Xia of Tumen

Chapter 4

Years floated by. Xia's 18th birthday came and went. Xia learned to speak Korean fluently, and without a strange accent, and she slowly came to believe everything the government told her, which was indirectly, everything Kim-Il-Sung told her. China was the last thing she thought about. She was thinking about good grades so she could go to college.

Only the people in the workers party, or whose parents are in the Workers party get to go to college. College was an honor Xia was going to make sure to get. Dasom and Xia's friendship grew over the years. Of course, most girls at 18 were thinking about getting married. But Xia hadn't even thought of it. If she did good this year, she would be going to college next year.

So Xia scribbled away at her school work until the lunch bell rang. She walked outside with her lunch. She suddenly noticed that Dasom's usual pail in her hand was missing.

"Dasom, Did you forget your lunch?" Xia asked.

"Uh...oops. Yes." Dasom ran inside and brought her pail outside.

Xia looked down at the bucket, but it was empty. "Dasom, there's nothing in your pail, did you forget to pack lunch?"

"I guess so."

"Well, You can have mine." Xia saw that Dasom wasn't going to take it. "I'm not hungry." she added.

"Yes you are! You're always hungry."

Of course Dasom was right, but Xia couldn't let Dasom starve to death! "You are too. We can split it okay?"

"Oh alright." Dasom was really hungry. It would be hard to say no.

But Dasom didn't just forget her lunch that day, she forgot her lunch practically every day. Xia began to wonder why. Did they not have enough food? A lot of her friends were forgetting their lunch. Xia had heard about some floods, maybe they ruined the crops.

Finally, one day Xia built up the courage to ask, "Dasom, Are you really forgetting your lunch?"

"Why else would I not bring lunch?"

"Well, Maybe," Xia wasn't sure she wanted to ask this, "Maybe you don't have any lunch to bring? Is there a famine I don't know about?"

Dasom wasn't sure what to say, "uhhhhmmmm...."

"I'm your friend, remember? You can tell me anything."

"Well, Okay." Dasom gave up on hiding it, "We've never had much food. But now, there were floods, and then extreme heat the next year. And it doesn't look like the rice crop is going to make it this year either. Other countries are supplying food to help us, but it is getting sold at a high price. Higher than most people can afford. So I've been skipping lunch to help the family. A lot of people have been."

"What have you been eating at home?"

"Um... Rice."

"So you aren't having to go to cheaper food, but you're skipping meals?"

"Just, less rice."

"Oh" That made a little more sense. But why wasn't Xia running out of food? Did that thing called a class make a difference? Of course. She knew that. The government thought she was better than Dasom, because of her class. They were probably giving her more food also. But that wasn't fair! Dasom worked much harder than Xia! Xia was sure that Factory work is easier than farming. And College would be easier also.

The thought of all her friends without food made it so Xia just couldn't eat her food in front of them. "Here Dasom, I'm not hungry. I couldn't eat it if I tried."

"You sure?" Dasom did not want to leave Xia hungry, "You might get hungry later."

"If I do, I will have supper to come home to. But I won't get hungry." Xia knew she would get hungry, but she was getting plenty of rice for supper.

"Alright." Dasom took the bowl of rice and shared it with another girl who didn't have any lunch. Even though Xia's stomach was growling, it was nice to know that she just gave two girls lunch that they wouldn't have had. It was a nice feeling.

It became a pattern for Xia to not eat lunch, instead she gave it to friends. She never told Chung-Ae. She was afraid he would give her more food to take, and not eat any himself. He does things like that she knows, and she doesn't want him to even think of it.

So she went to school and gave away her lunch, and came home and ate supper. But no more than usual. She was very afraid Chung-Ae would notice that she was getting slightly thinner. She thought she was a little too big before anyway. They would have a good crop next year. Or so she thought. If she had only known how wrong she was.

One day after she had gone through her daily pattern of skipping lunch, and then coming home and eating supper, she and Chung-Ae, were sitting outside just talking.

"Chung-Ae? Can I ask you something?" Xia asked.

"I'm sure you can." Chung-Ae smiled at her, "Go ahead."

"Do you ever wish that you had children of your own, and not just me?"

Chung-Ae thought for a moment. "Before I found you, yes. Many times. But when I found you, I felt all the dreams of having children came true."

Xia smiled at that answer. After she thought for a moment, she said, "Chung-Ae? Can I call you Papa?"

Chung-Ae smiled and paused a moment to think. "I think you should keep that name in honor of your real father. He's given you so much more than I have. I don't deserve to be called Papa."

Xia sat up and looked at him, and said eagerly, "I think you deserve it. But if that's what you really want."

"It is what I really want. That is a special title, only for the father I helped you bury." Chung-Ae said.