Mew suppasit I surrender

Mew - the past 

Hearing gulf saying tho words in he's mind I couldn't think straight. did he think I was evil , that I was selfish and heartless that I only used him.
I couldn't look at gulf I would of begged for him not to think such thing but yet that how he saw me and it's was the truth I would always be the devil I didn't have a beating heart I was cold.

Letting each tear drop from my eyes looking at the ocean how my body felt like every waves crashing into the sea was all I could feel the pain I had was burning me , I didn't want to feel this pain i hurt so much yet I couldn't change it.
Mae knew I was breaking she took gulf Outside before I did something I would regret.

" mew I know this wasn't what you have planned but it for the best "

Turning around seeing mae I just fell to my knees and cried. She come over to rub my back knowing I was breaking

" sweetie it's ok gulf will come back just give him time. The boy is crushed as much as you are for different reason . For whatever you had shared it won't be broken that easily mew I can see the love behind he's eyes he shines when he's with you"

Crying even more from what mae was saying it didn't seem like gulf would ever come back she didn't hear gulf through and I couldn't bare this much more .

Spending all day in my office numb, I couldn't feel a thing , Closing my eyes letting everything that happen play behind my eyes it was getting late I haven't left this room my eyes was dry I couldn't cry another tear I just was staring into darkness this was my fate.

"'P'mew !!!"

Opening my eyes looking around I could hear gulf calling my name yet he wasn't here with me .

"Mew don't leave me "

Why could I hear this voice in my head why could I hear gulf voice .

Calling mae into my office I forget to ask her something from this morning . She walked smiled at me knowing it was ok and I couldn't do a thing in my mood

"P'mae this morning when mmmm me and gulf ... you know afterwards I was walking into a different room and gulf could hear my through how was that possible, was it possible

"
Rubbing my own head now I did sound crazy but it was true and she would know.

" oh mew you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say this"

Looking up frowning at her like she lost her dam mind what was she on about now.

" as we are from above when we love someone we become one , we trust wholeheartedly, we bound our hearts together to become one , it's rare to find on earth but it's unstoppable, we only have one heart to love one other person with once's you find that love it will complete you "

" what do you mean gulf doesn't love me and I don't even have a heart to love with p'mae "

" hay would I ever lie to you mew but if you can read gulf mind so easy it's because he trust you, he's letting you inside without knowing , and if he can feel your heart even tho it's not there, the fact you have open your mind to gulf you trust him, you are so relax around him that you feel safe you don't have your walls up . gulf can come into your soul he feel protected with you I can see this clearly."

"So what does it mean when i can hear him from a far distance like now I can still hear him shouting my name "

Mae eyes widen

" P'mew what is gulf shouting is he in danger "

I dropped the glasses from my hand letting it shattered all over the floor before I could think I disappeared and went to gulf.

Standing in gulf bedroom seeing him crying into he's pillow the tears was still streaming down gulf face , he was in so much pain and yet I caused this to the boy who I said I would never hurt , walking over to gulf wiping away he tears from him closing my eyes I couldn't see him cry anymore it's was tearing me apart.

Gulf turned over and grabbing my arm opening my eyes to see what I could feel he's eyes was red from crying so much. gulf hair was messy before I could say a word , my body took over and I ripped gulf out the bed to crash him into my arms I wanted to hold him to take all the pain away from him.

" P'mew don't leave me please "

Both our hearts was breaking for differences reason our love was true mae was right I would give my life to gulf I did let's my Guard down with gulf I never felt happiness like this , I felt warmth in his arms , I finally had a reason worth living for .

" I'm not going any were gulf but you don't deserve this , you deserve more I can't offer you more I'm so sorry "

Our sobs was all you could hear , gulf hearts was beating so fast moving my hand over to he's heart to calm him down I wanted nothing more to feel this inside me.

" " I ... I only want you P'mew "

Would I be selfish in this life and take away a normal life that gulf could live.

" baby I won't be selfish with you , i can't let myself take away your life "

" P'mew .... I love you "

Was the only words I could hear.,
gulf just told me he loved me yet I'm the one who hurts him the most , I caused this pain that he's in now yet ... gulf still loved me.

" baby I love you too "

From this moment I couldn't think of a tomorrow that didn't matter but for today I was willing to be gulf and only he's , I would love him till he took he last breath and then live a thousand years stilling loving gulf.

Laying us both back down onto the bed I just wanted gulf to be in my arms, to make all the pain go away . Rubbing gulf back to smooth all he worries , kissing him on he head to to be even closer to him. He closed he eyes and felt alseep

" baby I'm so sorry I hurt you today , we still have more to tell you. I not willing for you to find out from anyone else as much as I shouldn't do this it's the only thing I can think of "

Closing my eyes and moving both my hands into gulf leaning my head against gulf , all my past played in my mind like a movie again and I was showing gulf everything from my mother and my father how I fallen from heaven . Why I was in hell who I was trying to find the world I have experience the faces that may harm me.

Letting it's all play  between our minds gulf would wake up and see what I just shown him . I only let people see what they wanted never left anyone see my past it was a dark place I would never return to yet I was willing to give it all to gulf so he knew I would never hurt him as I know pain the most , I know love can cause the worth pain . Crying my self to sleep next to gulf seeing my pass was enough for one day.