lost** Billie Eilish X Reader

AVOCADO ON TOAST

TRIGGER WARNING: ED!!!

"It's ok. Yeah the situation is fucked but Kate's a bitch what did I expect" she rolled her eyes at the situation and began to get up.
"I'm making breakfast. I'll be in the kitchen" and she walked out. Um what the fuck.
This has happened before. She pretends she's good but she's not. It's how she copes. I sit in the bed for like 10 minutes all up in my head trying to understand how to navigate the situation. What to do.

After laying there and trying to gather my thoughts for about 5 minutes I decided I should make my way to the kitchen with Billie. I get up wander towards the room unsure of what the atmosphere will be like. I just opened the door and there she was, dancing around to NEVER by JID in the kitchen like everything is ok, taking the toast out of the toaster and moving it towards the counter where she continues to spread avocado on it. She turns sound to face me momentarily.

"Hey bubs" she greets me with a small smile until she turns back around.
"Um hey... what are you making?" I reply still confused on the way she is acting.
"Just avocado on toast for the both of us. You didn't eat already right? I know you were out earlier because you came in after I woke up." she says before continuing to rap along to the song.
*ok what you call a bitch that don't suck dick? You don't. And if you think you finna come up this... you won't*
"Oh right um no i just went to Mae's for a while, we had a tea that was all then I came back I wanted to be back before you woke up," I ramble a little trying to answer the question so that I could ask mine
"Bil do you need to talk about what's going on?" she turns back around with two plates in her hand towards the table and sits down, still with a tiny spring in her step.
"Huh? Talk about what?" THIS BITCH i stg
"About Kate..."
"OH right. No." she says with a slight chuckle, dismissing the situation
"I wanna go to the mall today.. oh sorry the ShOpPiNg CeNtRe" she says cackling, putting on a British accent. I roll my eyes at her mockery of my accent and throw a crumb at her taking a bite of my toast. I can feel her watching me slightly as I eat despite the silly situation we're in and I sink into myself a little.
"Ha ha your so funny. Sure we can go shopping today" I say sarcastically trying to distract her from eyeing me.
"Cool i just wanna pick up a couple swim suits for the beach. Also, hey... I'm proud of you" she says the last part with a frown.
"Can we not talk about it right now"
"Baby no... I'm proud of you, for eating especially so easily right now it's like you didn't even think about it"
"Uh yeah I guess. Thank you" I return a slight smile and look away. I take a breath in quickly and get up taking my half eaten toast to the bin and chucking it, before leaving the room and going into her room.

As I enter I pull off my shirt and pull my sweats down a little bit so it's resting just under my stomach and then move to the mirror. I stare at myself facing forward for a while, taking myself in. After I get bored of that I turn to the side and look at my stomach, how it sticks out just a little bit. I suck it in so that it looks flat and then breathe out again and look down in disappointment. I was just about to switch angles before I hear the door open. I quickly pull my sweats back up and move to my draw to look like I was just changing and Bil walks in.

I feel her staring at me and I'm slightly uncomfortable despite my back facing her, but also because it's only Billie my heart calms slightly. I'm confident around her. I turn around to see her frowning at me.
"Yes?" I say
"Y/n what were you doing"
"Nothing... I'm just changing. So should you so we can go to the mall" I respond acting innocent.
"Y/n dont bullshit me you're rubbish at hiding. You know you're beautiful. What did we talk about?"
"Billie-"
"No y/n I'm trying to help you so come on let me hear it. Tell me what you've eaten today."
I sigh and roll my eyes. We came up with this thing to help me where I say out loud everything I've eaten that day. You may be thinking that that would make me feel worse but it really doesn't because it helps me out into perspective what I've actually eaten and usually it's not a lot.
"Ok fine. I had a tea and one slice of avocado on toast. Happy?" I say even though I'm thankful for her"
"Yes I am. Now it's 11 am. You have eaten a COMPLETELY normal amount for 11am."
"I guess so" and she's right. A slice of toast and a tea is completely fine. It's just when I'm in the midst of eating it can feel like too much.