Thoughts, inspirations,quotes.

"I've got this"

"Will it be easy? Nope. Worth it? Absolutely.
                Elite Daily.
I'm standing on a stage,looking down at people who just came to drink and have fun at a local bar. I'm tipsy, but still so strong. But I wonder how I even got up here in the first place.
Ohh I know, I opted to perform a slang, to entertain for the night.
Now I'm standing on stage and wish I never opted, I can't even seem to find my voice.

Everyone is looking at me expectantly, and I'm also just looking at them, all the moisture in my mouth gone, just pure dryness left.
They all know me, and most of them are just expecting me to do like I always do, FAIL. They just waiting to laugh, waiting for something to bug me about, to kill me with over the days, until I do something new.

Why I'm I still here?, why not just go before the bump drops? I ask myself, and a little voice in my head reminds me " you want to prove these people wrong".
But how? I don't know anything, I don't even have anything to say, and people are looking at me expectantly.

I look down at the crowd again.

"Hello" I say, finally finding a little bit of my voice.

'Hello you" someone shouts from the crowd "either you give us what we want or get down, don't waste our evening".
I know that voice, the voice of the same person who has made my life a living hell, the voice of the one I came here with my two best friends to get away from. He doesn't seem to stop following me, its like he's everywhere.

"Take your time Hans, we have all night" one of my best friends encourages. Something positive, always expect this from him.
I give him a thumbs up.

That doesn't help though, because I'm still extremely nervous.
"I'm Hans" I say.
"We know that idiot" another voice I recognise so well, screams from the crowd.
These are the people who drain the life out of you before you even have the opportunity to enjoy it. They crush your soul and leave you empty.
Right now, a thought just pops in my head, "show these people what your made of". Yes, I' m doing just that.
But how? I think I lost my voice again.

As I stand there, someone comes to tell me to please leave ghe stage for someone who can perform to perform. I let her hold the 🎤 , and something just comes to mind. What will my mum say if she was here with me?, she will tell me to stand tall and prove everyone wrong.
I know I was causing trouble by not saying anything, but a boy could try.

I took possession of the mic again.
"Chill, I got this" I tell her.  She looks at me questioningly, but leaves.
I regain my stage. I suddenly don't want to do slangs anymore, I want to do something else.

"So, I walk into school and a good sunny Monday, feeling nervous, even scared. I want to run back to my mums car and tell her I can't do this" I begin.

"Yes, offcourse, cause you're a pussy" I choose to ignore the third bully, I try not to let them get to me. I continue.

" I want to go back, but I don't. Instead, I brave it. The thought of new friends, the thoughts of new lessons, a new environment, new school, made me excited. But the thoughts of the unknown too, scared me. I continued to class anyway. When I got in, I was thrilled. People having small chit chats, they were even my age" I laughed. After primary school, I schooled in a local school beside where my mum and I leaved, and everyone there was all ages older, and none my age. It was always so hard, but I got used to. That was why hihg school and students my age, made me happy, when my mum finally found a good and better paying job.

I look down at the crowd, and it is dead silent, you could hear a pin fall. Surprisingly, even the jerks are silent, no doubt to have something to mock or use against me later.

"Immediately I started walking down the to take a sit? People were staring. Yes, they had to, it was mid term, and a new student. As I got closer, the stares gave me goose pimples all over. I am not a public person. I loved siting infront of the class, not like I had  choice in the other school" People laugh, and it makes me more bold.

"I went right down the middle aisle, until I stood beside the first bench of the second row, abit further from the thitd row. There was no one on it, so I sat down. I could not talk to anyone, because I did not know how to. Classes were coll, but I noticed something, whenever I answered a question correctly, I saw a group of boys giving me evil looks. The same group. You might want to listen attentively from here, because this story is about them" I stop, and look directly at these three jerks, sitting at the far end of the bar and eying me. They have already seen what is coming,but don't care.

"When classes are over, I notice no one wants to talk to me, everyone is just minding their business and to me its normal,since they don't know me. But its not normal, because when I reach the door of the class, three bous stop me, I immediately get scared and want to run away from their deadly glares. They warn me, they tell me to stop answering questions in class, and tell me I stink, and need a bath before I can come to class again. I didn't stink, we were poor but not a dirty set. That did not matter, and answering questions in class was a thing for me, like the ying to my education, so I continue answering the questions. Those three boys, also do not relent. They made me go through hell, even braking into my house and putting pepper in my mums food when they found out she was allergic to it. My mum spent a week in the hospital, and I stopped answering questions in class". I stop, because this is getting emotional for me, I already feel the tear behind my eyes.
The bar, urges me on by playing a slow song, to match my talking.

" These boys bully me, do all sorts of terrible things to me and all for what?  Answering questions im class? questions they themselves can't answer?, No, to me that's a lie. These people are just evil minds,trying to suck away the good in you, and they did well with me. I had no friends in school, just at home. They sucked the life out of me and it got to me hard" I'm crying now, but I let the tears fall freely.

"These people took my joy away, ript my soul into pieces,and for what? I will tell you" I look directly at them. They are staring with red hard eyes, but I need to look at them while I say this.

" These people are just a set of insecure bastards, people who have issues but are too weak to handle, and will just prepare to lay it on someone else. These are people who are lesser than you, and because you are better than them, they want to bring you down to their level" I look at them, all the tears gone from my eyes. They need to know it ks over, and my look is  daring them to try again.

" I have an advice for you. Whenever you meet someone like this, I don't know how you will do it, but don't show them you are weak, theh will walk on you. Show them you are morethan them, because you are. "Thank you" I conclude and look around at everybody, with smiles on their faces. They all stand and cheer me, applaud me.

I feel free, I feel relieved. Letting all that out was a big deal to me.

I walked down the stage, proud, as my friends kept on clapping. They both gave me man hugs.
" How did you do it?" They ask.
" I told you I got this".

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My very first talk. Please tell me how you feel about the quote, follow me ans keep yourself updated with different quotes and sayings. Let me also know if you relate to this. Anything to lift your spirit.
Thank you