I hear some voices next to me, I can't recognise them but they sound so familiar. When I open my eyes I hardly see anything, a white light blinds me and even after rubbing my eyes with my left hand - there's something tied to my right arm, and it hurts a little - I still see blur figures. There are some people in the room but I can't clearly see them until I rub my eyes a few times. "He's woken up" - It's Mark. He smiles getting closer to me. Gary is here too and I'm feeling a bit upset. I can't remember nothing. "He looks better, doesn't he?" - Gary comes to the right side of the bed and stares at me. "You've slept for 16 hours" - He says looking at my shocked-not getting a fucking shit expression. Then I realise I'm in a hospital. The white walls and the smell of some liquid dropping in a IV bag with a cable inyected to my hurt arm doesn't make me feel so good. "Howard?" - Mark asks worried seeing my lost face. "I'll call a nurse" - He stands up from the blue armchair he was resting on decided to use that button all hospital rooms have but I stop him. "I'm fine" - I say reincorporating. He sits down again - "How's that feeling?" - He points at my arm. I didn't notice it was bandaged. I've got a clabe connected to it. "They've injected you something that will make you feel better" - Gary explains me. "It hurts a little but I bet I will survive" - I joke and I laugh and they laugh as well surprised. "You can't never be serious!" - Mark says when suddenly someone knocks at the door. I turn my head to have a look and I can't avoid to smile relief. "Hello! I'm sorry lads, I had to take a taxi" - It's Jason, his pants and coat are all wet and he's holding an umbrella he leaves next to the door before he enters. "How are you mate?" - He asks me excited coming to Mark's side. He's looking tired as they all do but he seems so glad to see me anyway. "Fine, better than yesterday I guess" - For a second I remember I fell on the floor while we were on stage, and something blew against my arm and my chest. But I can't quite remember more. "What happened with the gig?" - I ask them feeling much better now. They make a pause. I don't know how am I looking right now but their faces turn sad as soon as I ask them. Maybe I had the illusion that they wouldn't have cancelled the show. "We had to canc-e..." - Gary tells me and stops when I nod and I sigh getting it as I expected. "You know it would have been impossible to carry on" - Mark adds standing up offering his seat to Jason. "The doctors said you'll have to stay here for three days" - He tells - "So we'll have to cancel Birmingham's show". I hate this. I can't stand the fact of thinking about the lots of fans reading our messages if we tell them we won't be able to perform on Friday. "But you could go without me" - I complain. "We couldn't do that" - they say looking at me like if I had gone mad. "Why not? You could, I don't want to see how those people get depressed if we make them know this" - I say - "You could perform without me". Their faces don't seem so sure with my words and just when I'm about to talk again a nurse enters to the room. "My apologise but you'll have to leave in 5 minutes, only one person can stay in the evening until dinner time" - She tells us and leaves saying a doctor will be visiting me in half an hour. "Jason can stay, we've been here all morning" - Gary says taking his coat walking in front of the bed. > - Jay whispers at Mark when this puts his hand on his back in a way of goodbye. "We'll talk later" - "See you tonight" - They say and they leave.
Jason sits again on that blue armchair on my left. "Does it hurt?" - He asks pointing to my bandaged arm. "I don't even know how did I get that...but it's okay" - I laugh. He laughs and he tells me how did I get it. I apparently fell on stage while dancing and I broke my arm. When the ambulance took me to the hospital I fainted because I started to lose too much blood. He tells me they stayed all night here to make sure I was okay because the doctors had me in a 2 hours operation. They came back to the hotel for 4 hours and Mark and Gary came back in the morning. "I called Paul but he had some problems because of the rain and the van and I had to wait for a taxi" - He excuses himself for this morning assumpt. "Hey, it doesn't matter" - I insist. There's a nice silence for 10 seconds. "What's this..." - I murmur holding another cable, it's connected to my chest, near my collar bones, covered with some adhesive tape. "What the hell have they made me?" - I laugh trying to get what it is for. "Did they inject you morphine yet?" - Jay asks me getting closer and I unbotton my shirt so he can see. He sits on the bed my side and takes a look while I'm holding the cable. He rests his hand on my shoulder and then it clearly touches my chest. His fingers are so cold, he's freezing, comparing to my body. "Mmh I don't know" - he says - "It can be morphine". His hand is still on my chest and I notice I've been only staring at his face for minutes. I don't know why but he hasn't moved his hand and I neither refuse it. He touches my front and I begin to feel something weird, the situation doesn't have sense at all and I like it. He keeps passing his cold hand by my face and beard and now I feel nervous. To be honest I'm sweating. He's left his hand there, stroking my beard and making me feel something inside of me. A deep silence has filled the room and I can only hear his breath so close to me, I can almost feel its warmth on my face and I'm not saying anything. I should refuse this and break this awkward silence with a joke but I don't, and I don't feel bad. He had kept his eyes on me but not straight to my eyes. Now they do. He's coming closer to me and I've put my hand on his cheek, he's cold as fuck and the contact our skins made has accelerated my heart beats in a way I never felt before. Our heads had already touched and he looks down. I feel his deep breath on my neck and my warm body is making him feel warm as well. I don't have a clue about what's going to happen next and he does before I can make a move. He comes so close until our noses touch and he presses his lips on mine. This is the weirdest thing I've ever done. I'm not feeling bad but I don't feel good and at the same time I don't want him to stop. He has his legs around mine so he won't touch any cable, I keep kissing him with my left hand stroking his face and beard, damn it I love his beard, and I carefully make his legs lay on me. I don't know how morphine can affect a patient but without even thinking and all at a sudden I'm trying to get his shirt off. "Sshh not here" - He whispers in a warmth breath with his head touching mine and he kisses me again while rubbing my hair with his cold hands. For a moment I remember the nurse's words "A doctor will be visiting you in half an hour" > > "The doctor!" - I stop getting away of my mate or whatever this is and he falls on the floor. He stands up immediately and tries to act normally - he's got messy hair now -as I cover my chest getting my shirt again.
And only five seconds later a doctor crosses the door.
