Danny

1

"She thought the drugs helped her find herself but in reality she lost herself even more."

The whole summer she laid on the couch, her hair in knots that were knotted together. She sat and scrolled through her feed on her iPod, seeing long long comments, that was normal, and pictures of edited manga photos. She sighed, her eyes flickering up at the clock, it was only two in the afternoon. She woke up an hour ago. It was hot outside, but it was still cold to her.

Seeing a comment notification on Instagram, she got excited and read the long comment eagerly, it was a reply to their role play. The admin's character was so well laid out, adorable, but a killer. She started typing out a reply to her 'role play', it was about about thirty minutes of writing, but it felt like five. She loved making characters and little stories for her followers to read, all six hundred of them. She was considered popular in the whole community of role playing, famous. No one ever made edits for her though, nothing but "Can I role play with you....?" It made her feel happy, that people looked up to her writing style and how she had a way with words. She sat up on the couch and opened the Instagram camera. Her eyes were dark and her hair was scruffy, her cheeks caving into her mouth almost. She hadn't eaten a proper meal in two months, only a bag of McDonald's and some snacks here and there. She weighed only 90 pounds for a twelve year old, five foot one girl.

Danny didn't care about her body though, whenever she looked in the mirror her face bothered her and the way she was lanky and unattractive, the way her forehead was as long as the width of her thin hand, how her hips were large, and how her thighs were shaped, she never had a thigh gap which was odd, she was verily underweight. She wanted to be normal and weigh a hundred pounds, but whenever she ate she threw up and had to stick to small meals and herbal teas, soda to calm her stomach, and lots and lots of baths. Her hair reached to under her breasts, she looked more old than she was. She had a complex mind, which resulted her to be a grade higher (and because of her mom wanting to finish school early; then go to college and succeed), and have a lot of problems, panic attacks, mental break downs, and a long term extensional crisis that would last two years (and counting). She thought about telling her mom, and she did, her mom always acted negative and hostile so she blew her off, not even trying to understand. Danny kept her thoughts to herself like she always did since the second grade, she was a great student in school, A's, B's, sometimes C's, but other than that she was pretty good at playing teacher's pet. Although, there were some kids she absolutely hated full heartedly. She hated four boys, Gavin, J.R., Cavan, and Matthew. They always pissed her off, throwing her shit on the ground and pushing her around. Her friends only abused her, they would slap her and call it 'playing'. Although Danny didn't care if they slapped her, it was acceptable because they were her friends. She ended up chasing the boys for about three years every time at recess, because they pushed her buttons quite well. She hated J.R the most. He made her laugh on purpose all the time, which got her in trouble at school, and S-'s in citizenship. He threw away her special rock when they got in trouble, and had to walk laps around the black top. He chased her and took it out of her hand and put it into the trash can. Sure she laughed but inside it hurt pretty bad. She only knew how to laugh at hurtful things, not really cry. That's kinda why she never cries. Now a days, three of the boys go to her middle school and smoke weed, the other, eh, somewhere else. She didn't care. Danny only had a few friends. Michelle, Sadie, Lassie, Jean, and somewhat friends Beth, Katie, and Alexandria. They're all girls. Lassie used to say that Michelle was a bitch, like the loyal friend Danny was, she turned against Michelle and talked shit sometimes about her with Lassie. She still wanted to be friends with Michelle, but after 'what she did to Lassie' made her hesitant. Danny eventually developed a crush on Lassie but never told anyone, it slowly went away when Lassie said she was going to a different school. She only talked about deep things with Lassie once. Then, she left.

Now slowly becoming friends with Michelle again, she's home this summer, only planning to stay on the couch and not leave. The Internet was her life, as well as anime, manga, and people who went by nicknames or their real names, who wrote. And writing. Writing was her second dream job. She started listening to punk music once again like she used to with her dad. Instead of feeling that weird thing she gets in her stomach when she listens/sees things that link to her dad, she found a new founding comfort in it, the lyrics matched her life, and it reminds her of her Internet friends. They helped her so much, how to cope with things around her. Before she knew it she was addicted to social media, and found herself on her iPod, everyday. She deleted her personal Instagram, and decided to dedicate her social media time to writing.