Next to Me

Chapter 15

Nicky

I can almost hear my stupid mother laughing at me. My family was right, I couldn't find a decent man if I was hunting them. I probably have 'Sucker' tattooed on my forehead in an ink that only low life men can see. After Logan leaves, I do the very unladylike thing and drink myself into a stupor. After all, getting blind drink is what got me into this mess right? I turn my phone off. I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't want anyone calling. I eventually crawl into bed, still in my clothes, and fall asleep.

Christmas morning I sleep till noon. I get up with a massive hangover. I take some pain killers, shower, and crawl right back into bed. I shoot out a quick email to my sister Jessa and my brother Dominic. I tell them I'm sick and the doctor told me to take it easy for a few days. I shut my laptop and go back to bed. I don't know why I'm more shocked this time around. I should be used to it by now.  I don't know why it feels worse this time around.

Yeah I do.

Because it is Logan. I knew from the start he could wreck me if I let him in. I knew it from the moment I met him. He's one of those people you meet and you know, like some kind of clairvoyant, they are going to change you.

And boy did he.

That Scottish rogue had me believing that I was the love of his life. More like the prank of a lifetime.

I feel like such an idiot. Why didn't I question things further? Why was it so easy to fall into that with him? I fall asleep struggling with the pain and embarrassment that I feel. I wake up the next morning and go downstairs to make coffee. I look at the Christmas tree in my living room. I remember how blissful the last week has been. Just the two of us, living here like any other married couple would.

And yet I feel heartbroken that we weren't really married.

I drink my coffee and head back upstairs. I can't even relax in my bedroom without seeing him everywhere. This whole house reminds me of him now. I was starting to imagine a life with him. Regardless of how it came about, I wanted to be married to him. Yeah sure we had a strange start, but what a wild story to tell our grandchildren someday. I crawl back under the blankets and cover my head as if that will somehow shut out the world. I replayed it over and over in my head how Roman told me 'it was a prank, he was supposed to tell you. I'm sorry.' The look on Arden's face and, oh my god, his mother. I must have looked like a total fool.

Three days later I finally turn my cell phone back on. I have a dozen messages from Arden. Twenty missed calls from Logan and five missed calls from Jessa. I call Jessa back first. She asks me if I'm feeling better and if she can stop by. She has a surprise for me. I had forbidden her from buying me anything for Christmas but, much like me, she rarely listens. I nearly burst into tears when she pulls up in my driveway.

"What is going on with you?" she asks me as I hug her extra tight. I smile, wiping a stray tear from my eye and invite her in. Since I have no furniture we sit on the air mattress I had left in the living room. I can still smell Logan's cologne on the pillows.

"It's just been a tough week," I say with a dismissive wave, "So where is my surprise?"

Jessa gives me the sweetest smile.

"It arrives the end of June," she says cryptically. I stare at her for a moment before what she's trying to tell me sinks into my thick head.

"Wait," I say with a gasp, "you're pregnant?" She shakes her head yes as her eyes fill up with tears. I give a whoop of joy and tackle hug her.

"Oh my God, Jessa! Is Tony excited?" I squeal.

"He is! It wasn't planned but we are happy. We want to get married after the baby is born. I hope you will be my maid of honor when the time comes and of course, my little one's godmother," she pats her tiny curve of a belly. I start to cry again.