Sweet, Sweet, Fantasies

Chapter 5: "Try Me"

AN= Author's Note

Character Names:

Siline Valory (Si-lean like Selene)

Rocky "Beau" Jackson

Play Try Me by The Weeknd during your reading for maximum enjoyment
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Prelude

One thing I hated. I couldn't lie to myself as easily as I lied to others. I really hated that.

No matter what I did I could never convince myself it was just a sexual attraction to this idiot. He wasn't even an idiot in the sense of his intelligence. Just an idiot in the sense of not knowing my full attraction to him. Not that he would know.

Something I also didn't like about myself.

Every time I had a crush I yearned for their attention, wishing they noticed me but I think everyone does honestly but I despise how I act when I really like someone especially if we become friends.

I've always been the mama bear friend, had to make sure my friends were taking care of themselves.

When I like someone I start to act like the girlfriend/wife. In my opinion it's so stupid. Acting like that to a guy who's not even committed to you, let alone knows you like him. Or maybe he does know but just won't act on it.

My policy is to not show interest until I'm shown interest. Saves me from rejection but also isn't that effective because not everyone can step up to the person they like...like me, I have that confidence every once in a while.

Nothing particularly special about me. I just liked to help in anyway I could, hated seeing others hurt.. all it did was hurt me. I'm not above average smart, I'm pretty but not a second glance pretty, I'm not an athlete.

Hell, I barely participated in clubs in Highschool and I wasn't an all around art student or had much hobbies. In my opinion that seems pretty fucking boring to me. My personality switches from being an introvert to an extrovert quickly. Most people are just attracted to my body and the sexual prowess I accidentally give off and its honestly annoying, there's more to me than what I look like ya'know but sometimes I don't think so.

I find it hard to like people or keep crushes. At some point they either piss me off or I see them for who they really are and they then become unfit in my eyes. It's honestly why I couldn't last long on dating apps. I don't think everyone is bad but majority of people suck there's always something they want from you. With me? It's always sex. No surprise there. I shouldn't have thought he'd be any different....
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My phone buzzed and started playing "Stretch You Out" by Summer Walker. It was Beau or as he likes to be called Trévontae . I hated calling him that. I liked his real name but he didn't want anyone to call him that so that name stuck with everyone but in my mind he was Beau to me.

Which suited him.

He was 6'5, dark chocolate, ginger short waved hair,smart,hardworking, funny(when he tried) and thick muscles and he was artistic.

It's not like this guy couldn't get who he wanted, he just stayed single which didn't make sense to me because he seemed to always want someone but not everyone wanted a relationship if that made any sense. I couldn't say much about myself.

His short text just consisted of asking what I was doing and updating me on whatever he said he was gonna do.

"I'll text him later."