My Darling, Mollie

Finding Peace Among The Chaos

To have your child embrace a complete stranger for the sole reason of your acceptance of them being vacant cannot be a good feeling.

I, of all people, thought that my parents would love me for who I am. Oh, how wrong I was.

They had both begun to shame me before I finished speaking. They told me mentions of how I would go to hell for such atrocities as loving someone of the same sex.

To say my heart felt shattered was an understatement. As they pointed in my face and yelled endlessly, I felt dread seep through my veins, and a familiar nausea invade my stomach.

I had oh, so early oped that possibly even my mother might have been happy for me. I had thought completely wrong. 

Although my efforts to explain how I felt were strong, they seemed to go in through one ear and out the other. They're hate was relentless.

So now I sat on the edge of the sidewalk just outside of my hometown. I was sure that by tomorrow morning, when the neighbors came around to ask what the ruckus was, a black lie would be told.

The cold rain was no longer soaking into my sweater, I had been sitting outside long enough for it to become a part of me, and replaced the tears that weren't there to be spilt.

My nose red, eyes blotchy and soaking hair only added to the despair that resonated through my body. I wouldn't change for them, no I wouldn't dare.

Despite how torn I was over their reaction, I knew I loved girls and that was that. I didn't get to choose who I love, but even if I did I would still choose this.

If my parents wouldn't appreciate and love me for who I am then I would start over. At 19 years old it would be easy enough to get an apartment. I could live without them.

I stood up from the puddle that was building under me and slung my bag over my shoulder. I knew I'd be staying in a motel for a while but at least I would have my girlfriend to comfort me.

I was suddenly appreciative of the waterproof nike duffle bag I had packed. I had a suspicion that this would happen, so I had everything ready to go.

I sighed longingly. Mollie always knew what to say, she had a way with words. And her eyes, oh her beautiful eyes, they sparkled like the stars out of focus. 

I'd fallen in love with her smile from the very first time I saw it, all lopsided and innocent. She hardly ever noticed how gorgeous she was.

I didn't want to call her yet, I knew she would worry, but I longed for the tranquility that came each time she embraced me.

I wished she were here, wished that she could've been with me when I told them. She had been the one who told me to go for it, and if it didn't work out she had a plan for us.

Cars raced by as I daydreamed of my love. She would be furious with my parents, she had never liked them much. She always mentioned that they both had a "bad vibe."

For once she was glad that Mollie disliked them. It would be so much easier to leave them behind without someone nagging her about her parents wellbeing.

-

Hours passed and I had finally arrived at the motel just off of Gilhome street. I had stayed her once before after a bad fight with my parents ages ago, it seemed fitting. I booked a room and locked the door immediately upon entering.

I waited impatiently until exactly 9pm to call Mollie. She knew she'd be getting off of work and didn't want to call her while she drove.

The ringer buzzd twice before her honeyed voice sang a hello through the speaker. It was so calming, and I grew increasingly restless to see her.

"Hi, Babe." I could tell I sounded horrible. My voice was hoarse and shaking, and I doubt I looked much better.

"What's wrong?" Her tone immediately changed and I knew she was concerned.

"I, well I took your advice. It didn't go well..." I trailed off, starting to feel tears come back to my swollen eyes.

"Oh no... Baby, where are you? I'm on my way." Giving her the information, she promised to get there as soon as possible and with a quick exchange of I love you's, I hung up the phone.

"Everything's going to be okay, it'll all work out as long as I'm by her side." I muttered to myself, finding no comfort in the silence. 

Light from street lamps invaded through the windows, warning me not to fall asleep. My head hung in my hands with exhaustion, though. The crying must've done me in.

It was only thirty minutes or so until Mollie showed up at my door. As soon as she appeared in front of me and wrapped her arms around my neck. 

For the majority of the night we spent huddled up on the creaky bed, her telling stories to keep my mind off of things and me listening intently.

The television hummed quietly in the background and even as I drifted off to sleep, Mollie didn't stop talking to me.

She caressed the top of my head, coercing me into slumber. I enjoyed the security that I felt whenever she was near. It was enough to calm my racking nerves and slow my rapid heartbeat.

I had fond dreams of her and I living in a house of our own that night. No nightmares were present and slept all night and well into the morning.

Mollie had stayed with me all night, holding me against her chest with blankets wrapped tightly around us both.

Her eyes fluttered as she slept, and I resisted the urge to tuck the loose strands of her long blonde hair behind her ear. 

I loved everything about her, and her I. I  had forgotten all about last nights fiasco, even if it was just for a little while and I owed it to the only one left in the world who would love me for who I really am.

She's my darling Mollie, and I knew the next year to come would be a difficult one but I had faith that we could get through it.

I placed a soft kiss on her forehead and fell back into a dream filled sleep, content as could be.