🌼Because I Lied🌼

🌼09🌼

🌼𝔹𝕖𝕔𝕒𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕀 𝕃𝕚𝕖𝕕🌼
Word Count: 3,159
Warnings: Profanity, Angst, Suicidal tendencies, slight fluff, kissing,
Information: If you are triggered, please take a break and do something else.

     I sat in the hospital waiting room with Aizawa. It was tense and quiet, and I heard this dumb baby crying out of the corner of my eye. I wish it would just shut up. Crying was so annoying, and it reminds me of you. He ended up calling my mom, and I knew I'd probably hear an earful from her. I heard my name being called, first name. I look up. She didn't look mad, she looked like she's been crying which she doesn't do. My dad was there, his face stone cold and concerned. It was like looking through a picture, fake smiles and it only lasts so long.

     I stood up and she hugged me so tight I thought I'd spit up blood. Luckily I didn't, but I could feel it making its way up. "Why didn't you tell us?!" my old hag desperately and frantically asked me. I didn't know what to say but I felt my face become wet. I was fucking crying! I don't cry! Dammit! Everyone looked shocked and my old hag hugged me. I hate hugs but I couldn't bring myself to push her away. No, she's not perfect, but she's the only mom I have and I'm grateful to have her. And now that I think about it, I may be losing her too if I die. When... I die. I'm going to die, Deku. And I want to blame you.

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     I sat in the common room, reading an article about hanahaki. I wanted to throw up actually, learning what was happening. My lungs were decaying. I had two dying lungs, my left was a lot worse than my right. The veins in my lungs were darkening as flowers continued to gain nutrients from me and grow until I threw them up. More and more grew with each stage. Four stages, a lot like some cancers. The stage I'm at is three, and I'm close to four but I can still get the surgery if I wanted it. The flowers grew off of the conflicted emotions and hormones someone feels. The more we feel them the more they grow.

     I looked at pictures of lungs that had flowers growing out of them. They were ugly and looked a lot like lungs that smoked cigarettes for too long. They were so dark in color you couldn't tell they were lungs anymore. I couldn't eat after these, and I started a stupid medication to 'help' my condition. Honestly it's shitty and I hate it. About everyone in the class now knows I have hanahaki. Everyone thought you were recovering from an injury in your intestines.

     I hear movement and snap my head up. I see you and you looked like a deer in headlights. My heart clenched and you turned away. It pisses me off how much you turn away. After my breakdown we weren't the same. I felt my heart racing and I bit my lip. You walk towards the cabinet and grab a glass cup. You pour yourself a cup of water, and take a sip. You didn't look at me, and I stared at you. It was quiet in the room, and it was dark out. All I wanted to do was punch you in the face.

It's like you were avoiding me, and I hated it. I hated you. This was all your fault. I shouldn't be... be sick! I wanted to tear you apart but I also didn't want to see you hurt... not anymore. I peer at you as you take your index finger and circle around the lip of the cup. The condensation of the cold water sticks to your finger and slides into the table. I press my lips together and you take another sip. You glance at me with a face I can't quiet recognize.