color blind - h.s. au

twelve

"Alimony's a bitch, what can you do?" Harry's lawyer, Anthony Rigalda, shrugged as they walked through the lobby of the firm, headed for the elevator to take them to his office. Harry's shoulders slumped, a grey cloud of grump following after him. 

"Trust me, if anything, the money isn't what I'm worried about. She can have it," he muttered, taking a sip from the quickly cooling coffee in his hand. 

"What is there to worry about then, Harry?" Anthony asked as he reached over and pressed the button for the 8th floor. In a shared office building, you'd think the guys who made the most money would get the 25th floor, but they were stuck with the 8th floor. At least he had a corner office. "You and Mia have the most civilized divorce I've ever seen. Somehow, even though the marriage didn't work out, you two are still friends." 

"I'm not worried, I guess," Harry said, furrowing his eyebrows as if he was questioning his own statement. 

"Okay..." Anthony muttered hesitantly, stepping out of the elevator and leading Harry across the cubicle floor to his corner office. Harry took a seat in the leather arm chair that sat across from Anthony's desk, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he pulled the yellow envelope Mia had given him out of his bag. 

"Did I tell you she gave me the ring back?" Harry muttered as he pulled the final divorce papers from the envelope and set them on the desk.

"Shit. Ouch," Anthony hissed, sitting down in his seat and taking the small stack from him. 

"Right?" he chuckled, shaking his head a moment later. "At least keep it so I have one reason to resent you."

Anthony looked over the papers, nodded, and set them back down in front of Harry, placing a pen on top of them. 

"Everything here looks right. Nothing was changed or added from the last draft, and the agreement is in order. Just initial and sign in the same places as Mia and you'll be a legally single man."

"Because I've been illegally single for six months?" Harry joked, picking up the pen. He clicked the end, over and over, staring down at the page. 

"Harry, it's done. Let it be done."

How could he, though? He'd spent the last five years of his life giving his all to a woman who didn't want him. He'd spent the last five years building a life they were supposed to enjoy together, buying the house they were supposed to raise their children in. And in a few pen strokes, all of it would be finished. 

"Too late to ask her to take me back?" Harry mumbled, half jokingly. "God, I know I've had my time to process, it's just still a shock to me, you know?"

Anthony nodded in understanding. He did know. Not only had he overseen a hundred divorces, but he knew this same feeling from his own, and his was much less civil. 

"How do you put your all into someone and then just stop one day?" he responded, looking over to Harry. "The only advice I can give you is to let yourself be hurt."

Harry nodded, slowly, and lifted his pen once more. He flipped through the pages, placing his signature next to Mia's. It was the last time they'd ever do something together. 

With the final flick of his pen, it was over. Granted, it had been over for a long time, ever since The Talk, but now it was really, legally, over. He was no longer married. She was no longer Mrs. Mia Styles. 

When she'd first asked for divorce, his friends - the few he had - told him that it was better off this way. They had gotten married so young, never had kids, and had all this money. Now he was a single, eligible bachelor who had summers off and a void to fill. They were already planning a trip to Greece on his dime. 

The truth was, Harry was the one who wanted to get married so young. Mia was the one who insisted on waiting to start a family. She said she wanted time to be young, time for both of them to build a career and make enough of a living that they wouldn't have to struggle. When Mia started looking at houses with only two bedrooms - a master and a guest - Harry knew that he could kiss the thought of a family goodbye. This was only confirmed by her cringing every time they were asked when they were starting their own family. They avoided the conversation as much as possible, but in a young, heterosexual, married couple, it was inevitable. 

Flashes of Mia's face played in the back of his mind often, but he knew it was better this way. He only wish it didn't hurt so damn much. 

"Well, my first move as a newly single man will be to get right back to work. Thanks for meeting with me and going over these. I appreciate your help," Harry said, standing from his seat at the desk and reaching his hand across to shake Anthony's. 

On his walk from the downtown office to his studio space, he didn't bother to put his earbuds in. He let himself take in Lawrence, the cars rushing past him, the children yelling on the playground across the street. It was comforting, almost, knowing that the rest of the world was still moving. Life was still happening.