Ch 3: Its all in the past

100 2 7

by Kaya_Wolf78

by Kaya_Wolf78

×hello! This chapter is gonna have more trigger warnings than the last ones, the TWs are; Cursing, panic attacks, physical abuse, feeling alone, cutting and a little bit of blood, please please dont read this if these trigger you! Also, the song is important to the story listen to it if you want. But anyway I hope you enjoy!×

School was over for the day, and Roman was sitting on his bed listening to music;Green Day, Bulivard of broken dreams, he gets a bit bored and starts quietly singing to himself,

"I walk a lonely road, the only road that I have ever known..I dont know where it goes, but its home to me and I walk alone"
He continues singing and gets lost in his thoughts quickly, making him sing louder than he wanted,
"My shadows the only one who walks beside me! And my shallow hearts the only thing that's beatin'! Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me! Til' then I walk alone~" then suddenly Roman hears a beautiful voice singing with him.. it sounded like his mom
"Ah-ah ah-ah, ah-ah aaah-ah" he didn't realize he was crying untill he felt the most tears cascading down his face, his thoughts started going to the darker parts of his mind
"Its all your fault, if you weren't born she would still be here! It's all your fault!" His thoughts screamed at him "you dont deserve this life! Maybe you should just go! Hurt yourself Roman,"
Roman then got up from his bed, tears still streaming down his face. He walked to the bathroom and found the thing hes hid behind his whole life, A Razor.
"Do it Roman! Now!"
So, he did.
1 "Worthless"
2 "Its all your fault"
3 "Shed still be alive if it weren't for you"
4 "weakling"
5 "unloved"

After he was done with.. that he slid down to his knees, shaking violently and crying feeling more alone than hes ever felt. His breathing was shakey and his thoughts were at there worst, he had barely heard his door open and his father come in, Yelling at him "Where are you boy?!" His father, Cris, yelled and came in the bathroom to see his son on the floor "what the fuck are you doing?! Get up!" Cris yelled pulling Roman up by his hair, "N-no! Ple- pl-please d-d-dad!"
Roman screamed as cris dragged him out of the bathroom and threw him onto the wall "Shut up! You were late coming home! Where were you?!"
"I- I di- I didnt mean- to! I'm sor-sorry!"
"My Ass! Your just a lazy peice of shit," cris yelled while throwing Roman to the floor
"I'll be back, and when I come back this house better be Spot. Less. Or youll regret it" as cris left Roman had already passed out from everything, and that was not a good thing.

××Time skip brought to you by my laziness××

A few hours later Roman had woken up, being in his brother's room?.. when did this happen. Well when roman had passed out, Remus had just gotten home and heard his dad yell at Roman, so when his dad left he came and brought Roman to his room, his dad had gone to a stop club and stayed at a hotel, so he wouldn't be home for a few day.
"Wh- where? Oh.." Roman said sitting up and looking around to see his brother next to him
"Hey brother.. how you doin'?"
Remus said softly rubbing the Omega's back
"I uh.. good?" Roman says rubbing the back of his head, then remus noticed something.. Roman's arms. "Hey bro? What- what is that?" He says pointing to his arms where a little bit of dried blood can be seen "Wha!- oh- oh! Its nothing bro.. heh"
"If its nothing then.. let me see it"
"NO!-...i- I mean, no you cant I'm sorry"
"Roman." Remus says gently grabbing his wrist
"Let." Brings his arm closer
"Me" starts lifting his sleeve
"Nononono Stop!" Roman says, but it's no use remus was stronger
"See...*Gasp* Omg" As remus lifts the sleeve up, he sees the new scars, but also years, weeks, and days worth of scars, burns and... bite marks? "Rem- Remus! Give me my arm!.. I didn't want-"
"Roman! Why?" Roman flinches at the sudden volume and looks up at his brother "because.."
"You can tell me anything"
"I heard mom singing.... and then in my head.. cris started telling me how worthless I am, and if I was never born.. she would still be alive... and I felt.. so alone because I'm worthless and.. weak"

As roman says this he breaks down again, expecting his brother to start yelling.
"Roman. Look at me." Roman looks at him
"that. Was. Not. Your fault, she wasn't happy.. so she did what she did and that's all in the past now. You had nothing to do with it, You are an amazing person, I love you and your NOT weak, your the strongest person I know and y o ur not alone, you have me and that one emo kid that you love so much heh.. I dont want to see you like this. And cris? He can go get fucked by an ostrich!" Roman chuckles a bit at that
"That low-life isnt right in any way. you Are talented, smart.. Your also a hot babe! If we weren't brothers I'd fuck you..that sounded weird, but I mean it. that's not even the only thing! your just a great person and if anyone say other wise then.. they can get fucked. Gently. With a chansaw"
At that Roman burst out laughing and hugged his big brother "Thank you Rem"
"No problamo baby bro!"
"I love you.."
"I know right! I love me to!.. but also you to I guess"
And with that, the two brothers fell asleep in each others arms both smiling slightly..

I'm walking down the line, that divides me somewhere in my mind, on the border line of the edge and where I walk alone.

Read between the lines, what's fucked up when everything's alright. Check my vital signs, to know if I'm alive, and I walk alone.
I walk alone
I walk alone..
I walk alone
I walk a....

My shadows the only one that walks beside me! My shallow hearts the only thing that's beatin'! Some times I wish, someone out there will find me!
Till then I walk alone!.

Ah-Ah
Ah-Ah
Ah-Ah AAh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street, on the bulivard of broken dreams, where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk a....

My shadows the only one who walks beside me! My shallow hearts the only thing that's beatin'! sometimes I wish someone out there will find me!

Till then I walk alone!.....

×Oh. My. Freaking. BECKY.
This, is an angst chapter (Yuh think?) It was great brotherly love to- I really hope you liked this chapter! Its barley proof read.. so-
Bai!!!!×