En Kaadhal Dhevadhai...!

Stalking/Following!

Pop culture has a bad habit of presenting stalking as normal dating behavior. Rom-coms and popular TV series feature lovable underdogs fumbling in their quest for love as they study their crush, join the same activities, ask around about them, and coordinate “coincidental” meetups. If the object of their affection doesn’t instantly fall for them, they’re seen as playing “hard to get” and efforts to win them over get ramped up. Through these unrealistic depictions of “love,” viewers are socialized to perceive these grand gestures as romantic and suitors “are socialized to be persistent,” - Julie Lippmann, University of Michigan

_______________________________________

If you are following me from Insta days, you may know that I follow some codes/principles very strictly. None of my old FF/OS would have explicitly glorified any crimes. Most are fun KM stories without much deeper concepts. They will be married couple and most FFs happens inside home. Enna solla pogirai is different, but when it's ending you will find it's soliciting no bad values. It's always because, PS is a prime time serial and KM followers many are still teens, and writing anything would mean the kids are also reading. I never wanted to convey wrong message to the general audience. Erkanave with the things happening in the soceity, don't want to take a  serious subject and make it a laughter session.

But had a conversation today with a friend and found that I have written about stalking in this story as a casual thing.

First sorry for that. Stalking can never be casual. K2 is a comic guy and that entire 2 3 parts are just a laughter theory. Stalking thappu nu I have added a line, but that didn't serve purpose. Didn't realise much when I wrote because I know what's going to happen next. This rain chapter I knew before, so it's like she won't accept and he will realise it's better to observe than to stalk. But rereading it today made me feel I have just glorified and romanticised it which I don't want to do at all.

So this post is specially to say, stalking is no romance, it's a crime which can make people end up in jail. Kumar doesnt know Chaitra. He knew her for 1 hr and his instinct told him to stalk her which is totally not acceptable just coz he is a hero. Here he didn't mean to cause her any harm and she too didn't take it seriously, still it's bad.

As the story had already progressed, I thought of just putting out a strong message instead of changing the story as such.

Here again, let's not encourage stalking by romanticising it. Given more than half the readers are girls, as per stat 1 of every 6 girl is being stalked. And I m sure most of us would have been stalked. Either in person or on social media.

So, let's not encourage these kind of things, which is just going to put us only in danger.

'Ithellam normal thaane' 'Itha poi en perusa pesringa' 'Pinnadi thaana Varan ethuvum panlaye' 'Its become common'

No it's not. It's not normal or common. First step of most major crimes is stalking. Only when an unknown guy follows us, we will come to know the real feel. It's totally cringe-worthy and scary.

I would have been more happy if someone pointed it out to me rather than me saying it myself.

Please girls/guys, let's not accept whatever is written just coz it feels romantic or the hero is doing it.

_______________________________________

Stalking is not normal. Stalking is not love. It's obession. IT IS A CRIME. First timers may get up to 3 years in jail.

Generally only repeaters are referred as stalkers. But IMO even one timers are stalkers! As long as a person follows another without knowledge, it's stalking!

_______________________________________

So, I don't know about other authors, but if you find something like that in my story, put it in comments. I won't take it personal at all. These things need to be said. By you.

Sorry & Thanks - Izh!!