Ignorance is Bliss

Author's Note: For a long time, I wondered what Obi-Wan was thinking when he told Luke that Vader killed Anakin. I think I've finally found the answer. I hope you enjoy. :)

~ Amina Gila

He's not really meditating, but it's a good imitation. At least he has enough time to sort through his conflicting emotions. Obi-Wan exhales slowly, eyes closed, feeling the ship humming all around him. Anakin's son is in the main hold, still practicing with the lightsaber, but Obi-Wan had excused himself, wanting a few minutes of quiet.

It wasn't easy, looking into those familiar blue eyes, telling the young, curious boy that his father – my brother – is dead, but he had to do it for the sake of the galaxy. Luke is so pure, so light. It hurts sometimes feeling that brightness in the Force and knowing how different things could have been. He's so similar, yet so different from – from him. His uncle and aunt may have been killed, but that has hardly lessened his innocence.

Anakin's son knows little of the extent of evil. He hasn't been exposed to it; he hasn't faced it head on. He's still barely more than a child. Even from here, Obi-Wan can feel his determination to prove himself as a Jedi, to be like his father. His emotions are so strong, but Obi-Wan has hope he can learn to control them. He must if the galaxy has any hope of a savior. Like it or not, it is his destiny to confront Vader. Vader. A part of Obi-Wan mourns at the mention of the name, crying for the loss of the little boy he once knew.

Ten-year-old Anakin climbs onto the couch, squirming close to Obi-Wan as they watch a holofilm together. It's been several months since Anakin became his Padawan, but Obi-Wan is still uncertain how to deal with him. He's always so emotional, something he can't even begin to approach. He grew up knowing how to control his emotions, and he doesn't know how to teach that to his new Padawan.

Anakin has absolutely no qualms in scooting over and leaning against him, head resting on Obi-Wan's shoulder. After a moment's hesitation, Obi-Wan puts an arm around him and feels his Padawan relax against him. Anakin's hand clutches Obi-Wan's tunic, a feeling of contentment humming through their bond. "I love you, Master," mumbles Anakin so quietly Obi-Wan barely hears him.

Obi-Wan nearly chokes. No. No, that's not – What's he supposed to do now? "Jedi – Jedi aren't supposed to say things like that," he tries carefully, hoping he doesn't hurt Anakin's feelings. He hates when he's upset; he has no idea how to treat him then.

"But it's true," insists Anakin, looking up at him with bright blue eyes. He hesitates imperceptibly, "Don't you care about me?"

"Of course, I do," he replies instantly.

"Then why don't you ever say so?" the boy wonders.

"It's not the Jedi way," Obi-Wan explains patiently.

"I don't like it," Anakin grumbles, "This is better." He shifts, wrapping his arms around Obi-Wan and hugging him tightly.

Obi-Wan slams the memory away almost as soon as it surfaces. He cannot afford to remember things like that, to indulge in the past when none of it matters anymore. He won't cry over it again; he finds that he doesn't have tears to cry anymore over the constant ache he's carried around deep inside his heart for nearly two decades. It's pointless anyways. It won't change what's done. It won't bring Anakin back either.

He reaches out, silently checking on Anakin's son through the Force. His enthusiasm is radiating so strongly, and Obi-Wan finds himself wishing that he could help him. But no, it's not possible. Even if he were there, he doesn't think he could bring himself to train this pure child. He already knows where his destiny lies. He has to save the princess, Anakin's daughter, for he has no doubt that she was captured. When he finds her, he'll have to face Vader again.