i dated a guy named brandon for almost two years. things got toxic there, we would fight all the time, when i would yell at him he would hit me which caused me to yell at him more. he often got mad at me because i didn't want to have sex with him, because i wasn't ready. my best friend jess killed herself after she was rapped while visiting her aunt in texas. my other friend kam died from cancer. that's why i smoke and i am the way i am. now tell me about you.
T: well, i'm an actor that's why i'm so good at hiding my feelings. i just don't always choose to, sometimes hiding it is more painful than showing it. all i have is my few friends, and and friends to keep me here. i can't tell you why i feel how i feel, i just do. i'm battling depression, and i have suicidal thoughts, but i take medicine for both of those now, i'm bipolar. my dad left me. i'm not proud of who i am, but i am working on it the best i can.
he said looking down. i grabbed my dab pen and threw it. he jumped and looked at me.
H: i struggled with drug addiction. i was sober for almost two months until i just did that. i don't know why i did it. i guess i wanted it to be comforting to you. im sorry.
i turned a movie on and we got on the couch and watched it. i looked at the clock, it was 1 am.
H: you can't go home this late, stay over. you can take the bed i'll sleep here.
he shook his head no.
T: it's your house i'll sleep here.
i shook my head.
H: we can both take the bed, i can share. i'd be a bad host if i made you sleep on the couch.
he didn't argue, he just followed me to the bedroom and took his hoodie off, climbing into the bed, as i changed and got in the bed.

i don't know what it is about him, but i've felt so drawn to him since the first week i saw him at starbucks. maybe this is the start of something great.