Misconception

Chaper 1: Awakening Part 1

Evalynn (POV)

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I lazily opened my eyes to the sound of my alarm clock blinking the time 6:30 am. Today my son, Lucas, starts his first day of kindergarten,  and I can't help but feel a tugging at my heart.

Since James' death, I've spent every minute with him. Making sure he's safe and cared for, and now he'll be at school a majority of the time. I know I sound hopeless, but as his mother I'll always want him to be completely dependent on me. While lost in my thoughts, I feel a tiny body squirm itself unto the bed and proceed to stand up. Oh this little boy better not jump on my b-

"Mommy, mommy, wake up! It's time for school and LOOK I put my clothes on all by myself and I brushed my teeth and did my potty in the uh-oh box like a big boy!" he screamed excitedly and of course he's jumping on the bed.

" Excuse me! Where is my goodmorning?? And you know very well not to jump on this bed....

.....unless I'm jumping with you!!"

I quickly jolted up to join the fun. My son and I take turns jumping and flipping on the king-sized bed. I was doing tricks I had no business doing at my grown age. For five minutes we enjoyed a little morning fun which isn't a rarity for us. I'm all Lucas has and he's all I have so our bond is as close as it can get.

After a tickle fest I finally calm things down and help my lil nugget get off the bed.

"What would the new kindergardener like for breakfast??" I asked as we walked hand in hand into the kitchen.

"PANCAKES!!

And the bananas and the chocolate thingy pleaseeee!"

I make a show of making a mental check list as I check off each requested ingredient.

"Pancakes, banana slices, and nutella coming right up."

As I was bustling through the kitchen gatherimg the correct ingredients, Lucas found his way to the living room for his morning toons. As he settles in, I begin to get lost in my  own thoughts.

The first year after James death was probably the most difficult. I held a newborn in my arms while grief held my heart. My love, provider, comfidant, and friend was gone and he wasn't even able to see our son. Just looking at Lucas I knew I was going to give my all for this boy. He had his father's vibrant green eyes ,and when he smiled, I could make out dimples just like James. As his mother, I had to put away my pain and provide for this child. We lived a life of luxury and without James I wasn't able to keep up with the expenses. I was able to sell our home, and use the money to buy a decent two bedroom apartment so that Lucas and I can live comfortably. I traded in our Mercedes Benz and Ferrari for a Honda Civic and placed the rest of the money in savings. Our situatiom called for drastic changes so I wouldn't struggle. I went back to school to finish my degree and became a Physical Therapist (PT).

When I married James I dropped everything to be with him; there wasn't a need for me to work. He made sure I wanted to for nothing; this man was prepared for every possible circumstance however his untimely death wasn't one of them.
When love gets you, it's a whirlwind of change because now you live for that person and the same goes for them. James was a happiness taken too soon from my life. He was the love of my life and I can't let myself love again; I live for my son now.

"Mommy what are you looking at?"

I look down into the face of Lucas who is staring at me with a mixture of curiosity and wonderment.

"Do you have an imaginary friend too? Suzie in my class says she has one named Jenny but I think she is lying because Nick has an imaginary friend and Suzie is always copying him and she likes him and gives him cooties but it's ok because he's going to get the cootie shoot from the doctors. And-"