A Journey Through the Life of Trans* Youth- a Poetry Exploration

A Journey Through The Life Of Trans* Youth

When I was born, the doctors in the hospital took one look at my genitals and slapped an 'F' on my birth certificate... F for female, not for fail. Though that would actually have been kind of appropriate given present circumstances...

The word 'transgender', according to Dictionary.com, relates to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. Approximately 0.3% of the U.S identifies as transgender, less than half of that minute number feels safe enough in their environment to fully and completely be themselves. Coming out to unsupportive family or friends can leave you homeless, alone, abandoned, and unable to turn to anyone for help. Many young trans teens chose to avoid even coming out to themselves, for fear of what could happen after. A lot of trans teens and young adults turn to alcohol, drugs, self harm, and even suicide to quiet themselves and keep their gender identity and struggles to themselves. Teens who feel alone during the beginning of their transition have a suicide rate of 50% before the age of 20, however, with the proper support system, that number drops drastically to only 4%. With excerpts from A Letter To The Girl I Used To Be by Ethan Smith, What it's Like To Be Transgender by Lee Mokobe, To Every Suicidal Trans* Kid by Peter Hainsworth, How to Love Your Body in 10 Easy Steps by Ollie Schminkey, Gender Dysphoria by Joseph Crawford, Skinwalker by NoRoomForGhosts, Ghost Of You by Five Seconds Of Summer, Anxiety by Levi The Poet, Tell Me a Story by Skylar Kergil, The Village by Wrabel, Looking for Alaska by John Green,, TransMission: My Quest To A Beard by Alex Bertie, this is, A Journey Through The Life Of Trans* Youth.

How to love your body in 10 easy steps:

One- Stop eating

You may not think you are fat,

But eating less will make you feel as if you have control...

How to drop your body off

Behind a dumpster and transform

Into a bird

Fly into a club and look beautiful

Chest flat and palms grisly

Face a mask of quiet anger

Two- Pretend you believe in God,

It will give you a reason for why you have no control.

I asked Jesus to fix me

And when he did not answer,

I befriended silence in the hopes that my sin would burn

And salve

My mouth would dissolve like sugar on tongue

But shame lingered as an aftertaste.

Three- Welcome the anxiety as a friend

Bring it with you to every social function
And hold it close to you when you sleep

The anxiety is the only guarantee you feel...

I couldn't get out a whisper

Mouth open like an echo chamber

If I could just get it out we might set one another free, still

For some reason completely unbeknownst to me

Firm in my belief

That the greatest gifts have been

Beadlets of empathy sweat out as

Pores drained of their blood

Overcoming nature is supposed to hurt for a while

Drink words like whiskey