Alpha's Girl

Chapter Seven

Cece's POV

You're not good enough.

He'll never want you as his Luna.

He's just going to leave you again.

Minutes earlier, Cole had made eye contact with me in front of the crowd. In that moment, his posture had changed. His shoulders now were shifted forward, and his arms were flexed in a protective stance. He stood in a defensive stance, but his eyes shone a different mood.

They were focused completely on me. When I met his eyes, I knew again that this was the boy—the man, that destiny had picked for me. For a split second I could see the boy in him, the boy that I loved and craved and missed for so many years. I could see him running behind my brothers to wait for me, and I could remember the sparkle in his eyes even then. He was always gentle with me, always the one to let me follow them to play even when Declan had demanded I leave. The Moon Goddess herself had blessed me with him, and I couldn't be more grateful. It was always him. It had always been him. It was like we were the only two people in the crowd, like he was the only thing that mattered.

Our trance was broken when we had to look away, and I was brought again back to the reality of where we were. We were not alone, and we were not the only people that mattered. We both had packs to take care of, and to provide for. My moment of clarity with him was gone just as fast as it had come. My mind felt unguarded and weak; I just wanted to be close to him. And now, I was paying the price.

Pack thoughts swarmed my mind. What had felt private was actually the most public we could have been. Cole's stance, his gaze, his focus was clear. His eyes were on me. I didn't need to be wearing his claim for the message to have been received by the pack.

She's too young for him, no suit for a Luna! I smell rejection coming...

She isn't even pretty...definitely not going to be strong enough to run a pack...she's just a child, still has a lot of growing up, physically especially...

Cece!? She's his mate! This has got to be a joke. He was just looking my way a few moments ago!

Emotions overwhelmed me. Tears sprung to my eyes before I could stop them. I shut the mindlink off hard and fast and looked down at my hands. My mind taunted me further. A true Luna wouldn't hide her face in the eyes of her pack, my wolf seemed to snarl at me. But I didn't care. I was much too overwhelmed, much too overcome by the pain and embarrassment of what I had just heard.

A small part of me understood the reaction that some of the pack members were having. For years, I had been hidden from the pack. Outside of my meal times I rarely was allowed to do much without my guards or my family. I was kept under a tight leash and this had in turn affected my relationship with many pack members. I helped out my mother with her duties but never was given my own. I didn't train with the rest of the pack and I wasn't allowed to run with the other wolves my age after dark. I was never treated poorly and I knew the pack liked me, but I had never proven myself to be the leader that my brothers were. It was shocking for some of the members to recognize me as an Alpha's mate.

But a larger, much louder part of me was very, very hurt. It was a hurt that I wasn't prepared for, a swirl in the bottom of my stomach that had me hiding behind my hair and twisting my fingers in my lap.

This kind of hurt makes you feel shameful. It makes you question your worth, and question if you had gotten it wrong all along. My thoughts were no longer mine, they had taken on a new voice. This voice was mean, and it was feeding off the thoughts I had heard earlier.

I suffered silently, wishing the ceremony would hurry up and finish. The worst part of being humiliated is that it isn't quiet, and you can't ignore it. Leaving early wasn't an option, but I was too scared to pick up my head and face towards him again. It only would take one glance in my direction for him to know something was wrong.