Chasing Cars

1 | Midnight Thoughts

Tyne groggily yanked her and his brother's shared room's door open, even subtly rubbing her eyes with the other hand. She was already half-asleep; yawning. She just finished what she thought was an endless pile of school-work, not very long ago. And with the gladdening thought of having a good night slumber after a dreadful 7 hours of studying, she directly headed towards her room right after closing and clearing up the books and school supplies scattered all over her desk.

Despite the exhaustion, she decided to muster up every energy she had left to quickly jolt away her slippers. She fumbled her way onto the stiff bed, and she groaned the moment she felt her back as if piercing through the surface.

"Gosh, my whole body hurts." As she winced because of the pain, she then carefully reached out to her nape, gently caressing it. However, she didn't really mind now. She was rather accustomed to it, since she had that routine almost on repeat her entire life. It was safe to say that she dedicated her whole life to school. And tonight was just another midnight of the draining work and responsibilities she felt the need to accomplish.

"Overworking again, huh?"

Tyne slightly jumped because of the sudden voice coming from the other bed- her brother's bed.

"YA! I almost died! Stop scaring me like that!" She grabbed her now racing chest, desiring for it to calm down. She was the type to be easily startled, and so almost every bits of drowsiness in her body seemed to slowly disperse into dust. Perhaps her mind was too preoccupied to even notice that her brother was still wide awake. Or did she awoken him by her noise?

Her brother only rolled his eyes as a response, and chuckled lightly. "What even took you so long? It's 4am."

Tyne swiftly grabbed her phone from her bedside table to check the time, causing a rumble on the bedsheets. She was totally, definitely oblivious. Realizing what her brother mentioned, she let out a quiet sigh.

'I guess the perfectionist and people-pleaser side of me didn't help while crafting all those projects...' She almost blurted. But instead, she chose to go for a less dramatic response: "It was a PILE of school-works, what do you expect?" It would've felt awkward, opening up to a family member.

She placed her arm behind her head for it to serve as a pillow. She stared at her mundane white ceiling. "I made scripts, finished assignments, I edited a video, I-" She cut of herself.

"Ya! Hold on. What about you? Why are you still awake at this hour?" She attempted to swerve the topic. She slightly lifted her head towards her brother and asked him, only for the latter to raise his phone up, showing a mobile-game he currently won.

While planted on his face was a victorious grin, he uttered, "it's a weekend tomorrow. Why didn't you just put your works for later? I don't understand why you overwork yourself way too much or put in so much effort. Look at me! I'm chill, but still manages to pass! And I have lots of time to have fun if I want to!" Her brother seemed to relay some innuendo.

Tyne chuckled. If only that was easy...I wish it was that easy. "I guess we're different, huh?"

"Tell me about it," replied her brother.

"And I have practice. I have a whole day practice for the band tomorrow." She lifelessly conveyed as the tiredness finally sank in, laying weights on her body.

"Yeah? You should go to sleep, then," her brother reminded. "I'll go to sleep now."

"Goodnight..." Tyne only murmured a quiet reply and smiled lightly. "Sleep well," she whispered, almost inaudible.

Her brother's uttered words from a while ago rummaged her mind. Perhaps what her brother said hit very close proximity to home.

'I would be lying if I say I'm not exhausted...' She thought of the moments, whenever it appeared like her efforts were not enough, or when no one seems to recognize it. That was one of the most painful things. It was as if striking arrows directly penetrate your heart.

Tyne tried to ponder the possible reasons to her rationality. Why did she keep doing the things that burdened her?

Mayhaps, she despised the feeling of being disappointed, let alone disappointing somebody. Especially those who have anticipated so much from her.

Mayhaps, she spent a large portion of her time on studying, if not her whole life. That's why she has gotten very used to having its system puppet her. After all, quoted from her ultimate favorite book, 'The Little Prince': "It is the time you spent on your rose that makes your rose so special/important."

Mayhaps, she has overcame so much and reached so far, that it was almost quite impossible to let go of the grip she was holding onto for too long.

Oh, the strong yearning to let it all go, grew inside her. To let all the pressure and weight go. To halt all the greediness and constant comparison that loaded her. She wanted to stop living for other people. 'But it isn't going to be that easy, hm?' She thought.

Truth be told, she was scared to let go. She was afraid that the moment she decides to break-free, she would be no one. She was terrified to lose...what makes her, 'her'. Though she had no basis to that, she remained scared of the possibility.

Well, it wasn't like she hated studying to an extent. Because regardless of all the force that seems to squeeze her to the ground, after all, she still found studying a gratifying activity. Sometimes, that is.

A train of thoughts clouded her. She could only smile bitterly, baffled by her mind's capacity to store all those thoughts. In fact, she felt like she was about to go crazy. She didn't really have an idea what to do. Or was there really something necessary to be done?

Tyne lightly scratched her hair and displayed a frustrated expression: eyebrows knitting, nose scrunching, and lips pouting. She felt the hefty urge to scream her lungs out, to just release everything. However, she didn't really want to pester her brother. She also didn't want to cause disturbances, given the fact that it was very early in the morning.

"ZZZZZ..."

Speaking of causing disturbances...

Tyne's eyes shot wide open than it was, after hearing a blaring snore from the other bed. She was revived to her senses. She ignored it at first, only heaving a deep sigh. She tugged her blanket closer to cover her body, as it was a frosty early morning. She tried to seek for another sleeping position, so she shifted her body numerous times. Even shutting her eyes, in an attempt to fall asleep.

"ZZZZZ!..."

Another disturbing snore echoed throughout the dead-silent room. It went on, and on...and on. Tyne tried to cover her ears with pillows, to cover her ears with her fingers, desperately hoping for the sound to be blocked, if not stopped. But none of it sufficed.

"Ugh, this isn't gonna work," she groaned and shot up straight from bed. Though she truly wanted to take some rest, she felt this strong impetus to do something else. Her thoughts weren't letting her get anything close to sleep.

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