THE HARAM POLICE left a comment on your video STEP TWO: CRUSH, CRUSH, CRUSH: How can you make fun of something so forbidden by Islam? You are a disgrace!
"You guys," I roll around my bed, the camera capturing my fit of laughter. "I can't actually believe someone made an account called The Haram Police just to tell me how much of a disgrace I am! I already know that very well, thank," I start laughing way too much, so much my eyes tear up. "... you."
"It's unbelie-haha-bable! Like, dude, their profile picture is even of my Haram Police hat!" at this I make an outraged face, pointing threateningly at the camera. "How dare you steal my hat, Haram Police?! Stealing is haram!"
"Now that I mention stealing, though..."
Step Three: Ninja Stealing is Still Stealing
It was a dull, boring morning, and this time I'm not lying-GASP I'VE BEEN HARAM AGAIN-, so boring, so incredibly, horribly, disgustingly boring, that little bored Alaia was desperate for some form of entertainment.
Unfortunately, the only source of entertainment I could seem to find was in my brother Zayed.
And he had cookies.
"Give me a cookie," I poked him. "Pwease?"
"No," he grumbled.
I didn't even like cookies that much, but they looked mouthwateringly delicious and I was booooreeeedd.
"Give me oooooneeee," I whined, poking him again.
"Go away," he was still refusing.
"Fine," I narrowed my eyes. Time for some ninja stealing.
BAAAAAAAAAAM!
"ALAIA! WHAT THE HEN?!"
"BAHAHAHAHA! HE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE! I've always been such a ninja, anyways, back to the story."
"Bahahahaha! You didn't even notice! I'm such a ninja," I boasted, munching on my price happily while Zayed sat there glaring daggers at me.
"They were my cookies!" he whined.
"Well now they're mine."
"You stole them!"
"I ninja stole them!"
"Ninja stealing is still stealing!"
"Fine!" I threw a cookie at his face.
"So," I spin around on my Throne, aka spinning chair. "That was the first time I stole something. And I say first time because I steal cookies for a living." I make a zoom in on my face, so all that is showing up on the screen are my narrowed eyes and my black hijab (which I am wearing just for the occasion). "Remember that, Haram Police. I may steal your cookies."
"Haram Queen out."
This one goes to Salia10, the Queen loves you too!
Cookies and ninja stealing,
-Catty (that's not my name that's not my name)
YOU ARE READING
How To Be Haram For Dummies
HumorThe old ladies, they be fearing her. The old men, they be gasping at her. The kids, they be running away. For her Haramness comes in an awkward dance, fear not! Meet Alaia Musa, young, wild, and a haram mess. Did she want to be like this? No, but ev...
