02 | empty beds and faded roses
Then the memory passes, Jisoo's eyes seeing once more, her ears hearing the here and now.
She wished she had known just how painful her fixation on Taehyung's lip would be, because loving the rest of him was torture, and sometimes she looks back and wonders if she could have even stopped herself, warned herself away from such elegant heartbreak. would she have even listened?
Or would the slight tickle of taehyung's breath expelling from that goddamn lip cause her words to stick to her throat, plastering themselves to her trachea and refusing to dispel into the palpable air. And the silence would have carried on forever and ever, until they dispersed into dust and scattered themselves between remains of atoms of an age long gone— until a time she might hear his voice echo through the nothing.
The bed was soft and warm. Jisoo could feel his arm draped over her, more comforting that any blanket she had ever lay under. She was perfumed by his musky scent, as was her nightgown and her bed sheets and when next she slept alone his smell would make her feel safe and warm and happy.
Jisoo ran her hand over his back, the soft hairs tickling the tips of his fingers. She could feel the bones through his skin, the vertebrae of his spine looking as though they tried to pierce through his flesh. His skin was rougher than she remembered. His hair had grown so long now; a thick, brown, bushy mess. She clutched it in her hands and could feel the salt from the sea, scratching at her fingers. Long and lank and greasy, but he suited it. The way it framed his eyes, and his now thinned face, made her lust for him more than she remembered.
It was only his eyes that remained unchanged, coloured a grey that was colder than the winter sky, yet she found warmth when she looked deep into them.
In Jisoo's eyes, Taehyung saw his reflection. It was him who had changed. Not on the outside, but the inside. He had become jealous of anyone who had found love and bitter towards anyone who laughed.
As she looked upon herself, in his perfect grey eyes glistening with love for her, she knew this wasn’t real. Jisoo wanted to stay with him forever. She couldn’t look away, but more than that she didn’t want to. She wanted those eyes to be the last thing she ever saw.
I love you, she wanted to scream. I love you more than you know. I need you and I love you. Please, come back to me.
Taehyung will not hear me, but I need him to hear me. Taehyung slept there, beside Jisoo, smiling with his angelic face glistening under the dim light of the night.
"I love you", she blurted as she woke. her eyes were red rimmed and she knew she was loosing her mind, "I love you, more than you'll ever know, jisoo" Taehyung said and Jisoo felt relaxing under his soft touch.
Taehyung felt like loosing his mind…again. He could feel it unraveling, the threads of every happy memory he could ever once recall, all but a disarray of strings scattered about his feet. His feet dig deeper into the bed as he hit the ground, his hands unsteady as they silently claw at the sheets. He opens his mouth, but not a sound comes out, his head violently quivering as if there is a drill to the back of his skull.
"Taehyung," Jisoo cried as she sat on the bed, the clock hitting two, she missed him, so much. "I am here, baby." She heard her lover saying as he draped his arms around her, guarding her like a shadow, the bed wasn't empty anymore and Jisoo was too happy to see if the roses were still faded. Afterall, she got her lover back.
