Thoughts, inspirations,quotes.

"The giving of love, is an education in itself"

They say that the ending of real love is "Happily ever after", but in real life, sometimes even if it is true, it does not end happily nor stays forever. Love sometimes leaves us broken and lost without that person we care for.
Says Maria Bastida.

I'm sitting in my room, still trying to understand what just happened, how my life changed in a matter of seconds. The black label in my hand is already half, but I'm not drunk, I'm just tipsy. I'm trying to calm myself, but suicidal thoughts won't leave me. Never, I will never harm, or kill myself because of a man.

Three years, three fucking years of my life, wasted. Just like that. Something you never imagined, a far fetched imagination, just came to pass infront of your eyes.
We were good, we were fine. The perfect couple, peoples relationship goals. We even spoke of marriage, how our future was gonna look like, turns out, we were never meant to be, I am nagging, and ill mannered. Then how did we spend three years and I knew nothing about this.

I AM DONE WITH MEN.

I spend days, wallowing, drinking and crying myself to sleep. My friends check on me, but my family doesn't , because they do not know. If my elder sister finds out, he is dead.

Offcourse he tries getting to me, calls, texts, but I'm not ready, I won't ever be ready. I'm done. This is not the first time, but it is certainly the last. There's always an excuse, but this time he doesn't have any valuable excuse. I know I'm not nagging, and I am definitely not ill mannered. No matter what, nothing is an excuse to cheat, to lie. But I'm done, I'm done hurting, I'm done fighting for something that doesn't even exist.
When I pick myself up, its going to be just me and nothing else. Goodbye men.

Its been a year since everything happened , and I kept to my words. Told my ex off, and no men in my life. Everything keeps getting in place, one at a time. I got back to my studies, and studied quite as hard. What was I even thinking? I was sixteen when we met, and he was twenty two, he was experienced , and I was just his innocent little baby girl. He was my first. But I was done thinking about him.

I finally complete my studies, and graduate with a bachelors degree in translations.

The day after graduations, I go out to celebrate with friends. Its nothing too fancy, just a normal outing, with four of my best friends. We're drinking and dancing, celebrating, when I suddenly feel sweaty, and go to clean up myself in the washroom.
On my way out, I bump into a guy, he happened to be one of those I had danced with.
He says he has been waiting for me and I'm surprised. He asks for my contact and starts searching for his phone, but I'm so tired I just want to go back in and sit down. I take my phone from my purse and take his number.

In a matter of weeks, I have fallen hard for this guy. He makes me forget the best, and I feel like I have been missing alot. Plus he is great, his physique is perfect. Tall, dark and handsome. My friends and I will say TDH for short😁.

I feel like I spent a whole year of my life, shutting myself from the world, when I should have been enjoying myself. But I'm about to start living life again.

This guy makes me happy, he knows what to say and when to say it, at all times. We started dating, and right from the start, you could tell the difference. He was romantic, something my ex lacks, or lacked, I don't know. He is observant, and very careful with me. He is open, and cares alot about me.

When I tell him about my past relationship, how my ex constantly reminds me about the fact that I'm very much unlikable, and belong only to him, he assures me I am safe with him. In his words, " You're mine now,and nothing is going to change that. No one can take you away from me" he's my safe haven.

We date for two months, the best two months of my life. We've being on dates, and go almost everywhere together. Offcourse, that is only during the weekends, because on week days we are both busy. I love him, he loves me, we are both happy.

I wake up one morning to the sound of a phone going off. When I check, its his phone and when I check it. Its a single text that changes my world again.

"Hey, she's here".

He later tells me it was his ex. Apparently she left him, and was back to claim what was hers. I was devastated, he had told me about her, but never knew she will be back.
He promises and I quote " I am here for us, I will protect you from her, I want this, baby".

But it didn't work.

One moment we are fine, and the next he can't do it anymore. He wants his ex back. Apparently he still has feelings for her.

My heart bleeds morethan it had before and I shut down completely. Its so hard, being a fool for a second time, but I have learned, and I'm done with this.

We part ways, but whenever I'm trying to get myself back together, its like the devil is on high alert, because he starts trying to communicate with me again, and all my feelings come crashing down on me again.

Its been a year, and it still hurts like it was just yesterday. Its even terrible because I still love him, but he moved on and is happy with his girlfriend. Whenever I see her in any of his posts, anger takes over the good girl in me. When he posts her, I wish it were me, but it can't be, because its not me.

I'm still working on myself, but I will be fine.

BUT I THINK I LEARNED ENOUGH FROM LOVE.
I have to let it go.
But don't.

* * *
Hi, hope you all are great. This chapter is particularly touching, because it has hints of my life in it.
But I have to say, never stop loving. I think you can rest, but don't stop.

Let me know what you all have to say about this chapter in the comment section.
And please don't forget to vote if you love it. Thank you.