Noted

Chapter 16

I cuddled up in the corner of my seat, gazing up at the dark sky which was slowly becoming brighter with the approach of dawn. The sky was a light shade of lilac and pink, which reminded me of the cherry blossoms in central park that made my feel as if I were attending some sort of royal event whenever I'd walk along the path upon which the trees had showered their petals.

I let my mind wonder back into my good memories of New York; not the ones that included my parents yelling, or the times my friends gave up on me. Only the good memories. I thought of all the times I had visited the American Museum of Natural History with my elementary school, and the time I almost fell into the lake while I raced remote controlled boats with Rebecca as we laughed hysterically, and those precious moments when my mother would bring me to the Brooklyn Bridge at night to see the shimmering lights of the city and eat chocolate gelato. I smiled for a moment before I tried to erase those warm thoughts from my head. As much as I already began missing my bed, my mom and New York, I needed to start focusing on the present.

Although only one hour had passed since we'd been held at gunpoint, tied up in a dark room and chased by a psychopath with a shotgun, I couldn't remember ever feeling as free as I did at that moment. The unexpected, newfound feeling of liberation was not what I had expected in such a situation. What I had expected was to fall apart and feel cold inside. Although, on the contrary; I felt brave, excited, and I welcomed the unknown.

Sure, I'd just been chased by a man with a gun, but in a way, it shook me back to life. Ever since I was a child my whole life had been planned; mostly by me, but also by my parents. Of course I appreciated various aspects of my planned life; I did love to write, and loved working at The Times. However, somewhere within the safety of a tight ly planned day to day schedule. I often felt as if I had no excitement, no risk. Suddenly, everything was different for  me. Don't get me wrong, the guilt of what I had done will never leave me and will haunt me for the rest of my days,. The past can not be changed. I had done it. I wished so many times to just go back to undo everything I've done. However! the life that I know wouldn't be the same, neither would  it be for Troy. For better or for worse, the deed was done. I have to try to live with it and move forward.

I looked over to Troy, who looked like he was about to fall asleep at the wheel.

"Hey, sleepy-head," I said as I lightly touched his arm.

"I'm the sleepy-head?" he asked, smiling. "You're the one who's been snoring."

"I wasn't snoring," I argued playfully. "I was thinking." I noticed how tired he truly seemed and added, "Do you want to stop and rest?"

"Not yet," he replied, looking over at me to find me still bundled up in my coat. "That lunatic could be still chasing after us...but...we do need to gas up within a few miles or so. But you stay bundled up when we stop; I don't want you to catch cold."

"I'm tougher than I look," I said.

"And I care more than you realize," he replied. "So stay bundled up...please..."

I nodded. I liked how he cared about all the little details. He'd been brought up to care for people, and he did it well.

"Do you have any music in this car?" I said, searching the glove for some sort of CD, or anything. "We need to wake you up."

"I think my dad left a cassette still lodged in here." He leaned forward and turned the stereo on, and the song from the cassette deck, "Fire" by Bruce Springsteen started to play.

"Springsteen?" I asked with a teasing giggle. "Really, Troy?"

"What?" he asked, turning up the volume. "Don't act like you don't know the words."

He began to sing along and tried to get me to join him, but I pulled away and shook my head in protest. As he continued to sing about she pretending not to like it but knowing she's a liar, he flirted with me as he drove along. I rolled my eyes playfully.

He sang as he looked me in the eyes, just long enough to give me a wink, and then he quickly retreated back to the road. I decided to join in on the sing-along. We sang together and laughed when the verses about kissing and fire were over.

I couldn't help but blush at the song lyrics which described us perfectly. It didn't help that just the night before we had kissed, and my lips felt on fire for a long while after we had parted.

"You're quite the singer, Ramirez," I smirked.

"As are you, Moore," he smiled back.

"So, where exactly in California are you taking us?"

"I was thinking, San Diego."

"And, why San Diego, specifically?"

"I know my way around there the best," he explained. "My dad used to take me there when I was younger. We have family there; on his side, but I don't even know if they're still there. If they are, it's probably where my father went when he left us."

"Did you want to find him?" I wasn't sure why he'd want to go back to a place where he could run into his father who'd abandoned him, but, I was curious.

"No," Troy replied, thoughtfully. "I don't even know what I would do if I saw him again. I just want you and I to go to a place where I know some spots; where we can rest without getting noticed, until we decided where to go next."

I noticed Troy's father was a sensitive subject for Troy, so I backed off with the questions and decided I'd let him speak if he felt he needed to. A few moments of silence fell over the both of us until Troy broke the tension by letting out a sigh that caught my attention.

"I just wonder..." he said with deep thought. "I wonder, what made him leave us? Was it really the heartache over loosing Lucas, or was it for the money? I just would like to know."

I listened to Troy as he let out what had probably been stuck in his heart for a long time. He had already told me about his father, but he never told  me how it scarred him to see his father leave him and his family, right when they needed him the most.

"My mom was pregnant with the twins," he continued. "I was too young to take care of her, but, I did my best. She thanks me every day for sacrificing my childhood in order to be the man of the family, and for supporting them better than my father ever could. I had to be a man for him. I had to act like a father to my two little brothers, because of him. I never got a chance to really be a normal teenager; I had to work and study hard and protect my brothers and my mom..."

His eyes watered, but he quickly blinked the tears away before they could fall, and he kept his eyes on the road. I, on the other hand, couldn't blink mine away. I had no idea how much of a true hero he was to his family.

"I'm sorry for laying this all on you," he said, and before he could say another word, I took his right hand into mine and squeezed it hard.

"Don't be sorry,"

I held his hand and didn't let go. I wanted him to know that I was there for him; as much as he was for me. It was at that moment when I suddenly realized that this runaway situation wasn't only for my sake, but for his sake, too. I realized that Troy, too, wanted–or needed–to escape. He needed to be free, to be liberated, to be wild. For as long as we could own our freedom, I was determined make the most of it for the both of us.