'Warm'
It was like I never feel the warm I feel my whole life, but now I can feel the warm I lost 10 years ago.
10 years ago I let my pride down as I listen his explanations.
*10 Years Ago*
"Uhm... can you promise me that you won't get angry?" I ask.
"Well it depends to what will you say, I can't promise but I will try to control myself." He said, I sigh gathering my courage.
"Well you see I was confused early, why did you call me love? You already have a girlfriend, right?" I ask carefully. He smiles and cupped my left cheek.
"You are my only girlfriend, that's why I call you love. But why do you say I already have a girlfriend aside from you?" now it's his turn to ask, I gulp, gosh how do I say this one.
"Well you see... I kind of saw you making out with another girl, at the dark alley 4 years ago... so I thought you love her... and already ask her to be your girlfriend... that's why I lefty you clueless."
I bite my lower lips feeling embarrass. I heard him chuckle, did what I say funny to him.
"Will you let me explained myself, and know the true story 4 years ago?" he asks, all I can do is nodded and prepared myself.
*Flashback 4 years ago*
"Hey!! I want to dare you." My friend said.
"What it is?" Well I am curious what dare do I have to do.
"Then it settles, you can't back away. I want you to treat your crush like she doesn't exist, but you will answer her confession, don't worry it will only take 2 years."
I was in a total shock; like how can I do that when one thing I want to do last is to hurt her. But I can't back away, he already decided, so I can't back away.
The day Y/n confess to me I feel guilty, I treated her like she is nobody, I hurt her, for the past 2 years I hurt her but knowing the deal was over I will tell her everything.
*Fast Forward*
I was walking alone, at the dark alley when someone pull me over, it was the girl who has a crush on me, since I moved in.
She put my hand around her waist, and seduce me with words to make me turn on, but I feel the opposite, and that's when she shouted and shouted, she turns her head back only to pull me into a kiss, I was shock, that due to shock I can't move.
When I came back to my sense, I push her hard and shouted at her making her tears fall and run away from me, I don't care there is only one person I love, and its Y/n nothing else.
*Next Day*
I woke up having a bad dream about Y/n leaving me. I freshen up then head to the bus stop, I waited for Y/n to came in but she was nowhere so I became worried, I text her since the deal was now finish, I can tell her what I feel.
But even before I could type a text it says;
Y/n My Love already blocked you
Do you want to block her too?
Yes | No
I was in shock so I check my Instagram and twitter, and search her name. But it says;
Instagram:
Its_Y/n_girl does not exist in Instagram
Do you want to go back at you home page?
_____
Twitter:
Y/n_In_your_area does not exist in twitter
Would you like to go back at your home page?
She deactivates all her account, I lost connection to her, where is she? I am so confused. But one thing I know is that we are still together, I never received that she wants to break up with me. I am confident to the fact that I am still her boyfriend, and I am determined to have her back.
*End of Flashback*
And not a single thing of what happens in the past make me regret it, I am so glad that I let myself believe him again even though he was the real reason why I have a trust issue.
When I think about it, what if I push him away again, will I ever feel the warm I feel years ago. Sometimes I ask myself 'Am I enough for him? I leave him without any proper goodbye, then I let him find me, but then here he is in my arms'
He helps me to be with the people who I forgot, and I was shock I never knew that after all what I have done to them they still able to accept me open arms.
They accept me again without any hesitation, they hug me, and say how much they miss me and loved me.
That was the day I feel the second warm that I've been longing to my whole life, since the day I leave them.
I don't know why they are able to accept me whole heartedly. I forgot that when I'm at my lowest, they are the one who is their supporting me, but I decide to ignore them, doubting them, thinking that they will just use me too.
I became insensitive to the part that I thought that I will survive, yet without feeling the warm I used to feel.
I was able to avoid him, leave the people I thought would just hurt and use me. I was able to move on from him, without any help, I was able to erase the memories that should be erase.
But what I did make me regret it, I was successful to what I've been dreaming of, but I did it without any support.
But the time I meet him, and let him explain his side, I feel so guilty. I was so full of guilty and regrets, due to my selfishness I hurt many people who show love and support me in every dream I want.
____
'Eternity'
Now I was now walking in the aisle as my father was on my right holding me in his arms, as I look up I saw the man I loved, the man who hurt me and broke me, but at the same time the man who put me back into pieces again.
"Take care, and love my daughter like she means the world to you, treat her like your queen like how I treat her as my princess." My dad said, then he looks at me.
"Treat your husband nicely, take care of him, and love him. Now I am giving you my princess. Love and understand each other. If ever you think you can't take the problem anymore, take a deep breath and inhale to calm yourself down, after talk about it calmly." My father advises us calmly.
"Even though I already find my prince, you will always be my king. I love you." I said as I kiss his cheek and hug him.
"I love you too."
After that he pass me to him, we started to walk as we held our hand together at the altar.
After sharing each other's our vows, it was the we are declared as husband and wife, we share a passionate kiss, as the crowd applause us.
It was something I will cherish my whole life is becoming one with the person I loved the most.
He was my first love now my eternity, now and forever I will love him till death do us apart.
